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Can he do this?

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Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Missouri

Sorry if this doesn't make much sense, I'm very emotional right now.

I have a 4 year old DD. My husband and I are separated, we have been since Christmas time. There is nothing on paper yet. We've been doing well so far with working out visitations and things like that. He usually has her every weekend, he also had her for 1 week after she got out of school for the summer. I have been seeing someone, and when X came to get DD this week he saw him. He flipped out, and started saying that I was an unfit mother because I let strange men around our daughter. Also, the new guy is not white, so he had several racial slurs to throw at me. He says that he talked to his lawyer, and he agrees (that I'm unfit). He says that he's keeping her and will be taking me to court. He's convinced that he will get custody because he has a better job and more money (and more lawyers). Also, because he has a girlfriend that lives with him and he says she's a better mother than I am. I haven't seen her since Sunday, and every time I call to talk to him about it he insults me and accuses me of awful things. I know it's probably a manipulation tactic on his part (he's very emotionally abusive), but I'm still really worried that it will happen.

Also, another aspect of this is that he is not her bio. father. He knows this. We were together and broke up, I got pg and then we got back together and got married before she was born. His name is on her b.c. Is there any chance this could affect the outcome? He says his lawyer told him he could refuse a paternity test and then I couldn't do anything. Is that true?


Under the Radar Member
If the child was born while you were married, then he is legally the father and has the same rights as you do. Frankly, both of you need to get your priorities straight and quit the playing around/shacking up crap until you're legally divorced and able to make decent decisions for your child.

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