Bio dad passed away, someone else listed as father on BC

[animachristi]

My four-year-old son's biological father passed away when he was a year old. He is not on the birth certificate. My current husband is listed as the father, which we arranged to protect my son because the biological father was talking and acting crazy. The biological father visited my son two or three times right after he was born, and then never saw him again. The issue now is the biological father's sister believes that my son is her nephew, and she wants to do an at-home paternity test. I have let her visit my son a couple of times, as we have remained on friendly terms. She wants to do the test to prove to her siblings that my son is their nephew. Part of me wants to let her do it. The other part of me is afraid they could try to use it against me somehow. I'm worried that if me and my husband were to pass away that they would try to get custody of him. My adult daughter and my son have a special relationship, and she has already said if anything ever happened to us, she would take my son. My question is, is there any reason I should not let the aunt do a paternity test?
Is there any way it could be used against me?

I was unmarried at the time of birth and left the birth certificate blank. I married and had my current husband added to it after I began receiving threatening texts. The bio father was talking crazy & passed away about 6 months later. He had every opportunity to see his son, but he only did about 3 times right after he was born. Heard nothing from him until I started receiving the crazy texts.

 

[Zigner]

You have no legal obligation to allow any paternity testing.

Poor kid - your lies will likely emotionally scar him and have negative effects on him for years to come.

 

[animachristi]

I know I don't have to let her, but I never wanted any of this, and she knows I did what I had to do to protect my son. You don't understand the whole situation, but thank you anyway for your reply. Btw, my son will know the truth as soon as he's old enough to understand. He is a very happy and healthy 4 yr old who adores the man who stepped up from the beginning.

 

[Zigner]

I know I don't have to let her, but I never wanted any of this, and she knows I did what I had to do to protect my son. You don't understand the whole situation, but thank you anyway for your reply. Btw, my son will know the truth as soon as he's old enough to understand. He is a very happy and healthy 4 yr old who adores the man who stepped up from the beginning.

I'm speaking from experience. My 4-year-old son was happy and healthy, but when he found out unexpectedly (at age 5) that "mom" was not really "mom", it was devastating for him. If only I had it to do over again, I would have done it much differrently.

 

[Ohiogal]

My four-year-old son's biological father passed away when he was a year old. He is not on the birth certificate. My current husband is listed as the father, which we arranged to protect my son because the biological father was talking and acting crazy. The biological father visited my son two or three times right after he was born, and then never saw him again. The issue now is the biological father's sister believes that my son is her nephew, and she wants to do an at-home paternity test. I have let her visit my son a couple of times, as we have remained on friendly terms. She wants to do the test to prove to her siblings that my son is their nephew. Part of me wants to let her do it. The other part of me is afraid they could try to use it against me somehow. I'm worried that if me and my husband were to pass away that they would try to get custody of him. My adult daughter and my son have a special relationship, and she has already said if anything ever happened to us, she would take my son. My question is, is there any reason I should not let the aunt do a paternity test?
Is there any way it could be used against me?

I was unmarried at the time of birth and left the birth certificate blank. I married and had my current husband added to it after I began receiving threatening texts. The bio father was talking crazy & passed away about 6 months later. He had every opportunity to see his son, but he only did about 3 times right after he was born. Heard nothing from him until I started receiving the crazy texts.

You committed fraud. HOW DARE YOU.

 

[xylene]

You would be a fool to allow this testing.

 

[Ohiogal]

I know I don't have to let her, but I never wanted any of this, and she knows I did what I had to do to protect my son. You don't understand the whole situation, but thank you anyway for your reply. Btw, my son will know the truth as soon as he's old enough to understand. He is a very happy and healthy 4 yr old who adores the man who stepped up from the beginning.

We understand that you LIED. You committed fraud. You tampered with a legal document with your lies. I wish states would start prosecuting people like you.

 

[animachristi]

I'm sorry. Maybe I should start introducing the idea to him now. I have pictures, etc. I loved his father, but mental illness reared its ugly head in the end.

 

[animachristi]

We understand that you LIED. You committed fraud. You tampered with a legal document with your lies. I wish states would start prosecuting people like you.

Yes. And I'd do it again to protect my son from physical danger...wouldn't you?

 

[Zigner]

I don't understand how lying about a child's parentage is "protecting" the child.

 

[Zigner]

Yes. And I'd do it again to protect my son from physical danger...wouldn't you?

Huh? The child's biological father KNEW he was the father. How could lying about this protect the child in any way?

ETA: In fact, I would say that it was more likely to put the child in MORE danger.

 

[xylene]

Plus, it isn't like mental illness isn't genetic...

Denial of paternity won't shield anybody from that.

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes. And I'd do it again to protect my son from physical danger...wouldn't you?

There were many things you could have done to protect the child LEGALLY. Not by lying and committing a crime -- even though you wont' be prosecuted for it most likely.

You didn't have to allow dad to see the child until he went to court. You could have gotten a CPO protecting the child from dad. Those are two things you could have done. Instead you chose to commit fraud and have a man that you KNEW wasn't the father commit perjury by lying on the affidavit of paternity and you also committed such.

 

[Ohiogal]

In what state was this?

 

[animachristi]

I don't understand how lying about a child's parentage is "protecting" the child.[/QUOTE

He was demanding overnight visits (week long) so that he could train him in the "Dominican way" so that he could be a soldier of God. My son was exclusively breastfed at the time (only 3 weeks old). I offered him visits, any time he wished. He refused saying he will only see him if he can leave with him. Fast forward a few months after hearing nothing else from him, I began receiving threatening texts. He said the monster has been unleashed, among other things. I still have all his texts. That's when I began to consider my options and went with changing the BC and moving from my residence.