Been told I'm the Father

[IgnorantWT]

What is the name of your state? oh
I've just been told that my ex-girlfriend is pregnant. She claims it's mine. I don't believe her because of her reputation, but there is a chance.
I'm totally confused.
#1- I do not wish to give any financial support to her while she carries the baby because I have no proof it is mine, so am I legally obligated to or can she get me to anyway.
#2- Can the court get me to pay some type of pregnancy retribution if I am the father?
#3-Because she told me "I'm the one", is there any way that I can legally document or use past occurences against her to show that she is a negligible parent? This sounds petty and disgusting, but this is why I split with her. She has to sons,14 & 12. The oldest is in juv. detention for a year. She is constantly drinking and has a nasty reputation in social rings, which of course I can't prove. She has been evicted from her residence with a debt of $3,000 and hasn't paid, but somehow got a new place. There are lots of reasons why I wish her not to raise the child, but I fear that simply because I'm a man that has never had kids and do not plan to marry this woman, that I'll simply become a child support paycheck for this harlot! Yes, I also don't like her.
What can I do to protect the fetal prospect and prepare myself in case the child is mine?

 

[MammaBear76]

??

If you thought or knew all of this. . why would you put yourself in a position to procreate with her?

We all have a choice. . it's when we choose to exercise that choice that matters.

 

[nextwife]

Damn! She's pregnant and she's drinking? She may very well be prenatally abusing this child to the point where they may need lifetime support. I know families who are parenting fas/fae kids from eastern europe whose biomom did that to them. The damage is irreversable. Do something! Stop the dang drinking until she delivers. This so infuriates me because the damage is so unnecessary and unfair.

 

[IgnorantWT]

The damage has been done. Like many relationships you find out the bad sometimes when it's too late. I left her not knowing she might be pregnant. When I was with her, I wanted her to bear my seed. Then you find out things. Then you split. A few months go by and "Oh, by the way, your a daddy!" We both didn't know. She feels sick and takes a test. She blames me.

It's an old story. I didn't really CHOOSE it. So, no, I didn't know it. I knew after a why that she was no good. So, I left.


Back to the legal points. What can I do?

 

[IgnorantWT]

Nextwife
I took a little action into my hands but came up short. I belong to a national social/drinking club that almost everyone has heard of. I went in to try and let the bartenders know that she is pregnant and should not be served. They can't stop it!
Can you believe it!

They told me of an 8 monthed woman that ordered drinks there. None of the bartenders wanted to serve her but had to. The idea is that since it's a private club and the serve people with liver damage and who come in with oxygen tanks, they can serve pregnagt women.
I too would wish to see this stopped but it would not stop the pregger to drink someplace else. Just like a drug abuser.

 

[shuga24]

go to collections .com it will tell you eveything you need to know

 

[Lil Miss Smarty Panties]

1.) You do not have to provide any kind of financial support to her while she is pregnant. You won't have to provide any kind of financial support until this child is proven yours via DNA testing that you will ask for through the court.

2.) Yes, if she is receiving prenatal care through welfare.

3.) Start documenting and retain a lawyer when the time comes.

 

[nextwife]

The difference if that the adult on oxygen is making an informed choice and "consenting" to the potential damage. The developing fetus is being forced to consume a product that will damage their development and never allow them a chance to be what they otherwise could be, and given no choice. In my book, this ruthless disregard of the welfare of the child should immediately disqualify her to parent he/she.

Man, fertility is wasted on the wrong people!

 

[Lil Miss Smarty Panties]

ain't that the truth!

I don't remember who it is but there is a regular poster on here who tried to turn her sister in to the police for smoking crack while pregnant. They told her that it wasn't against the law to smoke crack while pregnant.

 

[nextwife]

FYI- if she does a thorough enough job damaging this baby, and they end up with a lifetime disability, your child support will NEVER stop.

Suggest you force her to read up on FAS/FAE, and get on some support lists that parents who are dealing with the impacts of this are on to see what she is really doing to this kid. It's disgusting that she has the legal right to abuse this child and damage them that way.

http://www.arbi.org/
http://www.lcsc.edu/education/fas/FAS.html
http://specialchildren.about.com/cs/fasfae/
http://www.betterendings.org/MOFAS/strategies.htm

 

[IgnorantWT]

Lil Miss S. P.

#2- What if she's not on welfare (ohio)? any other way.
#3- can this documentation really be used? I feel like some dirty stalker to say that I'd do it simply because of the cahnce that it is mine, but What she does with her body and who she hangs with is her business, right? Wouldn't it be like me wanted to raise the child a certain way but court ordered not to have any say? Wouldn't the comments I make be hearsay and not proovable ( for lack of better misspelled word) and possible slanderous? How could I document anything and what SHOULD I document?


New question- Do you know how I can obtain the formulas to Ohio's parental visition/ legal custody rights/chld financial support lists? I read in the general info that each state has calculatedformulas for such thingsand I was wondering how I could be effected?

 

[IgnorantWT]

I'm living up to my name here, shuga.

Where do I get this FAS/FAE info? I don't know what it is?

 

[Lil Miss Smarty Panties]

If she's not on Welfare then most likely there will only be support issued from the time of birth or the time of filing for support.


Go to these sites and look into the support/visitation statutes for Ohio.

http://ocse3.acf.dhhs.gov/ext/irg/sps/selectastate.cfm


www.deltabravo.net

delta bravo is an excellent reference site for dads. Just about everything imaginable can be found there.

 

[nextwife]

http://www.taconic.net/seminars/fas-a.html

"FACTS ABOUT FAS/FAE
The Preventable Birth Defect
Did you know that ?????

FAS is the leading known cause of mental retardation.
FAS/FAE produces irreversible physical and mental damage.
Behavioral problems of FAE children can be as severe as those of FAS children.
FAS/FAE crosses all socio-economic groups and effects all races.
Costs for one FAS child is estimated to be $2 million over a lifetime.
FAS/FAE costs the American taxpayer more than $321 million every year.
No amount of alcohol consumption during pregnancy is known to be safe.
Of FAE Individuals between the ages of 12 and 51:
95% will have mental health problems
55% will be confined in prison, drug or alcohol treatment centers or
a mental institution
60% will have "disrupted school experience"
60% will have trouble with the law
52% will exhibit inappropriate sexual behavior
Of FAE individuals between 21 and 51:
82% will not be able to live independently
70% will have problems with employment
More than 50% of males and 70% of females will have alcohol and
drug problems"

 

[IgnorantWT]

what about the financial formulas? How do that tabulate it ? any sites for that?