Can cost of living be good cause to move away from a parent?

[uswcdh44]

What is the name of your state (CA)

I moved from MO to CA a little over 2 years ago to be with my now wife and her son. We now have a 9 month old, and her son is nearly 5 years old. Her 5-year-old has an autism disorder, and requires weekly sessions with an occupational therapist and a behavioral counselor, as well as intense daily attention. because of this, I work full time and my wife works part time. We have always felt that it would be hard to move away from the area, as her son's father lives here, and does not plan on leaving.

We, however, think that it would be better for us and the children to live in a place where we can afford to live in a larger home with a yard, as the $500,000 2 bedroom condo is a little cozy for 4 people, and we cannot afford to live in a home here, as even with the housing slump, 3 bedroom single-family houses are at minimum $700,000.

We've considered a move that adds 2 hours to the commute from our place to his, and another one that is 12-18 hours by car.

The father of my wife's son is supposed to have his son 2 days a week every week, then all weekend every other weekend. He rarely shows up, or even bothers to call to let us know he is not coming on the weekday visits, but does manage to make most of the weekend visits. he often gets backed up on child support, makes partial payments, and refuses to split extra expenses such as doctors visits, counseling, and therapy.

Does cost of living have any pull in custody hearings? And does the fact that we have another child make it any easier to move out of the area? any help would be appreciated.

 

[onebreath]

This is your wife's issue as her legal ties with her son's father is what is holding you CA. So this is mom's case, if she is invested, perhaps she could come here and ask questions.

She would need to communicate with the dad, discuss her interest, and if he is not acceptable to the child moving long distance...even two hours away, he can file in court for her not to move pending a hearing.

If he is comfortable sticking to weekends, he may be OK with the move, as long as your wife offers a majority of help with the transportation costs.

If you two move, and have to cover all or most of the transportation costs of the move, and if you have to pay any extra in insurance or for special care for the autistic child....for the child to keep the same benefits, consider if it is worth the move.

To answer your question....I don't think cost of living gets imput anywhere that I've heard of...if different in your county let me know and I will try to move there!!!

 

[Ohiogal]

According to the ABA, under California Family Code 3406, a 45 day notice is required to be filed (if this IS under California family code and NOT Missouri family code -- where is the order located and did mom domesticate it in California). There is a presumption FOR relocation and the best interests of the child are paramount. So how is this move in the best interests of the autistic child to be moved away from dad, therapy and school and everything normal to him?

 

[uswcdh44]

The move is in the best interest of the child, as we are barely scraping by in a tiny space that causes much frustration for him. His father causes him more frustration by being inconsistent. His therapy and counseling are inadequate, as we cannot afford anything better in our monetary situation.

My insurance is changing at the beginning of the year, and we will not be able to keep the same therapy and counseling, so that will already be an issue, and we'd like to move to an area where we will be able to afford to put him in a private school, or at the least a school district that will provide support for him.

The bottom line is, $3000.00 a month for the mortgage on a 800sf condo is cutting into resources that could be used for the child. We feel that we should move to an area that is less expensve for housing so that we can afford a place to live that is more comfortable for him, and so we can use the additional money for services for him.

 

[LdiJ]

The move is in the best interest of the child, as we are barely scraping by in a tiny space that causes much frustration for him. His father causes him more frustration by being inconsistent. His therapy and counseling are inadequate, as we cannot afford anything better in our monetary situation.

My insurance is changing at the beginning of the year, and we will not be able to keep the same therapy and counseling, so that will already be an issue, and we'd like to move to an area where we will be able to afford to put him in a private school, or at the least a school district that will provide support for him.

The bottom line is, $3000.00 a month for the mortgage on a 800sf condo is cutting into resources that could be used for the child. We feel that we should move to an area that is less expensve for housing so that we can afford a place to live that is more comfortable for him, and so we can use the additional money for services for him.

The two hour distance option might be possible since dad is only exercising his weekend visitation at this point. However, you can expect your wife to be made responsible for providing all of the transportation for dad's weekend visits.

 

[kimberlywrites]

I'm sure you know this, but whatever you do, make sure it's the mom doing it. If judge sees an overstepping stepdad you will ruin your chances of moving.

 

[Zigner]

I know this is off the subject, but have the child's parents looked in to and IEP at the school and also in to AB3632 funding for the mental-health aspect?

 

[Ohiogal]

What state has jurisdiction?????

 

[uswcdh44]

CA has jurisdiction, the school district we live in is fighting giving us ANY help, We've tried for many services including an IEP on several occasions, and they simply will not provide it. This is yet another reason why we would like to leave the area.

In court or at any other time, it is always mom handling the particulars, and I am here for her support and to get info for her.

We have no problem paying for a majority or all of the transportation costs if we move. After all, with the difference in housing and cost of living, we will have an additional $1500-2000 per month for services and transportation to see the father.