Best Interest of Child....

[pa_ak]

What is the name of your state? AK

After reading several threads, and seeing several of y'all post concerning individual states determinations of best interest and "bolding" the statement regarding the willingness of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close relationship with the other parent etc..., I am wondering how this applies when the NCP moves out of state prior to the divorce being finalized and then two years later, the CP moves out of state with the military. Per decree, CP has right to establish legal domicile and was told by atty who handled divorce CP could move to Timbuktu(?spelling) if desired and nothing NCP could do about it. Decree took place in TX.

Now NCP is (as I've said in previous thread) wanting residential custody to be transferred to him claiming CP never notified him per decree and the CP is attempting to alienate minor children from NCP. What actions are considered attempting to alienate children?

I totally understand what y'all were trying to say in the other posts but how would that apply in the case where the NCP moved across the country because he didn't want to be in the same city let alone state as CP. Also, would cards sent to the children by NCP stating "i know i haven't been in touch like i should. I've been really busy but that is no excuse. I've decided I want you to be a part of my life now.." help show the CP was not denying anything but the NCP was "too caught up in him" to be bothered?CP has, up until things started being returned because no current address (or email or phone), sent bday cards, father day cards, pics etc.

I apologize in advance if I should have posted this on the other thread but i'm trying to understand how a parent leaving and having no contact for 7 months, then 4 days contact, then rare contact for a year, then another 4 days contact be viewed when that parent is now asking to be granted residential custody.

 

[seniorjudge]

Keep all your posts in your original thread.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? AK

After reading several threads, and seeing several of y'all post concerning individual states determinations of best interest and "bolding" the statement regarding the willingness of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close relationship with the other parent etc..., I am wondering how this applies when the NCP moves out of state prior to the divorce being finalized and then two years later, the CP moves out of state with the military. Per decree, CP has right to establish legal domicile and was told by atty who handled divorce CP could move to Timbuktu(?spelling) if desired and nothing NCP could do about it. Decree took place in TX.

Now NCP is (as I've said in previous thread) wanting residential custody to be transferred to him claiming CP never notified him per decree and the CP is attempting to alienate minor children from NCP. What actions are considered attempting to alienate children?

I totally understand what y'all were trying to say in the other posts but how would that apply in the case where the NCP moved across the country because he didn't want to be in the same city let alone state as CP. Also, would cards sent to the children by NCP stating "i know i haven't been in touch like i should. I've been really busy but that is no excuse. I've decided I want you to be a part of my life now.." help show the CP was not denying anything but the NCP was "too caught up in him" to be bothered?CP has, up until things started being returned because no current address (or email or phone), sent bday cards, father day cards, pics etc.

I apologize in advance if I should have posted this on the other thread but i'm trying to understand how a parent leaving and having no contact for 7 months, then 4 days contact, then rare contact for a year, then another 4 days contact be viewed when that parent is now asking to be granted residential custody.

Answer to the bolded q: VERY poorly. Don't worry, okay?

It's not the same as if they were all in the same area and then the CP decided to move away with kids. He can surely decide to try to re-enter the children's lives, and it is good if he does -- he is their father, for good or ill. But residential custody? He's high.

 

[pa_ak]

again, I apologize for the new thread. since i am new here and it was a totally different aspect, i posted the new thread. sorry for the "faux paux" in protocol/etiquette.

thank you silverplum for your comments.

 

[LdiJ]

Answer to the bolded q: VERY poorly. Don't worry, okay?

It's not the same as if they were all in the same area and then the CP decided to move away with kids. He can surely decide to try to re-enter the children's lives, and it is good if he does -- he is their father, for good or ill. But residential custody? He's high.

But even if he is high...that doesn't mean that he won't attempt to pursue it...and it doesn't mean that you can be lackadaisical in your defense. You still have to properly defend the case. Many parents who should have won cases "hands down" have lost because they thought that they could blow the case off....either because they were in another state or because they didn't have much money and didn't understand how important it was to defend themselves.

AK is going to end up with jurisdiction and you are going to retain primary custody unless you get stupid and don't properly handle the case. Which means that you have to keep the FL attorney until FL agrees that they don't have jurisdiction.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The key will be those weekly phone calls that HE is supposed to make. make sure the kids are available! Now that you have an address, have the kids draw a pretty picture AND mail them to him. You know ..l. make sure you look very rosy.

 

[pa_ak]

i am keeping the florida lawyer until then...she did send a letter to his ex stating she was happy to stipulate to move the visitation issues to alaska...and i do make sure the kids are available...whenever something comes up in their schedule, i let him know and give him an earlier time to call; last time i let him know about a new event he got ugly in the email so now i let it go through the lawyers.

would sending pics via email be helpful? i've tried to get the kids to write him letters or draw pics and they don't want to...the almost 10 year old is adamant against it and the almost 9 year old just says hi on the phone and gets off...both boys got a little upset when the ex sent them cards with pics showing him on a motorcycle...they looked at me and asked why he couldn't send them the things they asked for (i think it was some xBox game)but could buy himself a motorcycle? told them to ask him i didn't know...they have no desire to talk to him and the one letter the 10 year old wrote i won't send...he wrote it right after seeing the pics...as far as the almost 7 year old, she doesn't want a whole lot to do with him...

any other suggestions? and trust me, i am not going to sit back...that is why i'm probably driving y'all crazy with my questions and trying to make sure i do everything i can to get this taken care of...i had posted some questions on my other thread that no one has answered...should i repost them? any ideas?

i truly do appreciate all the insight i've gathered and a couple of y'all have brought great "joy" to my day with your quick wit...thanks so much...

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If the kids won't draw pictures or write letters, send some of their schoolwork ... make sure he gets copies of interim reports - and report cards. Make it look like you are trying to include him in their lives. It's very difficult to change custoday when you are doing EVERYTHING right

He has a very large hurdle to overcome with his disappearance act.

 

[pa_ak]

thanks for the info. I will do that now that i have an address. i will send some of their school papers and also i think interim reports are coming out in a week or so...we started school mid aug so i will also send those and they will get to him before the court hearing. thanks again for the info...

 

[pa_ak]

just wanted to let y'all know i emailed dh photos of the kids and also told him i had uploaded some video of them playing ball/cheering to youtube and gave him the url. i found it quite interesting today though when i had 9 yo call at 9:30 since he would have been in the middle of a boy scout activity at 10:00, dh wouldn't answer the phone. so i tried and he was quite the rude one...i handed the phone to 9 yo and let him talk...just found it quite fascinating he was so upset "i" was calling...and yes i did advise him about the cub scout thing but wasn't sure if he remembered and that is why i called him to avoid any perception of me not letting the kids talk...oh and i bcc'd my lawyer with the email so there is no ambiguity on what i did or didn't say...

y'all have been wonderful with all the advice and suggestions and i just wanted you to know how much it is all truly appreciated...thank you from the bottom of my heart...