Can a parent legally block the other parent?

[katiemc12]

The father and I both reside in the state of Colorado.

I recently contacted my daughter’s father to ask that we change the pickup date to Fridays instead of Mondays because it worked better with my work schedule. Our parenting plan states that we can switch between Fridays or Mondays, depending on what works best with our schedule. We normally switch Mondays, but occasionally we have to switch Fridays for different events and such. We tend to be fairly flexible and easygoing people. But I was asking that it be permanently switched to Fridays, and that if need be, we switch an occasional Monday.
This ended up becoming an argument; he has a recreational event going on and said he wouldn’t be able to take her. I tried coming to a compromise with him, but he wasn’t willing to budge. He initially was willing to ask his parents if she could watch her so he could participate in his tournament, then he decided that picking her up Sunday would be better, but then he proceeded to escalate the situation. Admittedly I let my emotions get to me and I fed into it. He’s now blocked me and I’m left not knowing when he’s planning on picking her up.

I ended up having to take her to urgent care last evening because she broke out into a high fever and I couldn’t manage to break it. I tried contacting him to let him know and still couldn’t manage to get ahold of him. I’ve resorted to contacting his family asking them to ask him to contact me since this is something he should know about — we’re both equally financially responsible for her healthcare.

This isn’t the first time he’s blocked me and refused to be in contact me in regards to our daughter. First time he blocked me, he refused to let me see her. (I told him that during my weeks, I would watch her during the day since I work in the evenings and that I saw no reason to pay for daycare during my weeks. He then proceeded to tell me that until I pay for daycare entirely, I’m not going to see her. I called police to see what I could do and they told me they couldn’t do anything. I ended up waiting until he decided he didn’t want to watch her anymore.)

I’m lost as to what I should do or how I should go about this. Is there a way to legally prevent him from doing this in the future? Suggestions?

Thanks in advance.

 

[cbg]

Katie, have you posted before under another name, or on another forum? It's not a problem if you have, at least for me. But some of what you've posted makes me think that I've seen posts from your ex on another forum, and I know his ex-wife has posted at least once before. If he is who I'm thinking of, my advice to you will be very different than if he isn't.

 

[katiemc12]

Katie, have you posted before under another name, or on another forum? It's not a problem if you have, at least for me. But some of what you've posted makes me think that I've seen posts from your ex on another forum, and I know his ex-wife has posted at least once before. If he is who I'm thinking of, my advice to you will be very different than if he isn't.

He and I were never married. This is the first time I’ve posted to this site and to my knowledge, he hasn’t posted anything on this site

 

[Taxing Matters]

The father and I both reside in the state of Colorado

I’m lost as to what I should do or how I should go about this. Is there a way to legally prevent him from doing this in the future? Suggestions?

Thanks in advance.

Without reading the court orders that relate to custody, visitation, and support I cannot tell how significant it is that the two of you directly communicate. You both are obligated to follow the orders as written. If as written the schedule he wants applies unless he agrees to swap the Fridays then he's entitled to stand firm on that and you'd need to go to court to fix it. Whether direct communication would be needed to carry out the provisions of the orders is something I don't know without reading those orders. I suggest you ask your attorney about how things play out here if you cannot communicate with your ex. Bear in mind that how reasonable it is that he blocked you depends on what you were doing in communicating with him. If you let your emotions take over and became argumentative, insulting, threatening, or whatever, then his action in blocking you might be seen by the court as a reasonable reaction.

 

[cbg]

You don't know how glad I am to hear that, Katie, because the guy I was thinking about is a real nut case.

 

[katiemc12]

Without reading the court orders that relate to custody, visitation, and support I cannot tell how significant it is that the two of you directly communicate. You both are obligated to follow the orders as written. If as written the schedule he wants applies unless he agrees to swap the Fridays then he's entitled to stand firm on that and you'd need to go to court to fix it. Whether direct communication would be needed to carry out the provisions of the orders is something I don't know without reading those orders. I suggest you ask your attorney about how things play out here if you cannot communicate with your ex. Bear in mind that how reasonable it is that he blocked you depends on what you were doing in communicating with him. If you let your emotions take over and became argumentative, insulting, threatening, or whatever, then his action in blocking you might be seen by the court as a reasonable reaction.

The parenting plan never specifies Monday as the permanent day. That’s just when we normally switch. The parenting plan specifically says “Both parents agree to switch the child either Friday or Monday, depending on their schedule for that week.” And then it goes into times in the day, and where she would be picked up. We filed court papers with no disagreements as far as custody or how she would be raised. My work schedule has recently changed, so it would make it difficult to pick her up on Mondays, which was why I contacted him asking him if we could do Fridays instead. I will look into getting it permanently changed to Friday and not having Monday be a part of the equation.

We agreed that direct communication would be allowed because our daughter is very close to the both of us and constantly asks to video chat the other parent. As far as whether or not direct communication is required, I have no idea either. We always directly communicated matters involving our daughter and worked to come to a compromise, but this time it didn’t end that way.

As far as letting my emotions get the best of me, I never threatened or insulted him, and I’m not an argumentative type. I tend to be fairly passive, but I wasn’t willing to accept his accusations from when I wasn’t willing to pay for daycare that I wasn’t using anymore. He blocked me because my straight forward answer wasn’t what he wanted to hear. I don’t know how the court would view it but I have it screenshotted just in case.

Thanks a ton!

 

[katiemc12]

You don't know how glad I am to hear that, Katie, because the guy I was thinking about is a real nut case.

I know it wouldn’t be any of my business, but I’m quite curious about this thread that you’re talking about now. Lol.

 

[cbg]

I'll message you.

 

[t74]

Wait a minute. You asked to change because it was convenient for you; it was not convenient for him. You got angry when he declined to do so. . How is his refusal to change from the current standard an "escalation"? You admit you overreacted and are mad he decided nt to communicate with you while you were upset. You had previously called the POLICE, and you wonder why he would not respond to you.

You really need to meet with an attorney and counselor because you are being ridiculous and childish. Let the attorney do the negotiating; your child's father would be foolish to try to do so with you after the police episode.

 

[LdiJ]

Wait a minute. You asked to change because it was convenient for you; it was not convenient for him. You got angry when he declined to do so. . How is his refusal to change from the current standard an "escalation"? You admit you overreacted and are mad he decided nt to communicate with you while you were upset. You had previously called the POLICE, and you wonder why he would not respond to you.

You really need to meet with an attorney and counselor because you are being ridiculous and childish. Let the attorney do the negotiating; your child's father would be foolish to try to do so with you after the police episode.

OK, back on your "hate all mothers" soapbox again I see.

 

[katiemc12]

Wait a minute. You asked to change because it was convenient for you; it was not convenient for him. You got angry when he declined to do so. . How is his refusal to change from the current standard an "escalation"? You admit you overreacted and are mad he decided nt to communicate with you while you were upset. You had previously called the POLICE, and you wonder why he would not respond to you.

I think you misunderstood. I was willing to come to a compromise with him(find a day that better suited him but also suited my schedule). I wasn’t upset when he said no, I got upset when he escalated the situation by calling me names and threatened to take my child away. I called the police on him previously when he was going against the parenting agreement by refusing to let me see my child. It was my week to watch her and he wouldn’t let me see her because I wouldn’t pay for his portion of daycare. I stated that previous experience to say that he has a history of doing this.

 

[t74]

I think you misunderstood. I was willing to come to a compromise with him(find a day that better suited him but also suited my schedule). I wasn’t upset when he said no, I got upset when he escalated the situation by calling me names and threatened to take my child away. I called the police on him previously when he was going against the parenting agreement by refusing to let me see my child. It was my week to watch her and he wouldn’t let me see her because I wouldn’t pay for his portion of daycare. I stated that previous experience to say that he has a history of doing this.

The PROPER way to deal with the other parent not following the orders is to file for contempt - not to call the police. You have wasted a valuable community safety resource by doing so. You cannot complain about him not following orders if you have not taken the proper legal steps to enforce the orders.

Based on this conduct, he is justified in following the orders to the letter and you are entitles to that as well. If you want changes in the orders when you two do not agree, is to go to court.

 

[t74]

OK, back on your "hate all mothers" soapbox again I see.

Anyone who would call the police when the child was not in danger and is just throwing a hissy fit and deserved to be called on the carpet. In my community, our police are so understaffed that idiotic calls like OP reported quite likely took them away from a very serious situation.

Had dad come and posted what OP reported he did, I would have reamed him out as well. Both need to grow up and put the child first.

You need to stop seeing mothers as always right; I happen to know many men who are the better parent and many women who think they should be in control. I also know many men who are uninvolved and fail to suppor their children and women who never let their children know that their father is a jerk.

OP needs to figure out the right way to handle disputes and not feel entitled to have things changed for her convenience.

 

[LdiJ]

Anyone who would call the police when the child was not in danger and is just throwing a hissy fit and deserved to be called on the carpet. In my community, our police are so understaffed that idiotic calls like OP reported quite likely took them away from a very serious situation.

Had dad come and posted what OP reported he did, I would have reamed him out as well. Both need to grow up and put the child first.

You need to stop seeing mothers as always right; I happen to know many men who are the better parent and many women who think they should be in control. I also know many men who are uninvolved and fail to suppor their children and women who never let their children know that their father is a jerk.

OP needs to figure out the right way to handle disputes and not feel entitled to have things changed for her convenience.

I made that comment because you literally dis every single mother who posts here. You certainly do not do the same to the fathers.

 

[Ohiogal]

OK, back on your "hate all mothers" soapbox again I see.

Ld you are completely out of line.