Bullied?

[Tish_CC]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

My husband of 21 years (naturalized citizen) has taken up with a girlfriend and has filed for divorce (no lawyers). I helped fill out the paperwork, it was accepted at the district clerk's office and we are set for hearing in November.

I have been a stay-home mom and run his business from home for almost 16 years. I am back in school and should finish my masters in 2 years. He is agreeing to the child support, but not to spousal support over 1,800.00 a month in writing. He says he will give me more than that, but not agree to it in writing.

Will the judge agree to this amount if it is less than the Family Code amount?
Also can we really do this ourselves or is it true that she will send me out to seek counsel or come up with her own agreement/court order?

My problem is this: He says if the judge tries to order him to pay more (in writing) he will go "back home" within days and never return. He has been here for 30 years and we have two children. You would think this is home.

He says I better speak up and tell the judge I agree to what he is willing to pay to prevent him from leaving or else good luck to me paying the bills. What do I do???? I cannot truly trust him. He is committing adultery after 21 years of marriage and threatening to leave the country abandoning his responsibilities. How can I possibly trust him to do the right thing til I get my masters?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

My husband of 21 years (naturalized citizen) has taken up with a girlfriend and has filed for divorce (no lawyers). I helped fill out the paperwork, it was accepted at the district clerk's office and we are set for hearing in November.

I have been a stay-home mom and run his business from home for almost 16 years. I am back in school and should finish my masters in 2 years. He is agreeing to the child support, but not to spousal support over 1,800.00 a month in writing. He says he will give me more than that, but not agree to it in writing.

Will the judge agree to this amount if it is less than the Family Code amount?
Also can we really do this ourselves or is it true that she will send me out to seek counsel or come up with her own agreement/court order?

My problem is this: He says if the judge tries to order him to pay more (in writing) he will go "back home" within days and never return. He has been here for 30 years and we have two children. You would think this is home.

He says I better speak up and tell the judge I agree to what he is willing to pay to prevent him from leaving or else good luck to me paying the bills. What do I do???? I cannot truly trust him. He is committing adultery after 21 years of marriage and threatening to leave the country abandoning his responsibilities. How can I possibly trust him to do the right thing til I get my masters?

Luckily for him, Texas has a cap on spousal support. 3 years would be your maximum.

You should also realize that it's not guaranteed at all.

You might want to speak with an attorney. Maybe his offer is more than the court would award.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

My husband of 21 years (naturalized citizen) has taken up with a girlfriend and has filed for divorce (no lawyers). I helped fill out the paperwork, it was accepted at the district clerk's office and we are set for hearing in November.

I have been a stay-home mom and run his business from home for almost 16 years. I am back in school and should finish my masters in 2 years. He is agreeing to the child support, but not to spousal support over 1,800.00 a month in writing. He says he will give me more than that, but not agree to it in writing.

Will the judge agree to this amount if it is less than the Family Code amount?
Also can we really do this ourselves or is it true that she will send me out to seek counsel or come up with her own agreement/court order?

My problem is this: He says if the judge tries to order him to pay more (in writing) he will go "back home" within days and never return. He has been here for 30 years and we have two children. You would think this is home.

He says I better speak up and tell the judge I agree to what he is willing to pay to prevent him from leaving or else good luck to me paying the bills. What do I do???? I cannot truly trust him. He is committing adultery after 21 years of marriage and threatening to leave the country abandoning his responsibilities. How can I possibly trust him to do the right thing til I get my masters?

I would definitely speak with an attorney. I suspect that he's hiding something - perhaps some assets that he hasn't disclosed. Keep in mind that you will be entitled to 1/2 of the value of any assets accumulated during the marriage (including retirement accounts and the value of the business).

Whether his offer is fair depends on his income (actually, his cash flow which may be different than the income reported to the IRS) and the assets you have.

If he flees the country to avoid paying, you can probably get an order seizing his assets here. It's probably a bluff. He's not going to flee the country unless he has sizable assets hidden somewhere (in which case, the offer he is making is probably not fair, anyway).

Meanwhile, you do need to get a job so you can support yourself. Even if he has a zillion dollars hidden away in the Cayman Islands, you may not be able to get your hands on it, so you'll need a job.

 

[Bali Hai]

I would definitely speak with an attorney. I suspect that he's hiding something - perhaps some assets that he hasn't disclosed. Keep in mind that you will be entitled to 1/2 of the value of any assets accumulated during the marriage (including retirement accounts and the value of the business).

Whether his offer is fair depends on his income (actually, his cash flow which may be different than the income reported to the IRS) and the assets you have.

If he flees the country to avoid paying, you can probably get an order seizing his assets here. It's probably a bluff. He's not going to flee the country unless he has sizable assets hidden somewhere (in which case, the offer he is making is probably not fair, anyway).

Meanwhile, you do need to get a job so you can support yourself. Even if he has a zillion dollars hidden away in the Cayman Islands, you may not be able to get your hands on it, so you'll need a job.

Let's throw him in jail for up to 14 years until he comes clean on what he is suspected of.

 

[CSO286]

Let's throw him in jail for up to 14 years until he comes clean on what he is suspected of.

Excellent idea, Bali.