can I be forced to separate?

[s.k.b.]

From Maryland: My husband of nearly 19 years has asked me to leave with the implication of divorce down the road. I am trying to salvage the relationship which may very well be possible, but I need to know, can I be forced out of our home and from our three children? Can I be forced to divorce? I desparately need to know. Thank you!

 

[Roscoe]

Do not leave the home!

If you leave, you lose. Do not leave the home. Do not leave your kids. Ask him to leave (or let him stay until the D is final). Forced to separated? You can't force anyone to stay married to you that doesn't want to. Let him go. You can do better.

 

[s.k.b.]

I have no plans to leave

Thank you! The only reason stated for a separation was "unhappiness" or incompatibility as a "legal" reason. There have been no grounds on my part - no adultery, abuse, addiction, criminal activities, etc. With all my heart I plan to stay and reconcile. I just needed to know if I could under any conditions be forced to leave or forced to divorce.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Re: I have no plans to leave

Thank you! The only reason stated for a separation was "unhappiness" or incompatibility as a "legal" reason. There have been no grounds on my part - no adultery, abuse, addiction, criminal activities, etc. With all my heart I plan to stay and reconcile. I just needed to know if I could under any conditions be forced to leave or forced to divorce.

My response:

You can't be forced to leave the family home. But whether or not you agree to a divorce is irrelevant. A Petition for divorce can be filed, and a divorce can be had by either party, on the ground of Irreconcilable Differences.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. You may want to reconcile, but if your husband chooses not to take part in a court recommended reconciliation conference, you can't force him.

IAAL

 

[s.k.b.]

So, In Maryland, my husband can divorce me without my agreement? In the interest of protecting myself, is Maryland a 50/50 state? He has inherited a very nice estate in the last two years, all of which he has put into account under his name only (or kept under his and his late father's name). I was the primary income provider for 18 years. What are my rights in the share of our total estate should he choose to divorce me? I also have a great deal of circumstantial evidence that he has had a relationship going on for the last 18 months.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

So, In Maryland, my husband can divorce me without my agreement? In the interest of protecting myself, is Maryland a 50/50 state? He has inherited a very nice estate in the last two years, all of which he has put into account under his name only (or kept under his and his late father's name). I was the primary income provider for 18 years. What are my rights in the share of our total estate should he choose to divorce me? I also have a great deal of circumstantial evidence that he has had a relationship going on for the last 18 months.

My response:

You are entitled to 50% of the marital assets, and 50% of the marital liabilities.

You are not entitled to any portion of his inheritance. An inheritance is a "gift" to that person. Unless a bequest in a Will is written with the intention of being a gift to both marital partners, the bequest always remains the separate property of its recipient. That money will not be figured into support payments you may be entitled to receive.

It makes NO difference if he's been boinking someone else. Divorce is a "No-Fault" situation. That means, all you need for a divorce are the grounds of "Irreconcilable Differences". That's it. End of story.

With such a lengthy marriage, it would do you well to obtain a FREE consultation with a Family Law attorney to obtain more detailed information on your rights and duties.

LEGAL GROUNDS FOR (ABSOLUTE) DIVORCE: No-Fault: (1) the spouses have voluntarily lived separate and apart for 1 year without interruption or cohabitation and there is no reasonable expectation of reconciliation; or (2) the spouses have lived separate and apart without interruption for 2 years. [Annotated Code of Maryland; Family Law, Title 7, Section 7-103].

Good luck to you.

IAAL

[Edited by I AM ALWAYS LIABLE on 01-27-2001 at 04:32 PM]

 

[s.k.b.]

what happens if I refuse to sign anything?

Suppose papers are drawn up. What would be the ramifications of refusing to sign anything, and I mean anything!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Re: what happens if I refuse to sign anything?

Suppose papers are drawn up. What would be the ramifications of refusing to sign anything, and I mean anything!

My response:

You don't seem to get it. "You" are not needed for a divorce. All that's needed is a valid marriage certificate (the contract) and that one of the parties wishes to break that contract.

A divorce can be completed with or without you. However, if the matter does go into litigation, and you are served papers, you had better act on those papers, otherwise the court will enter your default and divide up the property and debts on it's own, without your input.

IAAL

 

[s.k.b.]

I am greatly appreciative of your information and input. I apologize for my ignorance, but this is a subject that is so totally foreign to me. I have been blown away by his original request that I leave. I have truly been devastated... As stated, I am working toward salvaging and restoring our marriage. I have only been seeking worst case scenarios as to what I'm up against should my efforts fail. So far, things are slowly moving in a positive direction for us, but a lot will be needed to bring us around. It's so very sad that the divorce process seems as simple as you've stated. How very sad for those who took vows, "for better, for worse," etc. get shell-shocked with a new refrain of "till I don't feel like being married to you anymore". Thanks, once again, for your replys... s.k.b.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I am greatly appreciative of your information and input. I apologize for my ignorance, but this is a subject that is so totally foreign to me. I have been blown away by his original request that I leave. I have truly been devastated... As stated, I am working toward salvaging and restoring our marriage. I have only been seeking worst case scenarios as to what I'm up against should my efforts fail. So far, things are slowly moving in a positive direction for us, but a lot will be needed to bring us around. It's so very sad that the divorce process seems as simple as you've stated. How very sad for those who took vows, "for better, for worse," etc. get shell-shocked with a new refrain of "till I don't feel like being married to you anymore". Thanks, once again, for your replys... s.k.b.

Letting Go . . .
To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.


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To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
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To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
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To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
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To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
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To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
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To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
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To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
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To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
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To "let go" is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
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To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
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To "let go" it not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings, and correct them.
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To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.
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To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody but to try to become what I dream I can be.
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To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
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To "let go" is to fear less, and love more.

 

[Roscoe]

Great quote

Great quote IAAL! Did you do that yourself?????

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Re: Great quote

Great quote IAAL! Did you do that yourself?????

My response:

No, it is not my quote. I really felt for this lady (I don't know why) and thought she could use a little understanding thrown in with the law.

Normally, I don't (rather, I try not to) get mushy over things like divorce and separation. But, for some unknown reason, this lady got to me, and if I were there, I'd give her a hug and whisper into her ear, "let go".

IAAL

 

[Roscoe]

Sooooo....

....contrary to {all} your posts....YOU DO HAVE A HEART!!!