Attorney Wavering - Who's Side Is He On?

[Swany]

What is the name of your state? Ca

I have a court date in two weeks - taking my ex of 8 years, to court for Support Contempt. 8 Counts. ($12,000 in Support owed) This is the second time I've done this....last year on the court date, I was handed a check by him to cover what he owed.....I've had my attorney for all of the 8 years to help handle whatever comes up with my ex, which has been many things. This history is too long....So, back in July 04 when I spoke to my attorney about filing this Contempt, he showed a bit of hesitation due to my "ex's circumstances..." However, after 8 years of dealing with my ex, my attorney should understand all that has transpired and be on MY side and not be sympathetic towards him. No matter what the circumstances. My ex has pulled so many things and has been sactioned by the court many times for his behavior. So, when my attorney expressed some hesitation towards the Contempt, I asked if it was because of what the Judge might think....and he most definitly said no. The Judge WILL NOT care whatsoever of his circumstances....Judge "G" is not sympathetic towards theses things that your ex is going through. So, I said, okay, proceed.....(Circumstances are this....ex moved to Texas one year ago...brought along his business with him - hiding it under his wifes name to I couldn't find out, claims he's not doing well...filed Chapter 13 recently and put my support on the claim....his wife had a brain turmor that was detected in the end of July...therefore, nothing to do with his lack of payment - it was benign and is doing fine now....just some history here)....So we proceed, he gets served. The ex's attorney sends a message to my attorney asking for it to be "continued..." My attorney said no.....So now, my attorney and I are discussing issues and he now asks me AGAIN, if I'm sure I want to go though with this Contempt because it might send my EX over the edge....his exact words. My ex has been over the edge for years....this all is nothing new to my attorney or me. So I ask if it's because of what he feels for my ex or if it's what the Judge will think.....remember I asked this earlier in July....and NOW he's saying that it's because ...quote....but I know that his circumstances are going to have an impact on our judge, and possibly our
chances of success on October 26....unquote.....Now, what in the world am I to think of this??? Why didn't he tell me this back in July when we started this whole thing? Quite honestly, I think something is up, but I cannot begin to think what. I have a call into him as well as a response to his email, but wondered if anyone out there could give me a clue as to how to know when you're attorney is messing with you and why would he want to? What should my questions be to him?

Thank you for your suggestions.....

 

[nextwife]

his wife had a brain turmor that was detected in the end of July...therefore, nothing to do with his lack of payment - it was benign and is doing fine now .

This is not a comment of your legal situation, just an FYI on brain tumors.

Don't for a minute believe that a so-called "benign" tumor inside the skull cannot kill you. My dad died from a "benign tumor" in the brain. Benign means it is not a type that will metastasize and go to other parts of the body. If the entire tumor was not able to be removed (and brain tumors are often difficult to dig around and get out because of the damage such surgery causes, it can grow back, and within the closed confines of the skull, cause death.

 

[Swany]

Thank you Nextwife on your tumor information. However, despite the fact that a tumor exsist in this situation, my children exsist as well. My ex is still responsible for paying his support. I would enjoy hearing anyone's thoughts on what my attorney is doing at this point.

 

[djohnson]

Also, the procedures and Dr visits leading up to finding it and now are quite costly. I understand you need child support, but it doesn't sound like now would be the great time to go after it. Where I could feel for the rest of your situation, this makes you come across as cold and wanting to just beat a dead horse. It could always hurt you in the long run. Do you NEED the money that badly right now? How much is your attorney charging you?

This is not legally, you can take him to court and technically be on the side of right. Sometimes though, it's better to be wrong, this sounds like one of them.

 

[Swany]

Thank you Djohnson for your comments. I am aware that these things are quite costly. Insurance has paid for the entire deal. She's a full-time working person with health insurance. So, like my other email said, I'm aware of tumor information, however, the non-payment has been going on for years really. We're talking about a dad that talks to his kids once a month for 3 minutes each....forgets that it's actually been a month since he's spoken with them, forgets the things they tell him about their life, doesn't call on birthdays and cancels visits almost each and every time about a week beforehand leaving my children feeling helpless that their dad actually seems to forget about them. This is a man who's had three daycare providers quit because of his harrassment. This is a person who exaggerates to the fullest to get his way and a person who's lied to the court about his business saying he'd be working for a company making $60,000 a year with a signing bonus after 90 days....the company I found out is owned by his wife....who's working full-time at a different regular place of business. This is a business that was carried over to where he now lives and he and I started TOGETHER and wanted to hide if from me so he wouldn't have to pay the support he would normally have to pay.....even now after the court found out about this, still no support. I will be selling one of our cars to help pay for stuff in our family....we'll be buying an older model with no monthly payment. We live with no CCs and no debt, and know that since no $ is coming in for the girls, we'll have to make ends meet somehow. Anyways, thanks for listening and I'll refrain from sharing detailed information here and stick to the point in the future.

 

[VeronicaGia]

Support at this point will only be based on what he is earning. He will have to prove what he is earning, and I'm sure your attorney has asked for all pertinent documents.

If this is a legitimate business and he gets paid a salary that can be proved with pay stubs, W-2's and tax returns, there's not much else that can be done.

No one can tell you what a judge will decide. A judge may decide to put the guy in jail which would defeat your purpose.

In the end, you should simply call your attorney, tell him/her to be straight with you and take it from there. Then after this, I'd consider a new attorney.

 

[Swany]

THANK YOU Veronica! I appreciate your comments. Since posting this post, I've spoken to my attorney-he actually called me -what a miracle. Which, believe me, I've thought about changing at several points in our 8 year relationship.....the $ and him knowing our history just keep me going back to him I guess.

He tells me honestly that he's afraid that my ex is going to go over the edge, as one of his clients ex's did about 6 months ago and took his life. So, apparently that is his concerns. We discussed all the angles and all the facts and he says he now feels better about things and knows we should go forward. SO, my point now being, my attorney is supposed to think about ME and my CHILDREN. Not my ex and what his reactions might be. I'm letting it lie right now and we'll see what happens. However, I've heard through the grapevine of sort that California doesn't throw deadbeat dad's into jail any longer even when there are multiple counts of contempt. Apparently, the jail system just can't afford it. So, I just wait and see if the Judge just slaps his hands. Thank you all for your comments.

 

[VeronicaGia]

THANK YOU Veronica! I appreciate your comments. Since posting this post, I've spoken to my attorney-he actually called me -what a miracle. Which, believe me, I've thought about changing at several points in our 8 year relationship.....the $ and him knowing our history just keep me going back to him I guess.

He tells me honestly that he's afraid that my ex is going to go over the edge, as one of his clients ex's did about 6 months ago and took his life. So, apparently that is his concerns. We discussed all the angles and all the facts and he says he now feels better about things and knows we should go forward. SO, my point now being, my attorney is supposed to think about ME and my CHILDREN. Not my ex and what his reactions might be. I'm letting it lie right now and we'll see what happens. However, I've heard through the grapevine of sort that California doesn't throw deadbeat dad's into jail any longer even when there are multiple counts of contempt. Apparently, the jail system just can't afford it. So, I just wait and see if the Judge just slaps his hands. Thank you all for your comments.

Six months to a year ago, a man in San Diego county killed himself on the courthouse steps after family court. With all the lawyers in CA, your lawyer probably isn't involved, but doesn't want someone's life on his conscience. And while male suicide is up, you can't really base your life on whether or not he would do something like this.

As far as jail, I'm adamantly against it for this, but that's just IMHO. I think it defeats the purpose, costs kids more, costs taxpayers more and clogs the wheels of justice.

Glad you're going ahead with it.