Boss tells disgusting jokes....

[notredamegirl]

What is the name of your state? GA

I work at a small family owned business, going on 1 year, and i am the only woman and only non-family employee. Sometimes one of the guys here will come in and tell me very sexual jokes or very degrading jokes about women. Sometimes when a relative calls me they will ask (if its a woman) if "shes hot?" or "does she put out?" It really offends me but, for some reason I havent said anything to them. How do i go about getting it stopped without losing my job? My job is great as far as helping me advance in my career and it pays exceptionally well... better than anything else i could find. I am starting to dread being here with them. Im in no way a prude and enjoy a good dirty joke occassionally but, the ones they tell are actually offensive and not funny to me. Plus, Im at work and dont feel comfortable having them talk to me that way. I would be very upset if my husband talked to a woman like that. I shouldnt have to hear the "P" word at work.

They havent made any sexual remarks about me but one has told me that he is intending to leave his wife and he is "fixed". Im not sure what to do. I dont want to get anyone in trouble but, i dont want to continue working like this.

Thanks

 

[cbg]

Your first step is to tell them to cut it out. How do they know you find it offensive if you don't tell them? Some women don't object; they can't read your mind.

What options you have after that, are going to depend on how small a business it is. How many employees, TOTAL?

 

[notredamegirl]

5 employees including myself. IF they fire me because I am offended do I have a recourse. My only worry is losing this job right now. I know GA is an "at will" state so they could fire me for anything basically right?

 

[cbg]

Unfortunately, an employer of only 5 employees falls under the radar for harassment laws at both the state and Federal level. While if your employer were larger you would have some protections for filing a complaint of sexual harassment (in the event that the jokes continue) even in an at-will state, the anti-harassment laws do not apply to such small employers. So yes, technically you could be fired.

You might want to consult with an employment attorney to see if he can come up with any options that I'm not seeing, but your best option might be to find another job.

 

[fairisfair]

If, as you say you "enjoy a good dirty joke occasionally" how do you expect your co- workers to know when that might be?? and what is too dirty??? you need to put a stop to the behavior completely, by not joining in and by telling them in no uncertain terms that you do not want to hear their jokes.

 

[notredamegirl]

to the last poster... i NEVER enjoy a dirty joke at work.. and these arent "dirty" jokes. they are offensive and disgusting. i can quote one if u like...its burned into my memory... but its horribly offensive, especially to anyone with a daughter, like myself... i dont understand how anyone could possibly find it humourous much less tell it to another person without fearing a physical attack. i do not ever join in. they walk into my office and unless i pick up the phone and pretend to be busy so they will go away, i get this offensive material tossed at me. my usual response is.. "thats gross" or "no more today guys" its like they take pleasure in shocking me. i will make sure and make it clear to them TODAY that i am not happy with the jokes and statements they make and i love my job but, really have to see that they stop the jokes.

thanks.

 

[fairisfair]

to the last poster... i NEVER enjoy a dirty joke at work.. and these arent "dirty" jokes. they are offensive and disgusting. i can quote one if u like...its burned into my memory... but its horribly offensive, especially to anyone with a daughter, like myself... i dont understand how anyone could possibly find it humourous much less tell it to another person without fearing a physical attack. i do not ever join in. they walk into my office and unless i pick up the phone and pretend to be busy so they will go away, i get this offensive material tossed at me. my usual response is.. "thats gross" or "no more today guys" its like they take pleasure in shocking me. i will make sure and make it clear to them TODAY that i am not happy with the jokes and statements they make and i love my job but, really have to see that they stop the jokes.

thanks.

"Im in no way a prude and enjoy a good dirty joke occassionally"

I was quoting exactly what you said in your first post. I agree that their behavior is totally out of line, my point was that you can't allow it to happen on certain occasions and then expect them to realize that you are offended on others.

 

[notredamegirl]

"i enjoy a good dirty joke occasionally" yes- but not at work. i suppose that wasnt clear. Just so you understand... I get what you are saying but, I never let them think its ok at work. Thats the point basically is that they are not trying to make me laugh... they are trying to make me sick. When I get a disgusted or repulsed look on my face they all laugh and think its hilarious. anyway... talking about all this and trying to explain it just makes me realize what sickos i work with. i polished up my resume today and im officially looking for new employment. thanks for all your help.

 

[fairisfair]

"i enjoy a good dirty joke occasionally" yes- but not at work. i suppose that wasnt clear. Just so you understand... I get what you are saying but, I never let them think its ok at work. Thats the point basically is that they are not trying to make me laugh... they are trying to make me sick. When I get a disgusted or repulsed look on my face they all laugh and think its hilarious. anyway... talking about all this and trying to explain it just makes me realize what sickos i work with. i polished up my resume today and im officially looking for new employment. thanks for all your help.

try staring at them blankly, like you have no idea what they are talking about, but don't even give them the satisfaction of looking perplexed. If they think you just don't get it, your lack of reaction may take the fun out of getting a rise out of you. In the meantime, yes, I would start looking for employment where you will be respected.

 

[Rose]

If I may

What is it that makes it OK for you to enjoy a dirty joke (no matter where it is), but they can't enjoy a dirty joke?
It never ceases to amaze at how sensitive people are when the feel like it.
Ex: An un-wed mother who told dirty jokes and cussed like a sailor in mixed company got my brother written up for sexual harassment for joking with her about her tongue piercing!

 

[fairisfair]

What is it that makes it OK for you to enjoy a dirty joke (no matter where it is), but they can't enjoy a dirty joke?
It never ceases to amaze at how sensitive people are when the feel like it.
Ex: An un-wed mother who told dirty jokes and cussed like a sailor in mixed company got my brother written up for sexual harassment for joking with her about her tongue piercing!

thanks for the info rose, but that point has already been discussed.

 

[gawm]

What is the name of your state? GA

I work at a small family owned business, going on 1 year, and i am the only woman and only non-family employee. Sometimes one of the guys here will come in and tell me very sexual jokes or very degrading jokes about women. Sometimes when a relative calls me they will ask (if its a woman) if "shes hot?" or "does she put out?" It really offends me but, for some reason I havent said anything to them. How do i go about getting it stopped without losing my job? My job is great as far as helping me advance in my career and it pays exceptionally well... better than anything else i could find. I am starting to dread being here with them. Im in no way a prude and enjoy a good dirty joke occassionally but, the ones they tell are actually offensive and not funny to me. Plus, Im at work and dont feel comfortable having them talk to me that way. I would be very upset if my husband talked to a woman like that. I shouldnt have to hear the "P" word at work.

They havent made any sexual remarks about me but one has told me that he is intending to leave his wife and he is "fixed". Im not sure what to do. I dont want to get anyone in trouble but, i dont want to continue working like this.

Thanks

You can always ask them to stop, or you can quit, or you can get a sense of humor.