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Can custody change based on routine?

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TexasMom26

Junior Member
Texas. I am the custodial parent. Divorced nearly a year. Our papers say my ex gets visitation only 6-9p on Wednesdays and every 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend. We have instead stuck with our pattern of he gets son every Monday 6-8, Wednesday over night and every other weekend. Ex has declined to stop calling me horrible names in front of our son and I want to deny the Monday night and overnight Wednesday stays to minimize contact. Is that valid or have established some sort of routine that would be recognized in the courts?
 


TexasMom26 said:
Texas. I am the custodial parent. Divorced nearly a year. Our papers say my ex gets visitation only 6-9p on Wednesdays and every 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend. We have instead stuck with our pattern of he gets son every Monday 6-8, Wednesday over night and every other weekend. Ex has declined to stop calling me horrible names in front of our son and I want to deny the Monday night and overnight Wednesday stays to minimize contact. Is that valid or have established some sort of routine that would be recognized in the courts?
To first answer your question, All you can really do is follow the letter of the CO. Don't even try the whole "minimize contact" in front of any judge, that will for sure not be favorable for you.

What you can do is probably modify the order to include verbage to not allow either parent to talk bad about one another in front of the child. That way the next time it happens then he's in violation of the CO and so forth...

And if you do go to court, remember that the SOP has changed in recent months in TX. If your child is older than 3 then it is standard that the NCP will get every Thursday (now) overnight and drop the child off at school instead of your house. It is also standard to pick up the child from school. And don't forget how tricky the 5th weekend of the month works out either.

Talk to your child and have an understanding with him/her. Don't worry, the child will be able to see things. I have a similar situation, in our house we don't belittle (s/p) his mother and in fact, encourage daily contact and some pictures of her in his room so that he feels better. At mom's house, it is completely 180. They just don't get it and it's just as bad because her husband tells my boy a lot of things about me. NCP in your case is digging his own grave, much like CP in my case. Trust me on this one.
 

NotSoNew

Senior Member
you only have to follow the court order. just because you HAVE been allowing him more time, does not entitle him to that time.
 

StepMamainOC

Junior Member
TexasMom26 said:
Texas. I am the custodial parent. Divorced nearly a year. Our papers say my ex gets visitation only 6-9p on Wednesdays and every 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend. We have instead stuck with our pattern of he gets son every Monday 6-8, Wednesday over night and every other weekend. Ex has declined to stop calling me horrible names in front of our son and I want to deny the Monday night and overnight Wednesday stays to minimize contact. Is that valid or have established some sort of routine that would be recognized in the courts?
Just because you've extended visitation to him, doesn't mean that is the "norm". The only legal visitation you have to give him is what is listed in the court order. Nothing more. He can take you back to court to change the visitation. My recommendation though, don't have contact with him. Have him pick your child up from school/daycare and drop him off there. That way, you don't have to deal with him. That's what we do!!
 

casa

Senior Member
TexasMom26 said:
Texas. I am the custodial parent. Divorced nearly a year. Our papers say my ex gets visitation only 6-9p on Wednesdays and every 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend. We have instead stuck with our pattern of he gets son every Monday 6-8, Wednesday over night and every other weekend. Ex has declined to stop calling me horrible names in front of our son and I want to deny the Monday night and overnight Wednesday stays to minimize contact. Is that valid or have established some sort of routine that would be recognized in the courts?
My legal idea is different than my personal opinion. :eek:

Legally tell him you are following the court orders and you suggest he do the same. There won't be anything he can do unless he files in court to modify visitation. IF he did file, he'd have a chance to prove his case because if he has the child overnight on a weeknight/worknight ~ then someone is witness to him taking the child to school/daycare. He can establish that you've agreed to this change in your court order verbally. And...you did. :eek:

Personally an easier solution than going to court OR dealing with him...Is tell him you want to meet at a public place- the local gas station or the corner store etc. People who badmouth and bully tend to behave better in view of the public. ;)

There is no need to curtail the visitation when your goal is to get the father from treating YOU better- Not take away visitation time from the Dad. (Otherwise you would never have agreed to the mon/wed overnight in the first place)
 

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