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Bipolar..Can I get custody?

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WorriedInAla

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Alabama

I am seriously considering divorcing my husband. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I have not been using medication for quite some time, and have not needed it. I had weight loss surgery, and since losing weight, I have had no real symptoms. But, I am afraid my husband will use this against me to try for custody of our daughters. Will my condition affect my chances of retaining custody? I raised them on my own for almost 2 years as he trained with the Marine Corps, and served a deployment to Iraq. Any advice would be highly appreciated.
 


bononos

Senior Member
"I have not been using medication for quite some time, and have not needed it."
Does a doc. say you don't need it?
Do you even see a Doc.?
Most BP's think they "don't need it".
Honestly, this is a big issue with my ex, and one reason I want supervised visits for him. Not the fact he's BP, but the fact he won't seek proper treatment.
 

Mbarr

Member
WorriedInAla said:
What is the name of your state? Alabama

I am seriously considering divorcing my husband. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I have not been using medication for quite some time, and have not needed it. I had weight loss surgery, and since losing weight, I have had no real symptoms. But, I am afraid my husband will use this against me to try for custody of our daughters. Will my condition affect my chances of retaining custody? I raised them on my own for almost 2 years as he trained with the Marine Corps, and served a deployment to Iraq. Any advice would be highly appreciated.
Be assured that if your spouse seeks custody, he will use your mental diagnosis and lack of current treatment against you. You should immediately commence treatment with a psychiatrist. If you truly no longer need medication, you must have medical records and testimony from a qualified Dr. to verify this. The court will NOT accept your word that you don't need it. If the Dr. finds that you do need meds, you should take them if you want to have any chance for custody.
 

Pearl72

Member
I've been diagnosed at BP as well, and was given primary physical custody of my daughter nearly 3 years ago. At the time, and currently, i take meds and do talk therapy etc... as part of my treatment to keep me stable. I agree with the others, you need to make sure that you have something from a doctor stating you no longer need the meds, and if you are not taking them because you feel "you don't need them", I strongly encourage you to rethink about that, or get a second opinion about your diagnosis of being BP. I went to court, and was asked a million questions about my disorder, so be prepared to answer a lot of questions about the illness as well. If you don't take it seriously about your illness, then a judge may feel that you don't care enough about yourself to do what you can to make yourself better, or stable, then how could you possibly do that for your own kids? Your kids need you to be stable, and with BP, and not being on meds, and taking your treatment into your own hands is spelling nothing but disaster.
 
B

betterthanher

Guest
WorriedInAla said:
I raised them on my own for almost 2 years as he trained with the Marine Corps, and served a deployment to Iraq. Any advice would be highly appreciated.
How freaking dare you even bring this up!!! He was training and serving our country to protect YOUR ass! I would highly suggest don't even think about using this because it won't work and won't look favorably on you that you are using this against your husband who was serving our country and fighting a war. You should be grateful he was able to come back home, you unselfish wench. You DO need some meds.
 

Mbarr

Member
betterthanher said:
How freaking dare you even bring this up!!! He was training and serving our country to protect YOUR ass! I would highly suggest don't even think about using this because it won't work and won't look favorably on you that you are using this against your husband who was serving our country and fighting a war. You should be grateful he was able to come back home, you unselfish wench. You DO need some meds.
Get a grip, man. It is certainly germane that OP was the sole caretaker of the children during hubby's deployment. I didn't get the impression at all that she was implying he had abandoned the kid, or that she was faulting him for his service to our country.
 

WorriedInAla

Junior Member
No, I wasn't using my husband's service to our country as a form of him abandoning our kids. I am very proud of him. I was simply stating that for all that time, I was able to care for my children without any trouble. IF my husband tried to say I was incapable, then he would have been going against his own opinion by joining the military and not trying to have our children cared for by anyone besides me as he served. I am proud of his service.

Back to the real issue now. My doctor and I talked about how little I was experiencing before I stopped seeing her. And for the record, the military screwed up our insurance and we weren't covered for a while, and that is why I stopped seeing her. Our insurance coverage just started up again and I am calling Monday to make my appointment with her. I am also going to try for couple's counseling. But today the husband was throwing things, being hateful to my cats, and even smacked my oldest daughter in the back of her head. Not hard, but still. I called my grandmother and asked could we come to her house a while, and he grabbed my arm and told me I wasn't taking his kids. He held my arm tight for a minute, then he let go. We left, and will stay gone long enough for him to compose himself.

Thanks to most of you for your replies :)
 

Mbarr

Member
WorriedInAla said:
today the husband was throwing things, being hateful to my cats, and even smacked my oldest daughter in the back of her head. Not hard, but still. I called my grandmother and asked could we come to her house a while, and he grabbed my arm and told me I wasn't taking his kids. He held my arm tight for a minute, then he let go. We left, and will stay gone long enough for him to compose himself.
You should contact the Police Department (if you are in city limits), or County Sheriff's Department (if you are outside city limits) and file an incident report. Although you feel he just needs to compose himself, it is very important that you make a report so there is documentation in the event that something like this occurs again, or his behavior escalates. Making a report will not result in charges being brought against him at this time.
 

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