Birth Parent Doesn't Want Contact

[changedmind]

What is the name of your state? Florida

About 16 years ago, I gave a child up for adoption. At the time, I indicated that the child could contact me at some point. I have changed my mind. How do I go about changing the records from "open" to closed? I have put this part of my life behind me and do not wish to have contact anymore.

Thank you for your time.

 

[StickyFingers]

My initial response,WOW...OK.

Then, I thought...I understand...kinda. (never been there)

Maybe this site will help.

http://www.adoption.org/adopt/florida-state-adoption-laws.php

Maybe someone else will offer other advice/info.

 

[tigger22472]

What is the name of your state? Florida

About 16 years ago, I gave a child up for adoption. At the time, I indicated that the child could contact me at some point. I have changed my mind. How do I go about changing the records from "open" to closed? I have put this part of my life behind me and do not wish to have contact anymore.

Thank you for your time.

I am confused. Have you had contact in the last 16 years? If so and you no longer what to then inform the child and the adoptive parents of such. If you fear in 2 years the child will come find you, that is still possible. At that point it's an open game between two adults and you just express your wishes.

 

[changedmind]

I know, it sounds harsh, and I'm sorry. This happened when I was a teenager. I have told no one about this, including my husband and family. I dread the day a letter or phone call comes and my whole life blows up. I admit it was wrong to keep the secret, but at this point, I choose to do so.

Thanks for understanding and offering advice.

 

[StickyFingers]

I know, it sounds harsh, and I'm sorry. This happened when I was a teenager. I have told no one about this, including my husband and family. I dread the day a letter or phone call comes and my whole life blows up. I admit it was wrong to keep the secret, but at this point, I choose to do so.

Thanks for understanding and offering advice.

You better come clean to your current family/boyfriend/or whatever...

'Cause tigger was correct.

Once that child turns 18....he/she can seek you out and if you were not honest with your[current] family....it can turn it upside down.

I think maybe you need to have a "come to Jesus meeting" with your family. Sooner than later.

 

[changedmind]

Thank you, Sticky Fingers for your advice. However, this is a legal advice forum and that's what I'm looking for-legal advice. Not moral advice or relationship advice. I am trying to find out if I can amend the file to make it closed or somehow note that I do not want to be contacted or send something with all my background/health, etc. information but stating that I do not wish to have a relationship. Thanks.

 

[tigger22472]

Thank you, Sticky Fingers for your advice. However, this is a legal advice forum and that's what I'm looking for-legal advice. Not moral advice or relationship advice. I am trying to find out if I can amend the file to make it closed or somehow note that I do not want to be contacted or send something with all my background/health, etc. information but stating that I do not wish to have a relationship. Thanks.

Closed, opened.. whatever, it doesn't matter really at 18 if this child knows they are adopted they have the right to attempt to seek you out and you have the right to say you choose to have nothing to do with them. Closing it now would not make a difference. If it was open and the adoptive parents have your info there is nothing you can do now to prevent them from giving it to the child, so moral or not the advice you were given was good.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you, Sticky Fingers for your advice. However, this is a legal advice forum and that's what I'm looking for-legal advice. Not moral advice or relationship advice. I am trying to find out if I can amend the file to make it closed or somehow note that I do not want to be contacted or send something with all my background/health, etc. information but stating that I do not wish to have a relationship. Thanks.

That only works if the person gets that file. There are MANY ways of locating a birth parent. Legally you cant prohibit someone from finding you. So Sticky Fingers is right. No matter if you change your adoption records to closed it does not mean you will not be found. It may lessen the chance of you being found but it does not mean you won't be found.