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Brother Taking Advantage of Elderly Parents

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JM1975

Member
My state is Indiana.
My elderly parents live in Colorado. I am one of 6 siblings who will inherit equal shares of their estate after they pass away.
One of my brothers recently relapsed into heroin addiction and has been regularly asking my parents for money. They have given him over $400,000 over the last 8 months. None of the other siblings were aware this was happening until a couple weeks ago. My dad is slipping further into dementia and my mom is frail, nearly blind, and in very poor health. We reached out to my parent's investment manager who says we need power of attorney before he can allow us to have any say in disbursements of their portfolio while they are alive. My father reluctantly signed the paperwork to give two of my brothers power of attorney, but will that be enough to prevent any further transfers without out our review and consent? Is there anything else we can do to legally prevent him from taking advantage of our parents?

Thank You,
 


Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
My state is Indiana.
My elderly parents live in Colorado. I am one of 6 siblings who will inherit equal shares of their estate after they pass away.
One of my brothers recently relapsed into heroin addiction and has been regularly asking my parents for money. They have given him over $400,000 over the last 8 months. None of the other siblings were aware this was happening until a couple weeks ago. My dad is slipping further into dementia and my mom is frail, nearly blind, and in very poor health. We reached out to my parent's investment manager who says we need power of attorney before he can allow us to have any say in disbursements of their portfolio while they are alive. My father reluctantly signed the paperwork to give two of my brothers power of attorney, but will that be enough to prevent any further transfers without out our review and consent? Is there anything else we can do to legally prevent him from taking advantage of our parents?

Thank You,
No, that will not be enough to prevent the principal(s) (your parent(s)) from transferring their own money. You may wish to seek out the assistance of an elder-law attorney local to your parents. You may also wish to contact Colorado's Adult Protective Services (https://cdhs.colorado.gov/aps).

Please don't take this as a snarky question, rather, give it careful consideration before answering. May I ask why your parents shouldn't be allowed to spend their money as they choose?
 

zddoodah

Active Member
I am one of 6 siblings who will inherit equal shares of their estate after they pass away.
Presumptuous.


My dad is slipping further into dementia. . . . My father reluctantly signed the paperwork to give two of my brothers power of attorney, but will that be enough to prevent any further transfers without out our review and consent?
For starters, if your father "is slipping . . . into dementia," the POA that he signed may not be valid. However, even if it is, you haven't told us what it says. It probably says that your two brothers have the authority to do certain things relating to the "portfolio" you mentioned. However, just because they have that authority doesn't mean your father and mother can't continue to do as they pleases with their money.


Is there anything else we can do to legally prevent him from taking advantage of our parents?
It sounds like a conservatorship or adult guardianship might be appropriate, and whichever of you is local to your parents should discuss same with a local attorney. You might also consider a report to the local elder abuse authority.
 

JM1975

Member
Presumptuous.




For starters, if your father "is slipping . . . into dementia," the POA that he signed may not be valid. However, even if it is, you haven't told us what it says. It probably says that your two brothers have the authority to do certain things relating to the "portfolio" you mentioned. However, just because they have that authority doesn't mean your father and mother can't continue to do as they pleases with their money.




It sounds like a conservatorship or adult guardianship might be appropriate, and whichever of you is local to your parents should discuss same with a local attorney. You might also consider a report to the local elder abuse authority.
Good advice. Two of my brothers live nearby and we will look into adult guardianship.

FYI: We have all received copies of our parents will, so my assertion about inheritance is not presumptuous.
 

JM1975

Member
No, that will not be enough to prevent the principal(s) (your parent(s)) from transferring their own money. You may wish to seek out the assistance of an elder-law attorney local to your parents. You may also wish to contact Colorado's Adult Protective Services (https://cdhs.colorado.gov/aps).

Please don't take this as a snarky question, rather, give it careful consideration before answering. May I ask why your parents shouldn't be allowed to spend their money as they choose?
Thank you for the good advice.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
FYI: We have all received copies of our parents will, so my assertion about inheritance is not presumptuous.
You are presuming several things when you assume that you will inherit. I won't go any further down that path because it really doesn't pertain to your concern(s).
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
No, that will not be enough to prevent the principal(s) (your parent(s)) from transferring their own money. You may wish to seek out the assistance of an elder-law attorney local to your parents. You may also wish to contact Colorado's Adult Protective Services (https://cdhs.colorado.gov/aps).

Please don't take this as a snarky question, rather, give it careful consideration before answering. May I ask why your parents shouldn't be allowed to spend their money as they choose?
Zig, if heroin is involved their brother could spend it all and leave the parents destitute...and kill himself in the process.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Zig, if heroin is involved their brother could spend it all and leave the parents destitute...and kill himself in the process.
I understand all that. I asked the question I asked in the way I asked in order to learn something from the OP. The OP chose to ignore my question, which may be telling.
 

PayrollHRGuy

Senior Member
Zig, if heroin is involved their brother could spend it all and leave the parents destitute...and kill himself in the process.
Unless the parents are the ones doing the heroin or are otherwise incompetent they can spend their money as they wish.
 

JM1975

Member
I understand all that. I asked the question I asked in the way I asked in order to learn something from the OP. The OP chose to ignore my question, which may be telling.
Okay..Sorry about that. I didn't see the question at first. My answer is no. They should NOT be allowed to spend their own money as they choose because they are not competent to make sound decisions.
 
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Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Okay..Sorry about that. I didn't see the question at first. My answer is no. They should NOT be allowed to spend their own money as they choose because they are not competent to make sound decisions.
That is, actually, a very valid legal stance.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
dad is slipping further into dementia and my mom is frail, nearly blind, and in very poor health.
Has Dad been diagnosed? As for Mom.... none of those issues make her incompetent to manage their affairs - although she may need help. My parents were in similar straights, just switched. And Dad was sharp as a tack until the day he died.

So yeah, someone should consult with a local attorney.
 

adjusterjack

Senior Member
One of my brothers recently relapsed into heroin addiction and has been regularly asking my parents for money. They have given him over $400,000 over the last 8 months.
I have it on good authority that quality heroin in Colorado (Denver area) goes for $80 per gram. $400,000 buys 5000 grams or 11 pounds. 8 months is approximately 240 days meaning he would have to use 21 grams (21,000 milligrams) per day every day or 1.67 tablespoons.

Average daily doses run between 500 milligrams to 1500 milligrams.

He's either a very prosperous drug dealer or he is doing something else with the money besides buying heroin as 21 grams per day likely would have killed him long ago.
 

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