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Can I Maintain Primary Custody?

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XxBladesxX

New member
I live in Washington State. I've had full custody of my two boys for 9½ years (ages 10 and 11). We made a hand written agreement that I was going to have primary custody (hardly official), and I have. I've been in a huge hardship (I lost my job a little over a year ago) and recently I've exhausted all my resources and I've been thinking about sending my kids to live with their mother because she's been asking (a big seller is that they have a very small town with more of a 1-on-1 teaching style) if I do this, is there any way to maintain being the primary custodian? or make sure that once I get my life back on track and able to properly provide for them, that I can get them back?
 


HRZ

Senior Member
IF you establish a new status quo ...the new status quo may carry a lot of momenteum. And to some extent if the school is better suited for your children your children benefit from the new status quo......and absence of a formal order means you have no real leverage as to prior agreement . I weigh in as a layman to do what is best for the children ...and to me , better education means a lot
 

XxBladesxX

New member
I agree with you on most of that, the thing I forgot to mention is that their schooling only goes to 8th grade. my intent is to not take them prior to them completing the 8th grade. but I was hoping that there may be a form to make it official that I'm the primary custodian without the need of going to court (unless she refuses to give them back or anything)
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I agree with you on most of that, the thing I forgot to mention is that their schooling only goes to 8th grade. my intent is to not take them prior to them completing the 8th grade. but I was hoping that there may be a form to make it official that I'm the primary custodian without the need of going to court (unless she refuses to give them back or anything)
Sorry, but no. Even if you had a formal agreement now that you have primary custody, once they have lived with the other parent for 6 or more months that can be challenged based on status quo. Custody is always based on the best interest of the children, at the time that the issue arises.
 

t74

Member
Are there employment opportunities (or possibility of working remotely) for you where she lives?
 

XxBladesxX

New member
I'm a Software Engineer with only an AAT and almost 5 years experience, there is definitely a "possibility" however I can't seam to catch a break
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Sorry, but no. Even if you had a formal agreement now that you have primary custody, once they have lived with the other parent for 6 or more months that can be challenged based on status quo. Custody is always based on the best interest of the children, at the time that the issue arises.
Status quo does not magically kick in at six months.
 

HRZ

Senior Member
But if the children stay with Mom for several years thru 8th grade as posted , that sure reads like new status quo to this layman.
 

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