Birth Certificate Request

[Newlydivmomto4]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
I searched for this issue but did not find it. I am not trying to be a witch to my ex, but neither do I want to be a doormat for him to do as he pleases.
My ex-husband just emailed me requesting copies of the children's birth certificates. I have full physical and legal custody of the kids with him having visitation. I know he does not need them for insurance purposes, he already has their social security numbers, I cannot see any legitimate reason for him having them. Must I give him copies?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
I searched for this issue but did not find it. I am not trying to be a witch to my ex, but neither do I want to be a doormat for him to do as he pleases.
My ex-husband just emailed me requesting copies of the children's birth certificates. I have full physical and legal custody of the kids with him having visitation. I know he does not need them for insurance purposes, he already has their social security numbers, I cannot see any legitimate reason for him having them. Must I give him copies?

Why not?

Would the birth certs (and the children) exist without him?

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

Why not?

Would the birth certs (and the children) exist without him?

Because I do not trust him any further than he can jump.

 

[Silverplum]

Because I do not trust him any further than he can jump.

And...so what?

What, precisely, is your objection?

 

[Antigone*]

He can order them himself. Why is he asking you for them?

 

[cbg]

How do you know that he does not need them for insurance purposes? Social security numbers or not, if he worked for my employer we would not cover the kids unless we had a copy of the birth cert on file (and before you ask, yes, it is quite legal for us to require that). We would NOT accept simply the SSN instead.

What do you think he's going to do with the birth certificates that you are so reluctant to let him have copies?

 

[Silverplum]

Y'know what?

I don't care about the details.

Send him here:
Certified Copies of Birth & Death Records

Note, if you read it yourself, DAD has EVERY right to a certified copy of HIS childrens' birth certificates.

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

And...so what?

What, precisely, is your objection?

Is there any legitimate reason a non-custodial parent would need a birth certificate if the child is already enrolled in an insurance program til they reach 21 or 23 if they are in school?

 

[wavehopper27]

He has every right to them, but you are under no obligation to retrieve them for him. Fell free to tell him to go get them himself.

 

[Antigone*]

Is there any legitimate reason a non-custodial parent would need a birth certificate if the child is already enrolled in an insurance program til they reach 21 or 23 if they are in school?

He can use it as wallpaper, who cares he is dad.

If you have that much angst about giving him the darned copies tell him to order them himself. It is easy to do online.

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

How do you know that he does not need them for insurance purposes? Social security numbers or not, if he worked for my employer we would not cover the kids unless we had a copy of the birth cert on file (and before you ask, yes, it is quite legal for us to require that). We would NOT accept simply the SSN instead.

What do you think he's going to do with the birth certificates that you are so reluctant to let him have copies?

Because he is military, I've dealt with Tricare, they are already enrolled in DEERS. The only reason that I can imagine that he would need the kids birth certificates is if he were going to try to enroll them in school. Would he try to? Probably, it wouldn't be the first time he did something behind my back.

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

He can order them himself. Why is he asking you for them?

To piss me off because I requested copies from him of his medical records for something else?

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

Thanks. I didn't realize that you could request them online now. I'll forward him the link.

 

[cbg]

Yes. There is. We only started asking for birth certs a few years ago. Just because the kids are already enrolled doesn't mean there isn't a new request for one. For either insurance or school.

Listen, honey. I could get a copy of your kids' birth certificate if I wanted to. Now, you can play nice and give your ex a copy, or he can write to the state and get one. Either way, he's going to have a copy. Now do you want to be in charge of whether he has a photocopy that everyone can see is a photocopy, or a nice new fresh copy from the state with a nice gold seal on it?

 

[Ohiogal]

Because he is military, I've dealt with Tricare, they are already enrolled in DEERS. The only reason that I can imagine that he would need the kids birth certificates is if he were going to try to enroll them in school. Would he try to? Probably, it wouldn't be the first time he did something behind my back.

Seriously, if you always jump to the negative, you will tend to be a prophet at least once or twice. If you always view him as negative WHY did you have sex with him?

If you always view him/his requests as negative, you will NEVER move past this and grow up and be able to have a healthy coparenting relationship with him.

If you always view him as negative, then YOU will be the most negative one in the situation.

In other words, be the bigger person. Be the adult. Be the grown up. And work with the person with whom you had sex at least twice since you had multiple children.