Asking Me to Lie

[OhWhatADay]

What is the name of your state? MD

My husband and I have been going through some pretty ugly things for a while now. The most recent episode... He said he's going to file and have me served at work. He's refusing to pay bills that have already accumulated (2 months on phone/internet and 2 months on gas/electricity). Said he will pay no more in the future. He is still in the house. Came home at 2AM (again) and wanted to 'talk' (translation: argue). Said he is going to file so that he can go on with his life and I can go on with mine. Said he hasn't cheated and doesn't want to -- nor does he want to wait 12 months for the process to be completed. Wants me to agree that we were already separated. Told him I'm not lying. He got aggitated. As I tried to drift back off to sleep, he walked over and smacked his hand on the bed next to my head which scared me to death. Told me if I don't cooperate he's going to make me pay. I already know he's a liar, so I don't doubt it.

What would you recommend / do?

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state? MD

My husband and I have been going through some pretty ugly things for a while now. The most recent episode... He said he's going to file and have me served at work. He's refusing to pay bills that have already accumulated (2 months on phone/internet and 2 months on gas/electricity). Said he will pay no more in the future. He is still in the house. Came home at 2AM (again) and wanted to 'talk' (translation: argue). Said he is going to file so that he can go on with his life and I can go on with mine. Said he hasn't cheated and doesn't want to -- nor does he want to wait 12 months for the process to be completed. Wants me to agree that we were already separated. Told him I'm not lying. He got aggitated. As I tried to drift back off to sleep, he walked over and smacked his hand on the bed next to my head which scared me to death. Told me if I don't cooperate he's going to make me pay. I already know he's a liar, so I don't doubt it.

What would you recommend / do?

Pay your bills.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? MD

My husband and I have been going through some pretty ugly things for a while now. The most recent episode... He said he's going to file and have me served at work. He's refusing to pay bills that have already accumulated (2 months on phone/internet and 2 months on gas/electricity). Said he will pay no more in the future. He is still in the house. Came home at 2AM (again) and wanted to 'talk' (translation: argue). Said he is going to file so that he can go on with his life and I can go on with mine. Said he hasn't cheated and doesn't want to -- nor does he want to wait 12 months for the process to be completed. Wants me to agree that we were already separated. Told him I'm not lying. He got aggitated. As I tried to drift back off to sleep, he walked over and smacked his hand on the bed next to my head which scared me to death. Told me if I don't cooperate he's going to make me pay. I already know he's a liar, so I don't doubt it.

What would you recommend / do?

Go get yourself a consult with an attorney ASAP. If he does anything else that smacks of violence, get a restraining order.

 

[OhWhatADay]

Thank You Both!. We have been going to counseling and I asked him to deal with his anger. He tells me he doesn't have a problem - but he does. He keeps playing this good guy / bad guy routine. He cuses me out at night, then calls me in the morning to ask if I made it to work ok and to ask what I'm going to do to salvage the marriage. He did that today and I told him that I'm trying to survive - I have no idea what to do about the marriage. He's been moving things out of the house, told me he's moving his things out but he's not moving out, wears his ring on his right hand because he feels like he's not married, refuses to pay the bills, wants sex and isn't getting it which usually leads to a tirade, comes home late at night and wants me to stop complaining about it. The list goes on and on. I told him he's done everything but leave - so go ahead and serve me...