Can I get in trouble

[Lele316]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA
I currently live in PA been seperated (non legally) for almost 2 yrs from my husband who lives in NY. He is court ordered to pay child support thru the state of NY as that is where I was residing with him. There is no open court cases for visitation or custody nor has there even been and he hasnt seen his daughter in about 8 months. My question is if I was to move to the state of florida can I get in trouble or anything?. The child support paperwork from the court states that I am the custodial parent.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA
I currently live in PA been seperated (non legally) for almost 2 yrs from my husband who lives in NY. He is court ordered to pay child support thru the state of NY as that is where I was residing with him. There is no open court cases for visitation or custody nor has there even been and he hasnt seen his daughter in about 8 months. My question is if I was to move to the state of florida can I get in trouble or anything?. The child support paperwork from the court states that I am the custodial parent.

You both currently have equal rights to the child.

Therefore, you can relocate.

However, Dad can immediately file to have your child returned pending a custody determination.

If I were you, I'd file for custody and request permission from the court to relocate kiddo.

(Have you actually asked Dad about it? How much would the move impact his time with kiddo?)

 

[Lele316]

He only talks to her on the phone once a week for about 15 minutes or less depending on her mood as my daughter is only 3 yrs old...he will not drive the 2 hours to come see her or anything because the girl he had an affair with and now has a child with will not allow him to he has not seen her since june 4th of last yr and that is because I brought her to his brother childrens christening and he showed up. I have not asked him about it at all yet because I know he will argue just for the sake of it and because everyone will tell him to not let me move regardless if it is better for our child or not.

 

[mistoffolees]

You both currently have equal rights to the child.

Therefore, you can relocate.

However, Dad can immediately file to have your child returned pending a custody determination.

If I were you, I'd file for custody and request permission from the court to relocate kiddo.

(Have you actually asked Dad about it? How much would the move impact his time with kiddo?)

Especially since Mom and the kid have lived away from Dad for 2 years. And Dad hasn't seen the kid for months. If Mom goes through the procedures properly and provides a plan for Dad to have visitation, she should be able to get permission to move.

 

[Proserpina]

Especially since Mom and the kid have lived away from Dad for 2 years. And Dad hasn't seen the kid for months. If Mom goes through the procedures properly and provides a plan for Dad to have visitation, she should be able to get permission to move.

Yeap, agreed!

 

[Lele316]

but what if I dont go through the courts and I move...letting him I leave and our new address and phne and all not stopping contact or anything of the sort...is that like kidnapping or anything?

 

[Proserpina]

but what if I dont go through the courts and I move...letting him I leave and our new address and phne and all not stopping contact or anything of the sort...is that like kidnapping or anything?

No, that's not kidnapping. But he can make your life hell if you do that.

You really don't want to have to fly back up to PA/NY for court hearings, surely?

Seriously - court orders PROTECT you. They're your friends

 

[mistoffolees]

No, that's not kidnapping. But he can make your life hell if you do that.

You really don't want to have to fly back up to PA/NY for court hearings, surely?

Seriously - court orders PROTECT you. They're your friends

Or, worse yet, have to deliver the child to stay with Dad until the court hearing.

 

[LdiJ]

No, that's not kidnapping. But he can make your life hell if you do that.

You really don't want to have to fly back up to PA/NY for court hearings, surely?

Seriously - court orders PROTECT you. They're your friends

This situation is a little different though than the norm. They already live in different states. PA would have jurisdiction since apparently they have lived there almost 2 years. A judge would have a difficult time ordering mom back to PA to accommodate a father who does not live in PA...even on a temporary basis.

However, I do agree that settling custody before she moves is still the wiser thing to do.

 

[Lele316]

I agree that going to court and getting custody would be better I just didnt want to have to wait tillk all that is over with as going to court can take a yr or more to settle things.

 

[mistoffolees]

I agree that going to court and getting custody would be better I just didnt want to have to wait tillk all that is over with as going to court can take a yr or more to settle things.

It shouldn't take a year, but it will take time.

There is another option. Talk with Dad and work out a stipulated agreement that you are permitted to move the child out of state and that Dad gets a long distance visitation plan. You might have to agree to pay the transportation cost (although Dad might agree to split it). If you can reach an agreement with Dad, you simply stipulate it to the court and it will go through.

 

[ecmst12]

When you have children, sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to do in order to put your childrens' needs before your own. That's parenthood.

 

[AkersTile]

When you have children, sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to do in order to put your childrens' needs before your own. That's parenthood.

This just needed to be quoted... and a bumper sticker, and a poster, and a billboard, etc.

 

[Lele316]

When you have children, sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to do in order to put your childrens' needs before your own. That's parenthood.

That is what I am trying to do. If I spoke with him alone and explained things and yes I would be willing to split the cost of her visitations with him I'm almost sure he would be fine with it because he knows it would be better for our daughter...however I am not able to speak to him privately he is only allowed to talk to me or his daughter infront of his girlfriend and she would make him fight with me about it and refuse to let me just because the same as his family would tell him when none of them make any effort to actually be in my daughters life I am the one who is always driving the 2 + hrs to bring her to there house for visits and holidays, everyone surrounding him would turn it into a circus and that is what I do not want.

 

[ecmst12]

Yeah I don't even HAVE kids and I know that