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Can I be liable?

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commentator

Senior Member
Well, just taking the keys away doesn't always work. A senior I knew happened to have another set the family did not know about, did drive, did forget where she was going halfway through the trip, and create a big stir. Another senior who shouldn't have been driving had NOT given his child POA or any control of his affairs. When he was told not to drive and refused, his children took his car away, and he promtly called his attorney and changed his will, disinheriting both of them in favor of a charity. In another case, mom was just getting really old, had a number of children, most of whom agreed she should not be driving. The one who didn't agree bought her a new car when the old one was taken away, and yes, within a few weeks, she had a serious wreck which precipitated her death. Talk about a nasty family feud.

With or without Alzheimer's, folks, no amount of expired license is going to make it impossible for a person to drive, I've known lots of people who drove for years without licenses, but nobody drives without keys, unless someone gives them another car to drive, and I have known seniors who have actually swiped other people's cars when they weren't paying close attention, offered teen aged grandchildren money to borrow their vehicle, etc. !

I suggest a bit of helpful misrepresentation in the neighborhood of, 'Mom your doctor has told the GOVERNMENT and they have said you can't drive anymore, and if you did, they'd probably fine you and me a big bunch of money!" And then you take the means to drive away, keep blaming "the authorities." Better they rail at the authorities than at you personally.
 
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quincy

Senior Member
Well, just taking the keys away doesn't always work. A senior I knew happened to have another set the family did not know about, did drive, did forget where she was going halfway through the trip, and create a big stir. Another senior who shouldn't have been driving had NOT given his child POA or any control of his affairs. When he was told not to drive and refused, his children took his car away, and he promtly called his attorney and changed his will, disinheriting both of them in favor of a charity. In another case, mom was just getting really old, had a number of children, most of whom agreed she should not be driving. The one who didn't agree bought her a new car when the old one was taken away, and yes, within a few weeks, she had a serious wreck which precipitated her death. Talk about a nasty family feud.

With or without Alzheimer's, folks, no amount of expired license is going to make it impossible for a person to drive, I've known lots of people who drove for years without licenses, but nobody drives without keys, unless someone gives them another car to drive, and I have known seniors who have actually swiped other people's cars when they weren't paying close attention, offered teen aged grandchildren money to borrow their vehicle, etc. !

I suggest a bit of helpful misrepresentation in the neighborhood of, 'Mom your doctor has told the GOVERNMENT and they have said you can't drive anymore, and if you did, they'd probably fine you and me a big bunch of money!" And then you take the means to drive away, keep blaming "the authorities." Better they rail at the authorities than at you personally.
I agree that removing car keys alone might not work, if there is a second set of keys. Disabling the car works, if it is the only car available to drive.

Because the MVC flags drivers who have been reported by physicians, the one flagged will not be able to renew a license without medical clearance.

With all of that said, nothing really can prevent someone from getting behind the wheel of a car if they have the means to do so, hence the number of drunk drivers still driving after licenses have been pulled.

All you can do is take measures to prevent a dangerous driver from driving and hope that the dangerous driver respects the recommendation by a doctor to stop driving.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
We took Mom's ability to drive a good 6 years ago after (a) numerous instances getting lost on the way home from Church - and an inability to understand the directions given when she called, and (b) a minor fender bender. Eased her into it by either me or bro taking them where they needed to go on the pretext of feeling it was important for us to know what the doctors said ("I'm going anyway, so how about I drive Mom?") or "I'm driving by the store on the way home, so I'll just get the groceries then." (they already lived with me by then.) Let her license lapse (also in NJ), my Dad kept the keys - she couldn't/wouldn't leave him alone while I was at work - so that was safe enough. Even now, she gets periods where she insists she can drive, blah, blah. Of course, some days she also thinks she still works...

Point being, you really have to make it so her getting behind the wheel and actually moving the car is not an option. Disabling the car (and telling her the shop is waiting for the part - back-ordered) often works (per people I know in similar situations)) works well. Putting it in the garage and disabling the remote for the opener might work.

Some people accept it well - my grandmother and Dad did. They both made the decision themselves, as did I. Mom? Not so much. The key, I think, Is making sure there are valid alternatives. You/other family? Also check with your community Senior Center and/or county Office of Senior Services - they should be able to provide you with resources. Check with her supplemental insurer - they may offer transportation coverage (outside of emergency services). Some doctors in our area offer transport. I'd avoid Uber/Lyft if she won't be accompanied due to possible confusion, especially getting a return ride.

I'm sorry your Mom is dealing with ALZ - for her & the rest of you.
 

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