• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Boyfriend's exwife

  • Thread starter Melody Chandler
  • Start date

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

M

Melody Chandler

Guest
What is the name of your state?
texas

My boyfriend's ex-wife is not happy when he and their 4 yr old spend the night at my house occassionally. she is threatening to change his visitation to no overnight guest while he has custody. She also says we have to be married before we live together in January or else. Can she really make these changes? we are very responsible adults and make sure we do nothing to upset either of our children. I have slept on the couch and let my bf and his daughter have the bedroom for her own security.
 


W

WCC

Guest
she could ask for and get "no overnight guest"....i'm in florida and it has been done here........not sure about texas. i guess it's the bigger moral issue that you need to really think about. i am one of those moms that would not want my daughter going to dads for the weekend and her having to stay over at girlfriend's house. i look at it this way: he gets her every other weekend and one day a week (more or less), thats her time with dad and if girlfriend wants to be a part of it, no prob.....but then she should go home. this is all just my opinion, but, don't you want to show your child(ren) and his child(ren) that a solid relationship can exist without living together/ sleepovers? hope i don't offend you, but i believe in teaching children morals and setting a good example. good luck....
 

haiku

Senior Member
If they already have a custody agreement, it will be very hard to change it. Unless she can prove the child is in danger, or you get a judge from the "bible belt". most courts do not put up with petty stuff that should be left out of the court room.

What parents do in thier own home is thier business, and I cringe every time I see a parent wanting to dictate what goes on in the others home. Ugh!
 

kat1963

Senior Member
I agree with haiku. In addition, since she knew about it and didn't do anything right away, the judge could probably consider it condonation. (By not acknowledging the problem sooner, she condoned it.) I wouldn't worry about it too much. She's trying to dictate policy AFTER the fact, even if she somehow wins, it will apply to her as well. OR you can just get married and not worry about it ever again!:D
KAT
 
M

Melody Chandler

Guest
No offense taken. If we didn't have a serious relationship and plan to live together soon, we would not even plan things with our kids involved. For the first 6 months of our relationship, we only went out on our weekends without kids, but since then we have slowly planned things with the kids involved. Now we planned to live together then marry within a couple of years. We have the best interest for the kids at heart in our planning.
 

kat1963

Senior Member
I'm an old fashioned gal. I think the kids would like to see two happily married parents!:D :D :D :D :D

You'll want to see a family lawyer in your area about the living together. He/she would be able to tell you how judges in your area are likely to rule on this issue. I assumed it was only going to be for a few short months before you marry. (so you'd probably be hitched before it even got to court) Since it's going to be a few years, this could potentially cause a problem...especially if you get an older judge on your case.

KAT
 
C

cjmom

Guest
Melody, I am kinda in the same situation right now. My bofriend and I don't stay the night at each others homes, but we all stayed in the same tent this summer while camping, him and his son at one end of the 4room tent and me and my son at the other end. His ex filed a motion for restricted visistation so that I cannot be present AT ALL when he has visitation. We don't show affections such as hugging and kissing in his presence, we behave as any regular friends would. He goes to court on Monday so I will report back what happens. I wish she would just realize that I do my best to be a good person and I would never do anything to harm her son. I wish she would realize that my boyfriend is moving on with his life now and she cannot dictate what he does.
 

Bre's_mom

Member
It's seems like the bio mom is jealous that your BF is moving on with his life. That sucks, it should'nt matter if he has a GF, but alot of bio moms are like that. Good luck:p ;) :D
 
M

Melody Chandler

Guest
support

I really appreciate your responses. Hopefully things go well for you and your bf in court, cjmom. We will do whatever is right no matter the outcome, it just really upsets me that you divorce someone because they are impossible to deal with, then you find out they might have control over how we plan our future. That is the purpose of us living together before we marry, to not make the same mistakes as before.
 
C

cjmom

Guest
My boyfriend went to court this morning and not much of anything has been decided yet. The judge wants to speak with their son at 4pm today to see what he has to say because according to the mothers testimony our relationship is upsetting the boy. She made that all up, I just hope that she doesn't coach him to tell a lie. He asked his dad this weekend if me and my son could go swimming with them. If he is so upset why does he ask if we could come along? Of course we didn't go, we will not spend any time together while he has his son until the court makes it's decision. They go back tomorrow morning so my boyfriend can give his testimony and the judge should decide then. Gee, what a game this is turning out to be!
 
M

Melody Chandler

Guest
I got my fingers crossed for you. I finally meet a wonderful man that makes me happier than I have ever been, then find out he was married to Sybil.
Hopefully she doesn't get the restrictions and you and your boyfriend can continue on.
 
C

cjmom

Guest
court update......

Court didn't go at all like we thought it would. She lied and won based all on lies. We heard rumors about this female judge they have. We heard that she is a man hater and always favors mothers. I didn't want to believe it but guess they are right. The judge told the biowitch that she WAS wasting the courts time, that these matters were trivial that she was bringing before the court yet the judeg ruled all in her favor. She did get the restrictions - they cannot have anyone of the opposite sex around when their son is with either of them unless they are related, at least until the divorce is final (only 6 more weeks). I kinda figured this would happen, but because to make things less hairy until the divorce was over. I am so mad that is was ruled based on lies. The judge didn't even allow my boyfriend to testify and tell the judge his side of the story. He was only allowed to address one of the three things she motioned for, and that was the counseling issue. Such bull sh*t! I am so mad. One of the girls at my BF lawyers office didn't file his motion for getting the house put up for sale and for finding her in contempt because she violated her restraining order and removed all the property(even the appliances!) so it wasn't heard today and now has to be scheduled. He is getting a better attorney. This guy was doing it for free, he's good but his office help sucks and my BF really needs someone who is going to go for blood. It is what she deserves. Just as my BF said, she is a coniving, lieing, selfish b***h who will hurt anyone, even her own son, to get whatever she wants.
Oh damn, looks like I went off the deep end and vented.......sorry:mad:
 
M

Melody Chandler

Guest
court

Sorry it turned out that way. I guess the good thing is, only 6 more weeks. What about after the divorce is final, can he have overnight guest then? What happens if you two decide to live together in the future, does this have any affect on that?
 
C

cjmom

Guest
I don't know, I am sure she will somehow try to stop us from ever being together. She could try to put it in the divorce papers that he cannot have overnight guests. Who knows. I think she is just trying to make him look bad for when it comes time to determine custody.

My boyfriend told me her lies will end up coming back to bite her in the A$$ by the time all of this is said and done.

I know he wants cutody, and if I am living with him it will hurt his chance for custody. We are debating if he should wait til the divorce is final and we are married to file or if he should try now for custody. I still have my place for about another month, then it will be sold. I mostly stay with him right now.

The thing is we haven't told his son that I am his girlfriend. We are just trying to get him use to me being around. The only reason I stayed overnight is because we were camping. When I am living with him and his son comes to visit my son and I will stay the night with my friend.
 
Last edited:

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top