Asking for 50/50 after years of 45/55 expanded custody

[teej73]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Austin, Texas (Travis County)

I currently have 45/55 expanded state custody and pay $1700 a month in child support (includes insurance premium) for 3 children.

I am looking for advice on getting 50/50 custody and a reduced child support. My ex-wife remarried immediately after the divorce and I recently moved in with my fiance. I've asked for 50/50 since before the divorce, but my lawyer and I at the time were constantly on the defense from a barrage of unsubstantiated accusations from my ex's high priced lawyer. In the end we agreed to 45/55 expanded custody and full child support as well as monthly insurance premiums for the children (joint-conservators).

I have very little residual funds because my last lawyer advised me to move as close to the Austin neighborhood where the kids were in schools and into a comparable home as they were in before the divorce, even though I could barely afford it. As soon as I moved into the old neighborhood my ex moved the kids from their schools (Summitt Elementary neighborhood) without notice to me to a far corner of Travis County (Lago Vista). I barely make ends meet each month with the increased expenses of traveling and added daycare. I was counting on my position of working from home and the kids busing home to me from a local school to compensate for the increased expense of moving into the more expensive neighborhood/home. I cannot afford to live in Lago Vista as I travel to Austin locations sometimes for my work and the commute from a home office and other local amenities is too taxing for me and the kids. Its been hard, but I've fired the last lawyer that gave me this advice and asked me to gamble so that I could ask for 50/50. For a couple years now I managed to stay at the income I am at and within the expenses I currently have and still have not missed any possessions. I've also managed to fight off a false enforcement charge from my ex and her attempt to take the kids from me as her request to be sole conservator.

I'm looking for my next steps and possibly a better and more experienced lawyer that can help me with getting 50/50 custody. I am looking for a less confrontational agreement with my ex and her husband so that the kids have a more balanced life with both parents. What is your advice about this?

I've been told that I shouldn't ask for child support reduction in the hearing I request for 50/50 custody. My ex and I make about the same amount of income so I have been told by some of my friends in neighboring counties that the judge will probably offset child support. What is your advice about this?

Should I ask for a GAL (Guardian ad litem) to be appointed so they can determine what is in the best interest of the children? I've heard from friends in Williamson county that a GAL is automatically appointed in cases like mine, and sometimes the GAL never even interviews the plaintiff party. Should I ask for one and what does a GAL supposed to do and provide to the court?

What are the best points to present what's in the best interest of our children? I already attend as many extracurricular activities as I can and for example I cook for them every day, work with each of them on making sure their school work and projects are completed on time, and even trim their finger and toe nails every week I have them. I can present countless facts like this as evidence I am a responsible father, but I am looking for advice to help me in court as these do not seem to be enough for them to even listen to. One time a judge told me that I should stop taking the kids for fast food and present something more nutritional even though I told him after I was accused of taking them to fast food all the time by my ex that I cook for them every day. How and what do I present to a judge so that they can listen and not just hear what I am telling them?

What's the best 50/50 custody arrangement? I've been told that some ask for weekly exchange on Tuesdays so that the children have time to plan for school events later in the week. How do summer and holidays work? Are they the same. I'm looking for the best and highest rated absolute solution for this. My youngest is 9 so I need this to be iron clad and tested.

 

[CTU]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Austin, Texas (Travis County)

I currently have 45/55 expanded state custody and pay $1700 a month in child support (includes insurance premium) for 3 children.

I am looking for advice on getting 50/50 custody and a reduced child support. My ex-wife remarried immediately after the divorce and I recently moved in with my fiance. I've asked for 50/50 since before the divorce, but my lawyer and I at the time were constantly on the defense from a barrage of unsubstantiated accusations from my ex's high priced lawyer. In the end we agreed to 45/55 expanded custody and full child support as well as monthly insurance premiums for the children (joint-conservators).

I have very little residual funds because my last lawyer advised me to move as close to the Austin neighborhood where the kids were in schools and into a comparable home as they were in before the divorce, even though I could barely afford it. As soon as I moved into the old neighborhood my ex moved the kids from their schools (Summitt Elementary neighborhood) without notice to me to a far corner of Travis County (Lago Vista). I barely make ends meet each month with the increased expenses of traveling and added daycare. I was counting on my position of working from home and the kids busing home to me from a local school to compensate for the increased expense of moving into the more expensive neighborhood/home. I cannot afford to live in Lago Vista as I travel to Austin locations sometimes for my work and the commute from a home office and other local amenities is too taxing for me and the kids. Its been hard, but I've fired the last lawyer that gave me this advice and asked me to gamble so that I could ask for 50/50. For a couple years now I managed to stay at the income I am at and within the expenses I currently have and still have not missed any possessions. I've also managed to fight off a false enforcement charge from my ex and her attempt to take the kids from me as her request to be sole conservator.

I'm looking for my next steps and possibly a better and more experienced lawyer that can help me with getting 50/50 custody. I am looking for a less confrontational agreement with my ex and her husband so that the kids have a more balanced life with both parents. What is your advice about this?

I've been told that I shouldn't ask for child support reduction in the hearing I request for 50/50 custody. My ex and I make about the same amount of income so I have been told by some of my friends in neighboring counties that the judge will probably offset child support. What is your advice about this?

Should I ask for a GAL (Guardian ad litem) to be appointed so they can determine what is in the best interest of the children? I've heard from friends in Williamson county that a GAL is automatically appointed in cases like mine, and sometimes the GAL never even interviews the plaintiff party. Should I ask for one and what does a GAL supposed to do and provide to the court?

What are the best points to present what's in the best interest of our children? I already attend as many extracurricular activities as I can and for example I cook for them every day, work with each of them on making sure their school work and projects are completed on time, and even trim their finger and toe nails every week I have them. I can present countless facts like this as evidence I am a responsible father, but I am looking for advice to help me in court as these do not seem to be enough for them to even listen to. One time a judge told me that I should stop taking the kids for fast food and present something more nutritional even though I told him after I was accused of taking them to fast food all the time by my ex that I cook for them every day. How and what do I present to a judge so that they can listen and not just hear what I am telling them?

What's the best 50/50 custody arrangement? I've been told that some ask for weekly exchange on Tuesdays so that the children have time to plan for school events later in the week. How do summer and holidays work? Are they the same. I'm looking for the best and highest rated absolute solution for this. My youngest is 9 so I need this to be iron clad and tested.

How will you manage to get the children back and forth to school? You're currently around what, 40 miles away from their school?

How many more overnights will that give you?

And seriously, STOP getting "legal" advice from your friends. Really.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Austin, Texas (Travis County)

I currently have 45/55 expanded state custody and pay $1700 a month in child support (includes insurance premium) for 3 children.

I am looking for advice on getting 50/50 custody and a reduced child support. My ex-wife remarried immediately after the divorce and I recently moved in with my fiance. I've asked for 50/50 since before the divorce, but my lawyer and I at the time were constantly on the defense from a barrage of unsubstantiated accusations from my ex's high priced lawyer. In the end we agreed to 45/55 expanded custody and full child support as well as monthly insurance premiums for the children (joint-conservators).

I have very little residual funds because my last lawyer advised me to move as close to the Austin neighborhood where the kids were in schools and into a comparable home as they were in before the divorce, even though I could barely afford it. As soon as I moved into the old neighborhood my ex moved the kids from their schools (Summitt Elementary neighborhood) without notice to me to a far corner of Travis County (Lago Vista). I barely make ends meet each month with the increased expenses of traveling and added daycare. I was counting on my position of working from home and the kids busing home to me from a local school to compensate for the increased expense of moving into the more expensive neighborhood/home. I cannot afford to live in Lago Vista as I travel to Austin locations sometimes for my work and the commute from a home office and other local amenities is too taxing for me and the kids. Its been hard, but I've fired the last lawyer that gave me this advice and asked me to gamble so that I could ask for 50/50. For a couple years now I managed to stay at the income I am at and within the expenses I currently have and still have not missed any possessions. I've also managed to fight off a false enforcement charge from my ex and her attempt to take the kids from me as her request to be sole conservator.

I'm looking for my next steps and possibly a better and more experienced lawyer that can help me with getting 50/50 custody. I am looking for a less confrontational agreement with my ex and her husband so that the kids have a more balanced life with both parents. What is your advice about this?

I've been told that I shouldn't ask for child support reduction in the hearing I request for 50/50 custody. My ex and I make about the same amount of income so I have been told by some of my friends in neighboring counties that the judge will probably offset child support. What is your advice about this?

Should I ask for a GAL (Guardian ad litem) to be appointed so they can determine what is in the best interest of the children? I've heard from friends in Williamson county that a GAL is automatically appointed in cases like mine, and sometimes the GAL never even interviews the plaintiff party. Should I ask for one and what does a GAL supposed to do and provide to the court?

What are the best points to present what's in the best interest of our children? I already attend as many extracurricular activities as I can and for example I cook for them every day, work with each of them on making sure their school work and projects are completed on time, and even trim their finger and toe nails every week I have them. I can present countless facts like this as evidence I am a responsible father, but I am looking for advice to help me in court as these do not seem to be enough for them to even listen to. One time a judge told me that I should stop taking the kids for fast food and present something more nutritional even though I told him after I was accused of taking them to fast food all the time by my ex that I cook for them every day. How and what do I present to a judge so that they can listen and not just hear what I am telling them?

What's the best 50/50 custody arrangement? I've been told that some ask for weekly exchange on Tuesdays so that the children have time to plan for school events later in the week. How do summer and holidays work? Are they the same. I'm looking for the best and highest rated absolute solution for this. My youngest is 9 so I need this to be iron clad and tested.

What is your actual timeshare now? Not the percentage but the exact schedule?

 

[teej73]

How will you manage to get the children back and forth to school? You're currently around what, 40 miles away from their school?

How many more overnights will that give you?

And seriously, STOP getting "legal" advice from your friends. Really.

I will manage getting the kids to and from school the same way I did for the past couple years. I am 21 miles away from their schools and it takes about 30-45 minutes to get there from my home. It actually takes me less time to take them to school from my home than when they take the bus from their mother's house in Lago Vista.

From current custody to weekly it would give the kids about 3-4 extra overnights on average more per month. This includes summer and school year. The point of going to 50/50 is to give the kids structure and stability instead of them asking every time we have them when they will see us next. Even with a calendar I provide them their mother throws it away so they have no idea what days except every Thursday during the school year.

 

[CTU]

I will manage getting the kids to and from school the same way I did for the past couple years. I am 21 miles away from their schools and it takes about 30-45 minutes to get there from my home. It actually takes me less time to take them to school from my home than when they take the bus from their mother's house in Lago Vista.

From current custody to weekly it would give the kids about 3-4 extra overnights on average more per month. This includes summer and school year. The point of going to 50/50 is to give the kids structure and stability instead of them asking every time we have them when they will see us next. Even with a calendar I provide them their mother throws it away so they have no idea what days except every Thursday during the school year.

Please explain how 3 extra overnights per month will fix the "stability" issue.

And who is "we"?

 

[CJane]

Uh, your youngest is 9, and "they" can't figure out what schedule y'all are on?

What schedule ARE you on? I sincerely doubt that the days are just randomly dispersed throughout the month.

 

[Ohiogal]

I am going to guess that this is about money and not time. Would you still want 50/50 for stability if you didn't get a deduction in child support?

 

[CJane]

I typed up a SUPER GREAT post, and it was eaten by the ether. So, the sweetened condensed version...

50/50 SOUNDS good on paper. It sucks more every year as the kids age. It's going to suck EVEN MORE when you're 40 miles from their hometown. Facilitating sports, academic activities, social engagements, etc is hard enough when the kids live with you full time. It's even harder every other week.

Texas doesn't automatically reduce child support based on timeshare regardless of the % of the split. The judge has some leeway to go ahead and reduce it, but it would be a tough sell in an initial determination. It's going to be an even tougher sell in a modification. Imagine, if you will, what the judge is going to hear when you say "I will have the children 3 more days/month, and should therefore pay 1/2 the child support I currently pay"... it's not going to sound good, I guarantee you.

It is vanishingly rare for a judge to order 50/50 over the objections of one of the parents. Convincing a judge that it's in the children's best interests to do so is a huge hurdle. And "I cook real food and trim their toenails" isn't going to get you there. In fact, I'd just leave the bit about their toenails out of it.

 

[CTU]

I'm looking for the best and highest rated absolute solution for this. My youngest is 9 so I need this to be iron clad and tested.

I'd like you to explain this part, please.

 

[Just Blue]

I'd like you to explain this part, please.

I would as well...

 

[adjusterjack]

'm looking for the best and highest rated absolute solution for this. My youngest is 9 so I need this to be iron clad and tested.

There is no such thing and you are delusional if you think it's ever going to happen.

 

[LdiJ]

I typed up a SUPER GREAT post, and it was eaten by the ether. So, the sweetened condensed version...

50/50 SOUNDS good on paper. It sucks more every year as the kids age. It's going to suck EVEN MORE when you're 40 miles from their hometown. Facilitating sports, academic activities, social engagements, etc is hard enough when the kids live with you full time. It's even harder every other week.

Texas doesn't automatically reduce child support based on timeshare regardless of the % of the split. The judge has some leeway to go ahead and reduce it, but it would be a tough sell in an initial determination. It's going to be an even tougher sell in a modification. Imagine, if you will, what the judge is going to hear when you say "I will have the children 3 more days/month, and should therefore pay 1/2 the child support I currently pay"... it's not going to sound good, I guarantee you.

It is vanishingly rare for a judge to order 50/50 over the objections of one of the parents. Convincing a judge that it's in the children's best interests to do so is a huge hurdle. And "I cook real food and trim their toenails" isn't going to get you there. In fact, I'd just leave the bit about their toenails out of it.

He actually alluded to child support going away entirely. He said that he and mom have similar incomes.

 

[CJane]

He actually alluded to child support going away entirely. He said that he and mom have similar incomes.

Oh, I know he did. But I can't imagine even a 50% reduction would happen for a 5% increase in time share, let alone total eradication of child support.

As an example, Missouri allows for a deviation in child support for an NCP whose overnights exceed 109. The percentage of deviation is up to the judge, but there is a maximum deviation allowed by statute. That maximum is 50%. In a state with no built in allowance for a time share deviation? I can't imagine they'd wipe out CS altogether.

If the parent obligated to pay support is or has been awarded periods of overnight visitation or custody of more than 109 days per year, the adjustment for that parent may be greater than 10% up to a maximum of 50%. In such cases, use an appropriate custom percentage.

 

[stealth2]

Uh, your youngest is 9, and "they" can't figure out what schedule y'all are on?

I was trying to figure out how 9+yo children are not able to clip finger/toe nails...

 

[SESmama]

We used to use my son's school agenda for the parenting time so he would always know. That was until hid dad stopped calling/seeing/checking on him. Now in high school he doesn't even use the agenda but it is a great way to TEACH THE KIDS how to manage time.