Basis for Full Custody?

[Venom03]

What is the name of your state? Wisconsin

I would like to hear some opinions from people more experienced in family law about my case.

My girlfriend and I of 4.5 years just broke up, we had a son in May 2002. For the past 3.5 years she has not worked. Here is a little background on her. She doesn't drive, althought I've told her 1000 times she needs to learn to drive because I'm sick of doing all the shopping, running around, etc.. She refuses to work and is a high school dropout.
I have a good job, a nice apartment in a good neighborhood, transporation, and most imporantly a place for my son to live where he has his own room, bed, furniture etc....
She has moved in with a friend, where she still doesn't work, doesn't pay any bills, lives with her friend, her friends husbands (who is a convicted felon), and their 1.5 year old son. And 2 very large dogs. In my opinion this is NO place for my son to be living, but she believes she has equal right to keep him at least half of the time.
My now ex-girlfriend thinks because she's home all day she is the one that should be watching him. I have very understanding parents and my father is home all day so he has been watching him for me on and off recently.
I am going for primary placement and she can have visitations 1 night a week and every other weekend. I think that's fair because she needs to get on her feet and get a place to live if she wants him to be with her more often, where she lives now is no place for him to get accustom to.
Now.., here comes the kicker. While he was in her care the other day she was sleeping and he woke up (around 8am). I guess normally he just wakes her up, but he didn't. In my opinion she should be up by 8am anyways, but that has never been the case. So what happened is that he opened her purse, got into some of her anxity pills and ate them. She woke up and saw them on the ground and rushed him to the emergency room. Luckly the pills arn't extremly serious and after he threw up for a few hours and recovered from the effects of the pills he is now completly fine. This lack of care makes me wonder if it's a basis to get full custody?

Any opinions would be appreciated. Thank you,

 

[stealth2]

Aaaah yes... Another case of "s/he was good enough to screw, but s/he isn't good enough to parent the kid." WTF IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!?!

Okay, now that I have that out of my system.... You either knew how she is when you made a baby with her or you decided it wasn't important enough to get to know her before making a baby with her. So quit complaining about how she's not fit to parent the child the both of you made.

Okay, the pill situation is troublesome, but if it was a one-time event and she has corrected the problem - it's not going to be enough to deem her unfit. My son burned his hand badly when he grabbed the exhaust of my ex's bike - accidents happen to the best of us.

Beyond that, you've posted nothing that renders Mom unfit to end up with less than joint custody.

 

[all4daddysgirl]

First of all has custody been established? If not then it needs to be. Also, if it has not then you will not need to prove her unfit. The judge/ GAL if appointed will decide where the child will be better off. Which, very well maybe your home. I advise that you not go to court and ramble on about how terrible she is but how you could provide for the child. Also, since you have the transportation how you could transpot the child to and from visitation. Please remember this woman is the child's mother and deserves more than you suggested. You may not like her living conditions but that does not matter. Offer her ev. other weekend, one night during the week, every other holiday, weeks during summer etc. Stress to the judge that you intend to do whatever it takes to continue to support your child and the bond that he/she has with their mother. It might be a hard fight but can happen.

 

[Venom03]

I don't appreciate your comments about her being good enough to screw but not being fit to be a mother. We had a good relationship for several years, but her lack of motovation to help provide support for our family is the reason our relationship turned troublesome.

Regardless, whatever happened in the past has nothing to do with what should happen now. I've lived up to my responsibilites of providing for my son, she has done nothing.

 

[stealth2]

I don't appreciate your comments about her being good enough to screw but not being fit to be a mother.

Oh well. I'm not Oprah, and I'm not Dr. Phil. You're going to need more to gain more than joint custody.

 

[Venom03]

Oh well. I'm not Oprah, and I'm not Dr. Phil. You're going to need more to gain more than joint custody.

Ok... thank you, that's all I was asking.

 

[sirxamiel]

I don't appreciate your comments about her being good enough to screw but not being fit to be a mother. We had a good relationship for several years, but her lack of motovation to help provide support for our family is the reason our relationship turned troublesome.

Regardless, whatever happened in the past has nothing to do with what should happen now. I've lived up to my responsibilites of providing for my son, she has done nothing.

Well, first of all, you came here for advice. Sometimes your not going to like what you hear. But, like stealth said, we are not oprah, nor dr phil, although, I would LOVE to be Jerry Springer(lucky devil)heh heh.....We have heard it all, and most of us is, or have been, in similar situations. We just give the best possible advice that we know. We may not always be correct, but we will tell you the truth, no matter how harsh it may be. We dont tell lies here. Some people may not want to hear what we say, but its rather you hear what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

 

[singlemomof4]

kids

kids that age can and will put anything they get ahold of in their mouths.the mom should put her purse somewhere where her son cant get ahold of it.are the dogs the dangerous type,like rotweillers or pit bulls? i dont think dogs like that should be around young children,they can and have been known to attack without being provoked.if the dogs do bite the child,the mom will have to make a choice,get rid of the dogs,or possibly lose custody of the child.i hope she will choose the child,if she has any sense,she will.