can father get custody if i am a stay at home mom/

[divineangel]

i am in new york state. i have a daughter 11months old, i am going to court for custody because her father said he was going to take her away. i donot work i stay home with my daughter i was in college before but since i had my daughter i have not gone back. my court date is april 13 and i am planning to return to school in august.my child's father quite is job when he recieved the summons.he refuse to pay child support and he does not take care of her. since the day my daughter was born i only recieved 3 packs of diaper and 5 outfits from him. his family hates my daugter and is mother always say bad things about her, my child father lives in the same house as is family and i fear for her saftey if she goes there. i guess what i am asking is will a juge give him custody in a case like this.

 

[snostar]

Each case is different and depends on many factors.
In my case (NY) the judge based his decision on 12 Factors constituting the “best interest” definition in the Michigan Statute (Compiled Laws, Section 722.23). In the courts opinion it constitutes the most comprehensive legal definition available, analyzing parental adequacy in terms of capacity, motivation, ability and efficaciousness planning.. The 12 Factors are:
(1) moral character and prudence of the parents;
(2) physical, emotional, mental, religious and social needs of the child;
(3) capability and desire of each parent to meet the child's emotional, educational, and other needs;
(4) preference of the child, if the child is of sufficient age and maturity;
(5) the love and affection and other emotional ties existing between the child and each parent;
(6) the length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity;
(7) the desire and ability of each parent to allow an open and loving frequent relationship between the child and other parent;
(8) the child's adjustment to his/her home, school, and community;
(9) the mental and physical health of all parties;
(10) permanence of the family unit of the proposed custodial home;
(11) any evidence of domestic violence;
(12) an other factors.

 

[bradybunchmom]

the dad is a deadbeat

just because you stay at home does not make you unfit. was paternity established? is there a court order for cs? if not,hes not obligated to pay. if there is, a judge will see thru his ploy as trying to get out of paying by filing for custody. he would have to prove you unfit in order to win custody, and thats difficult to do. his quiiting his job to aviod paying will work against him. the judge may hold him in comtempt for that.

 

[snostar]

he would have to prove you unfit in order to win custody,

Absolutely untrue! If he is legally established as the father he has just as much right to custody as the mother does until a court orders differently. I am not even going to address the rest of your post.

 

[divineangel]

stay at home mom

new york state. paternity of my child was dutermined at birth and we are also going to court for child support. i do not know if this will help but his brother who lives wuth him said he was going to kill the baby and i. the police is looking to arrest the brother but i am hoping to obtain a protection order. i do not know if the judge will consider that and not let my child go to there home.

 

[divineangel]

just because you stay at home does not make you unfit. was paternity established? is there a court order for cs? if not,hes not obligated to pay. if there is, a judge will see thru his ploy as trying to get out of paying by filing for custody. he would have to prove you unfit in order to win custody, and thats difficult to do. his quiiting his job to aviod paying will work against him. the judge may hold him in comtempt for that.

yes paternity was extablished at birth, we have a court date for child suppor. i am not even sure where to start because i have never been through this so if u have any advice please tell

 

[nextwife]

just because you stay at home does not make you unfit.

And he being male does not make him UNFIT, either. Nor does a parent working make them unfit.

I'm curious why you staying home with baby and collecting CS is noble, while he wanting to do the same is scummy?

 

[CJane]

Well, I can tell you how it worked in my divorce (MO).

I was a stay at home mom for 6 years. Spent 24/7 with my kids while the ex worked 60 hour weeks. It was a mutually agreed upon decision that took a LOT of talking out before we made it.

However, when the divorce was pending, he made it about me being too lazy to work, wanting to live off his trust fund, using my time with the kids to 'turn them into heathens', etc.

I was ordered to either get a job or forfeit custody of my children. I was told that it's NOT the father's responsibility to pay child support so that I could stay home. Interestingly, the estimated child support amount is HIGHER with me working than when I wasn't.

 

[LdiJ]

The child is 11 months old. Mom has obviously been the primary caregiver to the child for those 11 months. A court is not likely to disrupt the child's life/security by changing that UNLESS there is a strong reason to do so, such as mom being unfit.

For child support purposes an income would most likely be imputed to mom.

 

[divineangel]

can a father get custody if i am a stay at home mom?

And he being male does not make him UNFIT, either. Nor does a parent working make them unfit.

I'm curious why you staying home with baby and collecting CS is noble, while he wanting to do the same is scummy?

I never said i was going to be staying home collecting child support, infact i do not intend to. i suppose u look over the fact that my first post said i was a college student, i also work but i cannot afford to pay a babysitter to stay with my child so i had to leave the job. what i get pay cannot cover babysitter plus my living expense with out help. i never said he was a scum because he wants to sit home and not pay child support which he is anyways. i have taken care of this child by myself since the day she was born so do not make it seems like i am lazy because i am home with her. my baby father live 10 mins away and the last time he came to see her was in febuary so please tell me how does it make him noble if he wants to take my child and collect child support from me.

 

[stealth2]

If you look back, nextwife was responding to a comment made by bradybunchmom, not you.