Back child support if support was never established..

[MommaChelle]

I currently live in Pennsylvania, and obtained my divorce from my ex husband in 1990 in the state of New Jersey where I was residing at the time. Child support and alimony issues where to remain "active" as listed on my divorce decree , but was never established, therefore, I never collected.

This is my question: My ex and I have become close friends and he is now very involved with my daughter. He would like to put my daughter on his health insurance. However, I was given sole custody and guardianship of her at the timeof the divorce because he did not show up in court. If I go to court to willingly allow some sort of visitation or joint custody so the insurance doesn't question him adding her, will he be hit for back child support? I know he would never be able to pay what he owes in back, but if I told the judge I was willing to accept it from here on in and have no wish to collect past, will they go for that? In other words we would like to set up child support from here on in with visitation/custody rights. I am just concerned he will get in trouble for the 10 years past, even though payments were never established. And can we use the same lawyer or do we even need one?

Momma Chelle

 

[usmcfamily]

Mama Chelle~
I have worked in the insurance administration department of an international company for two years and we have LOTS of NCP's who enroll their children for coverage without court order and without having to be a custodial parent. As long as the parent can prove the child is biologically theirs (ie birth cert, etc) they are eligible for coverage - regardless of who is custodian/guardian. On a personal note, I am sole custodial of my daughter and her father could carry her on his insurance any time he wants (has been asked by him emp. if he wants to more than once)....he just chooses not to -- so see, it can be done!
If you are willing to allow visitaion and the relationship is amiable between you there is no reason for you to go back to court to amend anything. Your ex, however, may be wise to pursue a court order on the matter as if the relationship between the two of you changes (gets ugly) you would be able to deny him access to the child. Not saying you would, but if he is concerned about that eventuality it would be in his interest to pursue it legally. As the sole custodial you are able to allow him as much/little visitation as you want until there is a court order stating otherwise -- the fact that the two of you have been able to come to this current arrangement is very refreshing! The support issue is tricky - were you or have you been at any point of the child's life on assistance? If so, your husband will have to pay back the amount you received -- if not you may be willing to stipulate no back support collection if you both state that that is your desire......or you could always turn around and pay him back if they do force the issue -- simply keep the amount that would cover his current payment and return all that would be considered paying arrearages. The state can make him pay, but they can't make you keep it.

 

[MommaChelle]

Am thinking joint legal custody?

I just read on article on joint legal so he has some authority in medical, police, or other areas. He is moving near me with his family from across country, but will still be 3 hours away. So if something happens to my daughter my concern is they have to wait 3 hours for me to get there to treat her? And yes I was on support for about a year, if even that, and he paid them nothing. It was in a different state, so I guess they will find that out. So as I understand it, if we go to court for joint legal, they might go after him for support, or at least to pay back the assistance? Thanks