California - What Forms To File?

[rwh]

California.

I have been divorced since 2000. I filed (Petitioner) and my Ex is "Respondent". My Ex has physical custody and I have paid child support, but stopped some time ago due to financial hardship. I have always had reasonable visitation rights, though at times it has been halted for as long as 5 months by my Ex. My Ex has filed against me now for child support and back support. Our son is 15 and wants to live with me, not my Ex. My Ex is controlling and not a good parent and our son is unhappy living there.

I want to have the child custody changed so I have legal & physical custody. My Ex's household income is about $80,000/year while mine is only about $22,000. A paralegal place told me that this is not considered whenever the child (15) wishes to live with one parent over another. So you know, there has never been an issue of violence or drug abuse with either parent.

I now have to file a response to my Ex's filing and want to add the declarations and other forms to have custody changed. My son and I may also want to relocate to another state for a better life and I also need information on the legality of this.

Bottom line: Which forms do I need to file? Our son wants to write a declaration with his opinion of the situation too.

 

[Mr. Man]

The copy served to you by our ex should include a "responsive declaration" which you can add the changes you would like. Even though the ex filed first this time, you will still and alway be the "petitioner" in this matter.

You can add "attachments" to all court papers simply be indicating on the responsive declaration that there are attachment (name them, Attachment A or Attachment 1) in the section that indicated. Be sure to number all pages 1 of 10, 2 of 10, etc.

It is highly unlikely you will be allowed to move your child out of state. And changing custody is usually only done in extreme cases. A change of circumstance must be established. The money issue, I'd leave out. The ex is better able to support the needs of your child.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

The copy served to you by our ex should include a "responsive declaration" which you can add the changes you would like. Even though the ex filed first this time, you will still and alway be the "petitioner" in this matter.

You can add "attachments" to all court papers simply be indicating on the responsive declaration that there are attachment (name them, Attachment A or Attachment 1) in the section that indicated. Be sure to number all pages 1 of 10, 2 of 10, etc.

It is highly unlikely you will be allowed to move your child out of state. And changing custody is usually only done in extreme cases. A change of circumstance must be established. The money issue, I'd leave out. The ex is better able to support the needs of your child.

You are incorrect. Leave the money issue out? He stopped a court ordered child support order.

The "X" IS the petitioner in this matter. Where the heck are you getting your info?....A cereal box?

 

[Mr. Man]

In CA, once a case is established the title of "petitioner" and "respondent" remain as in the original case. The case name will always remain the same (Jones vs Smith #05-111). When Smith requests a modification, the case does not become Smith vs Jones!

Below is an example of a case I just pulled up from aol search which proves the point.........


8. Case#: IND 081139 Time: 8:00

Category: Establish Parental R

Case Name: MORIN VS ARCOS

Hearing: Hearing re: OSC re Modification re Child Custody/Visitation
filed by NOEMI ARCOS represnted by PRO/PER



Parties: Party Type: Attorney:

GUADALUPE M MORIN III PET PRO/PER
ANGELINA ALDRETE CH

NOEMI ARCOS RES PRO/PER


Hearing filed by ARCOS the respondent.


The comment about money was specifically in reference to the posters stating that the other parent banks $80,000 and the poster $20,000. Yes, of course money is an issue....POSTER pay up or have modified in court.

But if the poster was intending to suggest that the child is better off because the cp makes so much more money...then that is what I suggested would not work to the ncp advantage.

 

[stealth2]

Mr Man is correct on that point, Paridise.

The court may or may not take the child's wishes into account. That you are in arrears and the CP is apparently much more able to support the child than you are may also factor in. The court is not likely to be overly impressed with your plan to gain custody and move out of state.

 

[rwh]

Mr. Man is correct about the "Petitioner" and "Respondent" being the same always. This became an issue of confusion because I filed the divorce originally. I never made mention in my first post about the sex of myself or my ex, but it was apparently assumed I am the father.

Moving out of state isn't a big problem. I'm sure I could if she allowed it. If I got custody, I don't think she'd care that much what happens anyway. Once she brought him here and told me (in front of him) that she was fed up with him and that I would have to take him. I said fine and started making arrangements, getting school enrollment papers, etc. Without telling me, she instead enrolled him into a school near her, deciding not to go through with it. I think she realized the money she would be losing and changed her mind. When I was making payments, she even wanted me to pay for other things, like school clothes, photos, supplies, sporting equipment, etc. She would get upset when I told her that's what the support payments were for. I didn't get into detail about things before, but I feel some is needed now.

True, her (their) income (since she has had another child and remarried) is close to $80,000. I still think I'd be a better parent because they never do anything with him, like play games, etc. To give you an idea of what she's like, when our son was only about 6 years old, he had a pet kitten which he loved very much. It got hit by a car one day and she told him "It's your fault because you didn't feed your kitten and it ran away." She also used to make him sit at the table for hours, in tears, until he ate everything on his plate. She also whipped him with a belt and would give him a whack for every bad grade he brought home from school. Even when I paid child support (which I did voluntarily for 2 years before our divorce), she would prevent me from seeing him as punishment if he got a bad grade. Once I could not see or speak with him for 5 months. I was fortunate to be able to take him with me last Christmas, flying back east to visit my family, and got back Christmas Eve. I suggested he call her and I would take him back so he could spend Christmas there with his other family, since we had done ours on vacation. He called her and was told not to come home, that they "already had plans." I thought that was a crappy thing to do. Even when I take him home and might be 10 minutes later than planned, he gets very upset because he thinks she is going to yell at him.

Okay, I'm not that well off right now, this is true. And a large part of this is due to her. I put myself into debt paying for everything while we were married while she spent her money on vacations and fancy dining. I often had to put rent on credits cards because she wouldn't contribute. I've been working paying this stuff off since the divorce, which I filed because she was cheating during the marriage with an ex-con from her work. She also abandoned the residence we lived without notifying me or the landlord. She is also a huge slob, doesn't clean her house, and will leave food on the stove for weeks without cleaning it up. I don't think that's a good environment.

I can't believe that living under those conditions could be in the best interest of the child.

 

[stealth2]

And you can prove all of this..... how?

 

[rwh]

And you can prove all of this..... how?

Well, I guess our son could testify to a lot of it, since it happened to him. I guess I'd have to try and contact the old landlord about that part. Do you think it would be too much to try and get a statement from the family member that witnessed her spitting into my food?