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BM is piping hot

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mom2sm2

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NC

Well my fiance has followed his court order child support to a tee. He pays his montly payments and he added the kids to his insurance. It has been well over a month since insurance kicked in and he gave BM the insurance cards. He also took a copy of everything to the CS office who inturn said they would be sending the insurance to the Medicaid office to make them aware the kids now have insurance. Well BM did not contact Medicaid herself and even after recieveing the insurance card she continuted to file the kids on medicaid to keep from paying the co-pay of course. Well I guess the Medicaid office got all the information from the CS office and since then has taken away her Medicaid she is not even able to keep it as a secondary insurance. Well she has called my fiance and raised holy hell saying it is his fault. That he gets off Scott free. She says she is going to make him pay the co-pay but of course she can't the court order says he pays the premium which is $300 a month and she pay the co-pay $20 an office visit. So now her thing is is she is saying she is not going to allow him to see the kids and is going to tell his 4 yr old son that he is not his daddy.
We of course have seen the kids her mom keeps them while she works and she is more than happy to let us see them and take them for a while. Went yesterday as a matter of fact. BM is not happy. She will not answer the phone when father trys to make phone contact with kids. His son told him mom said we can't talk to you because she doesn't like you anymore.
She has said she doesn't care what anyone says she is not letting him see the kids anymore because he doesn't pay enough.
Father wants to give it a few days and thinks it will blow over.
I think he needs to file contempt charges and get it fixed now because she is really acting crazy especially saying she is going to tell 4 yr old that his father is not his father.
What advice should I give him? Wouldn't it be better to go ahead and file contempt charges.
 


tigger22472

Senior Member
mom2sm2 said:
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NC

Well my fiance has followed his court order child support to a tee. He pays his montly payments and he added the kids to his insurance. It has been well over a month since insurance kicked in and he gave BM the insurance cards. He also took a copy of everything to the CS office who inturn said they would be sending the insurance to the Medicaid office to make them aware the kids now have insurance. Well BM did not contact Medicaid herself and even after recieveing the insurance card she continuted to file the kids on medicaid to keep from paying the co-pay of course. Well I guess the Medicaid office got all the information from the CS office and since then has taken away her Medicaid she is not even able to keep it as a secondary insurance. Well she has called my fiance and raised holy hell saying it is his fault. That he gets off Scott free. She says she is going to make him pay the co-pay but of course she can't the court order says he pays the premium which is $300 a month and she pay the co-pay $20 an office visit. So now her thing is is she is saying she is not going to allow him to see the kids and is going to tell his 4 yr old son that he is not his daddy.
We of course have seen the kids her mom keeps them while she works and she is more than happy to let us see them and take them for a while. Went yesterday as a matter of fact. BM is not happy. She will not answer the phone when father trys to make phone contact with kids. His son told him mom said we can't talk to you because she doesn't like you anymore.
She has said she doesn't care what anyone says she is not letting him see the kids anymore because he doesn't pay enough.
Father wants to give it a few days and thinks it will blow over.
I think he needs to file contempt charges and get it fixed now because she is really acting crazy especially saying she is going to tell 4 yr old that his father is not his father.
What advice should I give him? Wouldn't it be better to go ahead and file contempt charges.

You haven't said of anything that she's in contempt for to warrant charges. You haven't stated that she's actally denied him visits... she's just threatened to. Dad needs to wait, see what happens and even if a contemptable charge does arise don't expect mom to get more then a bashing from a judge the first (at least) time out.
 

mom2sm2

Junior Member
He is supposed to have every other weekend visitation. He was supposed to have them last weekend. Mother told him not to come to her house he was not going to see them. He called but nobody answered. Rode over there at pick up time but they were not at home. He called and left messages nothing was ever returned. When he has got an answer she tell hims you can not talk to them they are not your kids they are mine. He found out yesterday the kids were at there grandmothers and called over and he asked if he could go over there and she said sure so he went and saw them. I am sure if the grandmother tells the mom she will call again making threats. She told him the other day if he called her house one more time to speak to the kids that her live-in boyfriend was going to beat his a$$. It is all a bunch of silly immature mess all because she lost Medicaid and now has to pay a co-pay when she takes the kid to the doctor.
Doesn't that make her in contempt?
 

tigger22472

Senior Member
mom2sm2 said:
He is supposed to have every other weekend visitation. He was supposed to have them last weekend. Mother told him not to come to her house he was not going to see them. He called but nobody answered. Rode over there at pick up time but they were not at home. He called and left messages nothing was ever returned. When he has got an answer she tell hims you can not talk to them they are not your kids they are mine. He found out yesterday the kids were at there grandmothers and called over and he asked if he could go over there and she said sure so he went and saw them. I am sure if the grandmother tells the mom she will call again making threats. She told him the other day if he called her house one more time to speak to the kids that her live-in boyfriend was going to beat his a$$. It is all a bunch of silly immature mess all because she lost Medicaid and now has to pay a co-pay when she takes the kid to the doctor.
Doesn't that make her in contempt?
If he didn't get the kids on his weekend yes she would be 'in contempt' but as I said before don't expect anything and on top of that I don't believe you. You said NOTHING in your first post that she had done anything more than threatened to deny him. You've now lost credibility. IF it really happened THAT would have been the number one concern here, and it wasn't.
 

mom2sm2

Junior Member
Weither you believe me or not is not my concern. But it did happen and like you said she would be in contempt so I am going to advice him to file contempt charges.
 

tigger22472

Senior Member
mom2sm2 said:
Weither you believe me or not is not my concern. But it did happen and like you said she would be in contempt so I am going to advice him to file contempt charges.
Fine, expect him to spend a lot of money, cause a lot more problems over this ONE incident that she will get nothing more than a slap on the wrist for. By that I mean the judge will look at her and say 'Now, don't you do that again.' If you keep adviSing him to take things to court before they are ready and if he's smart you won't be around to adviSe him anymore. She might be in contempt but judges also don't like people running to court at the drop of a hat like this, so expect him to be told he's just a bit over zealous and although she might be in contempt, the hosility isn't healthy for the children. So, in reality, he could get just as much as she does.
 

mom2sm2

Junior Member
tigger22472 said:
Fine, expect him to spend a lot of money, cause a lot more problems over this ONE incident that she will get nothing more than a slap on the wrist for. By that I mean the judge will look at her and say 'Now, don't you do that again.' If you keep adviSing him to take things to court before they are ready and if he's smart you won't be around to adviSe him anymore. She might be in contempt but judges also don't like people running to court at the drop of a hat like this, so expect him to be told he's just a bit over zealous and although she might be in contempt, the hosility isn't healthy for the children. So, in reality, he could get just as much as she does.
Ok so he doesn't file contempt charges right now just keeping calling for his phone contact and show up at scheduled pick up times. But if she keeps ignoring the phone the calls and does not have the kids at scheduled pick up times how long should he actually wait to file contempt charges. I mean he wants to see his kids and talk to them.

What you think of me at this point has nothing to do with my post or my question. I just want to know what legally my fiance can do if she keeps denying the vistitation.
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
and when mom is not there with the children dad needs to make a police report to that effect, that is the kind of evidence judges can rely on. also I believe nc is a one party consent state so you could record phone conversations with mom.
 
Not all states' police will get involved. What I did want to offer up, however, is for father to LOG everything down. The best advice you can give him is tell him to go out and buy a notebook. He needs to write down every date and time she denied him visitation and every date and time she denies phone contact. Document every violation of the current custody order. When there's a number of entries, THEN file for contempt.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
WANNACRY said:
and when mom is not there with the children dad needs to make a police report to that effect, that is the kind of evidence judges can rely on. also I believe nc is a one party consent state so you could record phone conversations with mom.
This is a civil matter. The police will not become involved.

What he needs to do is keep a journal of all calls attempted or actually connected, the time and date of the calls, which he was able to speak with the child and which not and also the same information as to pickup.

When this has gone on for a month or two THEN file a show cause for contempt and motion to amend custody order.
 

mom2sm2

Junior Member
WANNACRY said:
and when mom is not there with the children dad needs to make a police report to that effect, that is the kind of evidence judges can rely on. also I believe nc is a one party consent state so you could record phone conversations with mom.
Thank you. So when he goes next weekend to pick the kids up at scheduled time he needs to call the police and make a report that she did not have the kids there. Ok that sounds great. Record phone conversations I will inform of this. I am sure it will help alot if he has a recording of her saying these are my kids not yours I am not going to let you see them again.
She mostly calls him on his cell phone is it possible to hook a recorder up to that.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
mom2sm2 said:
Thank you. So when he goes next weekend to pick the kids up at scheduled time he needs to call the police and make a report that she did not have the kids there. Ok that sounds great. Record phone conversations I will inform of this. I am sure it will help alot if he has a recording of her saying these are my kids not yours I am not going to let you see them again.
She mostly calls him on his cell phone is it possible to hook a recorder up to that.
THE POLICE WILL NOT GET INVOLVED IN A CIVIL MATTER!!!
now do you get it? No crime has been committed.

And no, you cannot hook a recorder up to a cell phone. Not because it's not technically possible but because of Title 18 , it's a federal crime.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
And my further response:

18 USC 2510, et seq, The Electronic Communications Privacy Act of 1986.

TITLE 18. CRIMES AND CRIMINAL PROCEDURE
PART I--CRIMES CHAPTER 119--WIRE AND ELECTRONIC COMMUNICATIONS INTERCEPTION AND INTERCEPTION OF ORAL COMMUNICATIONS


Read it.
 

mom2sm2

Junior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
This is a civil matter. The police will not become involved.

What he needs to do is keep a journal of all calls attempted or actually connected, the time and date of the calls, which he was able to speak with the child and which not and also the same information as to pickup.

When this has gone on for a month or two THEN file a show cause for contempt and motion to amend custody order.
Thanks I just saw this post. I have talked to him once about keeping the journal but I will bring it up again.
 

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