Can I get child support?

[mommytotwobabie]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee

Okay. I've been going through a divorce since december of 2010. I've already hired and payed my lawyer then. A couple months after moving back up to new York (I have to call to make appointments to talk to him) I called him and talked to him. He told me he was going to get me child support and back child support. I emailed him asking if he had done it (which were ignored) and emailed the paralegal asking if he was going to do it, in which he responded she knows nothing about child support. I asked him a couple months later and he told me I basically need to contest my divorce (and pay him an extra 5 grand for the contested divorce) in order to get Any child support.

It's been 10 months, without any money from my husband, the divorce is not over yet. I signed all he papers and so has he though. Isn't it my lawyers job to get me child support? I cant pay him 5 though sand extra dollars just to get some money from my husband. I have two kids.
One just turned 3 and he other is 1 1/2, obviously they were younger when the divorce started and being so young I could use the money. If I didn't have my family I would be pretty much homeless and I cant work due to my son being slower and having millions of early intervention appointments during the week.

So basically ive gotten $0 over the past 10 months with 2 small children. So yeah isn't it his job, since I hired him to get me money is what I'm asking? Or is he just being lazy.. Because everyone I talk to says he's just jerking me around. And I honestly cant survive off of no money anymore. Its very depressing.

Thanks in advance!

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tennessee

Okay. I've been going through a divorce since december of 2010. I've already hired and payed my lawyer then. A couple months after moving back up to new York (I have to call to make appointments to talk to him) I called him and talked to him. He told me he was going to get me child support and back child support. I emailed him asking if he had done it (which were ignored) and emailed the paralegal asking if he was going to do it, in which he responded she knows nothing about child support. I asked him a couple months later and he told me I basically need to contest my divorce (and pay him an extra 5 grand for the contested divorce) in order to get Any child support.

It's been 10 months, without any money from my husband, the divorce is not over yet. I signed all he papers and so has he though. Isn't it my lawyers job to get me child support? I cant pay him 5 though sand extra dollars just to get some money from my husband. I have two kids.
One just turned 3 and he other is 1 1/2, obviously they were younger when the divorce started and being so young I could use the money. If I didn't have my family I would be pretty much homeless and I cant work due to my son being slower and having millions of early intervention appointments during the week.

So basically ive gotten $0 over the past 10 months with 2 small children. So yeah isn't it his job, since I hired him to get me money is what I'm asking? Or is he just being lazy.. Because everyone I talk to says he's just jerking me around. And I honestly cant survive off of no money anymore. Its very depressing.

Thanks in advance!

Your post isn't clear, but I'll guess what's happening.

You and your stbx have chosen an uncontested divorce. That means that you agree on all items. One of those items seems to be a choice not to ask for child support.

If that is correct, you have 2 choices:
1. Let the uncontested divorce go through. This will the quickest and least expensive option. Once the divorce is over, you can probably file for child support through your state agency.

2. Ask for CS now - but that means that your divorce will no longer be uncontested. A contested divorce can easily add thousands of dollars to the bill, so your attorney's request for more money is not unreasonable.

It's not your attorney's fault - you have to choose between those options. Your attorney can't guarantee outcomes.

The only thing that's a little surprising is 10 months for an uncontested divorce. That's not impossible, but it's a little on the high side. You might ask your attorney to fill you in on where you are in the process so you have an idea how much longer it might take.

Meanwhile, you should never rely on child support for survival. Find a way to support yourself. If you do get child support, that's great, but there are too many circumstances where you wouldn't get it, so it's best not to rely on it.

 

[mommytotwobabie]

Well he had already agreed to $900 a month for child support. Im just wondering why one time he says he can get it for me, then a couple months later he's like no you have to pay me 5 grand to get it, because If I knew he was never going to get it in he first place I would of gone through the state or whatever to get it. And I don't really rely on it, it would just be impossible for me to get a job unless. Plan on living off of no sleep.

Apologies for not noticing the child support category before hand

 

[mistoffolees]

Well he had already agreed to $900 a month for child support. Im just wondering why one time he says he can get it for me, then a couple months later he's like no you have to pay me 5 grand to get it, because If I knew he was never going to get it in he first place I would of gone through the state or whatever to get it. And I don't really rely on it, it would just be impossible for me to get a job unless. Plan on living off of no sleep.

Apologies for not noticing the child support category before hand

Do you have an agreement with the judge's signature on it for $900 a month? Then you didn't have an agreement.

 

[Antigone*]

Well he had already agreed to $900 a month for child support. Im just wondering why one time he says he can get it for me, then a couple months later he's like no you have to pay me 5 grand to get it, because If I knew he was never going to get it in he first place I would of gone through the state or whatever to get it. And I don't really rely on it, it would just be impossible for me to get a job unless. Plan on living off of no sleep.

Apologies for not noticing the child support category before hand

Probably because your sbtx decided he didn't want to pay you child support after all.

 

[mommytotwobabie]

Well we had both signed and gotten it notarized, but if I guess if I have to wait for a judge or another year for something than so be it.

 

[mistoffolees]

Well we had both signed and gotten it notarized, but if I guess if I have to wait for a judge or another year for something than so be it.

For something as important as a divorce and child support, it really pays to educate yourself. Spend some time reading other threads in this forum. The better educated you are, the less your stbx will be able to take advantage of you.

 

[Isis1]

would the state persue a child support order with a divorce pending?

 

[Silverplum]

I've already hired and payed my lawyer then. A couple months after moving back up to new York (I have to call to make appointments to talk to him) I called him and talked to him.

I only want to point out that it's not weird or unprofessional of him to require you to make an appointment to call.

Your calls are the same as office appointments.

 

[CSO286]

For something as important as a divorce and child support, it really pays to educate yourself. Spend some time reading other threads in this forum. The better educated you are, the less your stbx will be able to take advantage of you.

I cannot emphasize this enough. After all, we're taking about your kids (family) and your money. The two most important things in many people's lives.

Do not simply allow the process to happen to you. Talk to smart people. Read--a LOT! Ask questions. Make sure you know all the ins and outs of the system. Almost every state has a child support website that can explain boatloads to you. Why, when and how things happen on a case.

Custody and divorce information can be found all kinds of places. Heck, attorneys post tons of free info on their websites so that if you pick them, the don't have spend 2-4 hours explaining the basics to you. (Though they still manage to pack in the billable hours elsewhere!!) Not to mention that nifty little search function on this website!!!

It is your duty to get educated about things that are going to affect you, your children, future spouses and your wallet.

I know--today it's the cool thing to sit back let it happen and then whine aobut the unfairness of it all, but why not go against the grain??? Be a smart person, learn how to make the sytem work for you?

Trust me, you'll thank me for it later. Me, and Misto, and SilverPlum and Tiggy and Stealth and Artemis, and all the rest of the wise FA seniors, too.

 

[mistoffolees]

would the state persue a child support order with a divorce pending?

Yes, they probably would - but it could backfire. It seems like they have an uncontested divorce. After 10 months, they're probably getting close to having it finished. If OP files for CS through the state now, the uncontested divorce goes out the window - and she'll be starting from scratch (and ponying up $5 K for her attorney).

 

[Isis1]

Yes, they probably would - but it could backfire. It seems like they have an uncontested divorce. After 10 months, they're probably getting close to having it finished. If OP files for CS through the state now, the uncontested divorce goes out the window - and she'll be starting from scratch (and ponying up $5 K for her attorney).

PURSUE!!! jeez, i hate it when i catch my error in a quote.

 

[Isis1]

so then my next question to the OP would be, WHERE she is at in the divorce process.

the papers are signed. but has anything been filed with the courts?