Can arrears be dismissed by judge?

[Jetblue9557]

What is the name of your state? California

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? California

Depends...but you haven't provided any details so who can really say.

 

[Jetblue9557]

Sorry. First time using this
site.
Support ordered más $1377 plus Add-ons which were never paid ($410 since 2010 about $63,000 to date) However DCSS collected add-ons for 2008-2010 about $15000.00 in 2010. I tried going back to court 2010 but my ex was not around to be served. I got an attorney 2013 but he died before out hearing. In 2019 I got another attorney and he made a mess by doing nothing. A letter was made by my es and signed to "continue to pay child support" and provide for my 2 boys until they finished college. By the way the one is ADD and the other sexually abused at age 7. So I stayed home.
Because the add-on arrears were since 2010 judge dismissed them in August 2019. The written agreement I took to DCSS and they began garnishing a "continued amount of $1377" because my ex was not complying. My ex took me back to court last week and judge threw out that agreement now also. I was not apliques to present my witnesses not my evidense. The judge was totally biased.

 

[t74]

I don't understand your justification for staying home. Your income and benefits woud enabled you to obtain PROFESSIONAL help for your children.

What did your attorney say about the court's action?

 

[LdiJ]

I don't understand your justification for staying home. Your income and benefits woud enabled you to obtain PROFESSIONAL help for your children.

What did your attorney say about the court's action?

How do you know that the OP's income would be enough to do that and if the OP could even get a job with benefits?

 

[t74]

How do you know that the OP's income would be enough to do that and if the OP could even get a job with benefits?

Neither a child with ADD or one with childhood psychological trauma REQUIRES a SAHM. They should be in school during the day.

The court order is obviously at least 11 years old. A responsible single person would have done something to acquire the skills to be self sufficient. What would she do if the money tree died? SS would not be enough to survive in most locations. Every able person should strive to be self sufficient; parents have even a greater responsibility. If mom is so disabled that she is unable to work, how is she able to care for two children whose disabilities she claims to be so great as to require her constant attention. I see a person who would rather whine than act.

As for the legal issues, she needs to consult an attorney as there seems to be lot missing in her narrative. I expect, based on the judge's actions, that there are significant facts left out so nothing said on this forum would be accurate (other than to get a lawyer!).

 

[stealth2]

I agree that something is missing from the narrative...

 

[LdiJ]

Neither a child with ADD or one with childhood psychological trauma REQUIRES a SAHM. They should be in school during the day.

This is one of those times when you are expressing an opinion that would be extremely offensive to most parents with children with special needs.

The court order is obviously at least 11 years old. A responsible single person would have done something to acquire the skills to be self sufficient. What would she do if the money tree died? SS would not be enough to survive in most locations. Every able person should strive to be self sufficient; parents have even a greater responsibility. If mom is so disabled that she is unable to work, how is she able to care for two children whose disabilities she claims to be so great as to require her constant attention. I see a person who would rather whine than act.

See my previous response.

As for the legal issues, she needs to consult an attorney as there seems to be lot missing in her narrative. I expect, based on the judge's actions, that there are significant facts left out so nothing said on this forum would be accurate (other than to get a lawyer!).

See my previous response.

 

[t74]

This is one of those times when you are expressing an opinion that would be extremely offensive to most parents with children with special needs.



See my previous response.



See my previous response.

I have a child with "special needs" including severe ADHD, learning disabilities and now serious mental illness with past suicide attempts and cancer. I worked full time with him and three other children in a demanding job often requiring overtime (at times 7 days a week, unpaid since I was salaried) with, at times, a significant commute. It was my job and benefits that paid for hospitalizations, treatment, educational services, special equipment, ...

One of the best days of my life was when I realized that we would be financially able to survive if something happened to DH/dad. My income covered the mortgage, utilities, food, ... and dad's benefits covered the other things. And the reverse was true if something happened to me.

I got tired of people telling me that their child "deserved" financial support when they would not get off of their tushes and get a job. They had their volunteer work with the symphony, opera guild, etc yet wanted scholarships for their children. They are physically capable of volunteering in a charity's thrift shop but not a similar paying position, I don't find it offensive to tell someone who would rather find excuses rather than a job to support their child that they are irresponsible and need to get off of said tush and quit whining. This goes for dad's as well as mom's only it seems like mom's are more likely to appear here claiming to be mistreated and entitled.

 

[stealth2]

At the end of the day, every situation is different, and we do not really have enough background to know which way this one falls.

 

[Zigner]

Neither a child with ADD or one with childhood psychological trauma REQUIRES a SAHM. They should be in school during the day.

As was mentioned above, every situation is different. My 3 kids required a stay-at-home-parent. That is, a parent who was available at the (unpredictable) drop of a hat to respond to matters that arose at school. There is no way that parent could have maintained a typical day-time job.

 

[t74]

There are jobs with flexibility to attend to family issues. If a child does not require constant in person supervision by a dedicated attendant, the caregiver has some flexibility. There are indeed soem cases where a parent has limited opportunities for employment/education/etc.

In her case she mentioned ADD which is a condition that can be handled by others.. The other child likely required psych services. How does this require constant availability of a parent? Why would another responsible adult not be sufficient?

Actually, I found as a parent of a severely ADHD child that the job when the child was safe at school benefitted my mental health. Dealing with mostly reasonable adults was relaxing.

 

[Zigner]

In her case she mentioned ADD which is a condition that can be handled by others.. The other child likely required psych services. How does this require constant availability of a parent? Why would another responsible adult not be sufficient?

I never said it requires constant availabilty. I said it requires unpredictable availability. Most jobs aren't "flexible" enough to allow a parent to get a phone call and be on the road to the school in 5 minutes. Furthermore, how is it right to just expect that someone will have other people who can shoulder their responsibility for them all the time. Sure, occasionally it might work, but it's not something that can be relied on in all (or even most) cases.

As a note: My children were also (initially) diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, but their diagnoses' changed over time, as is often the case.

I'm glad it worked out in your situation that you were able to hold down a full-time job while also caring for a severely ADHD child, but I can tell you that your situation was not the same as many (most?) other parents'.