can he get 50/ 50

[newmommy20]

What is the name of your state?florida

I have just been informed my ex wants 50/50 custody of our unborn son. The last 3mo of my preg. (when we split) he has done nothing to help me. i have told him about all dr. app. but he never showed. i also have tried to involve him in every decision regarding our son with him showing little to no interest. i discussed mediation w/ him and he refuses to cooperate since i had him aressted for dom. violence on me. i didnt persue charges so they were recently droped i also hid my pregnancy from the courts so he wouldnt be charged w/ a felony. i have been nothing but nice to him and he wants to fight me can he get 50/50? i have no record and have a stable home environment. he is just trying to use our son to get back at me what can i do??

 

[nextwife]

Just because he doesn't want to be with YOU, does not mean he does not want to share in the raising of his child, once there is a child born. Do not think of your future child getting to spend time with their dad as punishment of you. A child should be entitled to have both parents equally in their life - regardless of whether those parents want to be with each other.

In reality, a mom must be virtually unfit before a dad is likely to get EQUAL time with their child from birth. So don't worry. You will be able, at least at first and until the court says otherwise, to keep dad from getting his own equal time to parent his child.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

What is the name of your state?florida

I have just been informed my ex wants 50/50 custody of our unborn son. The last 3mo of my preg. (when we split) he has done nothing to help me. i have told him about all dr. app. but he never showed. i also have tried to involve him in every decision regarding our son with him showing little to no interest. i discussed mediation w/ him and he refuses to cooperate since i had him aressted for dom. violence on me. i didnt persue charges so they were recently droped i also hid my pregnancy from the courts so he wouldnt be charged w/ a felony. i have been nothing but nice to him and he wants to fight me can he get 50/50? i have no record and have a stable home environment. he is just trying to use our son to get back at me what can i do??

My response:

If you move, now, about 3000 miles West, there's nothing he can do, and will probably lose interest because of the distance. DO NOT give birth in Florida. Make sure you give birth in Washington State, Oregon, California, etc.

Get your plane ticket tonight for a flight out tomorrow!

IAAL

 

[newmommy20]

i want him to share but there is no reason for our child to live in 2 dif. houses 160 days out of the yr. we live not even 5 min. from eachother he is honestly trying to get back at me because ive offered for him to see him every day if hed like we live so close why cant we be civil thats all i want i dont want a fight i just want to get along and raise the baby

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

i want him to share but there is no reason for our child to live in 2 dif. houses 160 days out of the yr. we live not even 5 min. from eachother he is honestly trying to get back at me because ive offered for him to see him every day if hed like we live so close why cant we be civil thats all i want i dont want a fight i just want to get along and raise the baby

My response:

Okay, thanks for the sniveling and crying. This isn't a "Dear Abby" site. I don't care about how you "feel". I care about giving you legal advice, and you received it. If you don't leave now, you will regret it.

Get out of Dodge, now!

IAAL

 

[nextwife]

i want him to share but there is no reason for our child to live in 2 dif. houses 160 days out of the yr. we live not even 5 min. from eachother he is honestly trying to get back at me because ive offered for him to see him every day if hed like we live so close why cant we be civil thats all i want i dont want a fight i just want to get along and raise the baby

What you want is for him to spend time with YOU in order to see his child. You get your OWN time, he will be entitled to get HIS own time.

If you wanted a situation in which the child only gets to stay in ONE home, you should have made sure you were in a solid committed relationship and both parents agreed they wanted a child. Even then, the situation could eventually change. But at least your child would have started out with both parents together in the same household. When the parents are not together, it is necessary for the CHILD to travel between homes. You will not be able to dictate that dad must spend time with you, or in your home, in order to have HIS parenting time.

As IAAL said, that will only happen is if you are too far away at birth for travel to be practical.

His presence during the pregnancy is irrelevant legally and has no bearing on his right to file to establish paternity and for a visitation scedule and joint legal custody. He won't likely get 50-50, but what ever he gets will be where he determines to spend it.

If he was recently convicted of DV, you probably can get supervised visitation, at least to start.

 

[betterthanher]

i want him to share but there is no reason for our child to live in 2 dif. houses 160 days out of the yr. we live not even 5 min. from eachother he is honestly trying to get back at me because ive offered for him to see him every day if hed like we live so close why cant we be civil thats all i want i dont want a fight i just want to get along and raise the baby

In reality, you do NOT want to share. You would have absolutely no problem him paying the court-ordered amount of child support, but when it comes to being just as involved with HIS child (it is his too), you have a problem with that.

Well, that's not how it'll work overall. He has every legal right to be as involved in the raising of that child as possible -- and it doesn't matter if "he's trying to get back at you." Stop using the child as a negotiating tool.

Plus, is this an ex boyfriend or husband? If it's an ex-boyfriend, then he doesn't have to show up for anything until he's legally determined to be the father.