bio-proven psycho

[Smochia]

What is the name of your state? Georgia
This is a long but interesting and challanging one:
ATTN: any one with being the new wife of the custodial guardian and with custody of step-children
I am the wife of a man who's ex-wife is exasserbating. First, we lived in Colorado. When my husband's ex left she left behind the kids. Everyone was happy. Then I came along. My husband's ex decides she wants custody of the kids. Mind you, she never paid attention to the children for the two years before me and never provided for them in any way, financially, physically or emotionally. Since then much has transpired. She was never stable and was repeatedly told by the court to leave them in our home and was ordered that the children be in my sole custody if and when my husband was gone (due to the military). Many officials have been assigned to the case.We hired an attorney after his ex filed false abuse charges. It was noted that my husband and I were to be moving out of state after his retirement. Needless to say, that became a legal battle as well, at this point a special advocate was assigned. After his report the judge ordered the Dr's recommendation. It was proven and recorded that his ex had zero stability i.e. physically, financially, employment, residential and psychological. It was also ordered that all visitation with the ex would be cleared with the Dr in advance to guarantee the best interest and well being of the children while in her care. It was ordered that we were to move out of state with the children. Of course I am the Interested Party added to the case. At which time the Dr. was released from the case. Now we are in Georgia, the ex moved in with her parents in WA. When the case was officially moved to GA, including domestication. The ex is and should be entitled to visitation, however, we wonder if we can enforce the same stability guidelines or should we have the court enforce them? Also, the ex is unrelenting. She has and will create the most interesting complaints and excusses. She has a history of contempt and disreguard for everyone. This is all in the report by the Dr but having all decision making responsabilty is still foggy. Can we still request the stability proof?

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? Georgia
This is a long but interesting and challanging one:
ATTN: any one with being the new wife of the custodial guardian and with custody of step-children
I am the wife of a man who's ex-wife is exasserbating. First, we lived in Colorado. When my husband's ex left she left behind the kids. Everyone was happy. Then I came along. My husband's ex decides she wants custody of the kids. Mind you, she never paid attention to the children for the two years before me and never provided for them in any way, financially, physically or emotionally. Since then much has transpired. She was never stable and was repeatedly told by the court to leave them in our home and was ordered that the children be in my sole custody if and when my husband was gone (due to the military). Many officials have been assigned to the case.We hired an attorney after his ex filed false abuse charges. It was noted that my husband and I were to be moving out of state after his retirement. Needless to say, that became a legal battle as well, at this point a special advocate was assigned. After his report the judge ordered the Dr's recommendation. It was proven and recorded that his ex had zero stability i.e. physically, financially, employment, residential and psychological. It was also ordered that all visitation with the ex would be cleared with the Dr in advance to guarantee the best interest and well being of the children while in her care. It was ordered that we were to move out of state with the children. Of course I am the Interested Party added to the case. At which time the Dr. was released from the case. Now we are in Georgia, the ex moved in with her parents in WA. When the case was officially moved to GA, including domestication. The ex is and should be entitled to visitation, however, we wonder if we can enforce the same stability guidelines or should we have the court enforce them? Also, the ex is unrelenting. She has and will create the most interesting complaints and excusses. She has a history of contempt and disreguard for everyone. This is all in the report by the Dr but having all decision making responsabilty is still foggy. Can we still request the stability proof?

I'm confused- If the order was domesticated to the state you now live in...then all the information and reports should be already addressed in the court order.

What exactly does the current court order you domesticated say when it refers to you? (Whom I assume are addressed as "Interested Party"). Exact wording please.

 

[Smochia]

bio-psycho

Because of the length and obnoxiosness of this case while in Colorado a Georgia judge only requested the Colorado judges permission and the last two orders from Colorado with the Special Advocates Report. The Georgia courthouse does not want 5 more boxes with numerous volumes. Georgia has requested that we supply what is needed as it comes up. Also, this is so unheard of that the two judges from the two states actually had a phone conversation about it. I am pretty sure the judge in Colorado expressed the ex's behavior in Colorado court rooms. Such as frustrating one judge to the point of throwing a paper clip at her (not touching her of course), contempt, perjury, during phone appearances hanging up on the judge numerous times as well as excessive filing of irrelivent motions.

 

[thetsgtswife]

By chance were they originally at Nellis? She really sounds like a lady we had here that gave up her kids to have her life back.

TSGTSWIFE

 

[Smochia]

reply

No she was not there. However, she has been instatutionalized several times and at different locations. Due you have any advice on how to deal with her? Part of her mental illness is that she can not accept that she has a problem and says that other people are doing what she is really doing. So most everything she files in court is based on her thought process not reality. Just her distortions.

 

[CCfrNY]

It is really sad that she has such issues. I feel for you , i know that the worst type of people to deal with are the ones who cant admit they have a problem. I hope she is seeking help or getting some kind of mental assistance regularly. It probably isnt even her fault she is the way she is. But anyways, I would hope that any visitation she does have is supervised.

 

[thetsgtswife]

No she was not there. However, she has been instatutionalized several times and at different locations. Due you have any advice on how to deal with her? Part of her mental illness is that she can not accept that she has a problem and says that other people are doing what she is really doing. So most everything she files in court is based on her thought process not reality. Just her distortions.

My husbands Ex is biopolar and refuses her meds. Things get very hard at times because she doesnt understand that what we see as rational behavior and irrational behavior, she just sees what she makes up in her mind and sometimes what she can come up with can be difficult to deal with. As long as you have an attorney that understands Mental illness and the need for medication and constant help you will have a better chance of dealing with her in court. Let the attorneys and courts deal with her and try to have as little contact with her as possible. Easier said than done, I know but its in your best interests and well as the children's. You will be the prime target of her delusions and if you give her anything at all to run with she will try to manipulate you in court. Im sure you may have already realized this. She may see you as the cause of her losing her family, even though you arent. She is.

Show the children as much love as you can because like it or not, she is mom and her children love her not matter how badly she behaves. It took years for me to realize that my best bet was to let go and just do everything I can to prove that none of the false allegations were true in court and to avoid all contact with this woman if possible. It will help you in court. I had to start recording all conversations with this woman to protect myself from any more false court orders being brought against me for things I didnt do or say. Once I was able to prove her habit of untruths to the court things became alot better for me and our family. That was a huge source of heated conversations with my husband because I was so fed up with it all.

My stepson is now 12 and unfortunetly is starting to see for himself the things his mom does and its so sad and hard to watch him see his mom for what she is. No child should go through what he is going through. To catch your mom in lies and to lose trust in the one person you should be able to count on in life is so hard on a child. Eventually your step children will see through it all too and they will need you the most at that point. They will know who has been there for them even when mom made it very hard for you.

That is the advice I have. With your spouse being Military you will be put in the position of dealing with her more than the normal wife but you can avoid some things. When she calls for the kids, let them answer. IF she calls at a time the children are not home and she knows this, let the machine catch the call. Even when se doesnt know that is the best way to handle it. Keeps you from having to talk with her. If you have no choice but talk with her, do it in a certified letter. This protects you and you have proof of the exact conversation. My husbands ex had a nasty habit of claiming to never recieve any thing from us, letters or school work, which is where the certified letters come in handy.

Document every thing. every call she makes to the kids, every event, every outburst with time and dates and a summary of what was said or done. Keep your journal handy so you cant jot things down as they happen. this will help you prove patterns and anything else that happens.

Other than this, just stay strong and things will calm down eventually. It only took a little over 8 years for us to get a small amount of peace but we get it in small bites.

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

TSGTSWIFE