When you turn 18, I would suggest that you contact the original adoption agency and start out by asking for non-identifing information on your biological parents. This is a start that will give you a little insight on the situation and your biological mother. What ever state the adoption went through in, that is the state that you would have to follow their laws.
I found my biological mother when I was 21. To be honest with you, even at 21, I wasn't ready. I wasn't mature enough to handle the situation. I wish now, at age 32, that I would have waited until I was older. Both her and I handled it very wrong. I know how you feel, believe me I do. I started wondering where I came from at a very early age. I used to go to the mall and look at people's faces and wonder if they were my mother or father. Some adoptees have no interest, I was not one of them. It haunted me constantly and I had day dreams of meeting this woman that would change my life. She did change my life, don't get me wrong, but it could have turned out much differently and for that, I now hold regrets, even 11 years later. I would hate to see anyone else go through what I did with making decisions at a young age and then wish I would have waited. In my own personal opionion, I'll tell you what I wish someone would have told me. Find out the non-identifing information, then leave it for awhile. You're young, live your life and do what you want to do, go to college, get married, do all of those things first. You'll learn as you go through those things, and then find her, you'll be a bit older, and more mature. I know you want it now, yesterday, but from the girl that found her biomother, the adoptive daughter that had to tell my parents what I was doing, and from the now adult, mother myself, I would wait.
I wish you all the luck in the world, and if you would like to contact me through personal email, I would love to hear from you and I could tell you a bit more, more than I want to put on the boards here. You can reach me through my profile to email me personally.
Best wishes,
Robin
[Edited by ROBINRAZ on 06-22-2001 at 05:45 PM]
