Can I Make Checks Payable to My Child?

[Reina100]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?
Massachusetts

Good Afternoon,

Currently, my son (he is 10 years old) is in the custody of my sister and her husband. I am going to give them money for my son's expenses, etc. My question is, can I make the checks payable to my son instead of my sister and or her husband? Also, should I open a bank account under my son's name where I can make deposits and my sister and or her husband can withdraw money and use it toward my son's expenses?

Your anticipated response to my email is greatly appreciated.

Thank you,
Reina

 

[Smarty Panties]

Don't you think a 10 year old would have difficulty cashing a check? Not to mention a 10 year old being expected to manage money.

The most common sense thing to do is give your sister a check (absent a court order for child support stating otherwise)

 

[Phnx02]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?
Massachusetts

Good Afternoon,

Currently, my son (he is 10 years old) is in the custody of my sister and her husband. I am going to give them money for my son's expenses, etc. My question is, can I make the checks payable to my son instead of my sister and or her husband? Also, should I open a bank account under my son's name where I can make deposits and my sister and or her husband can withdraw money and use it toward my son's expenses?

Your anticipated response to my email is greatly appreciated.

Thank you,
Reina

If the money you pay is for CS for your child - then certainly not! If you make the check out directly to your son, it will be considered a gift - rather than a CS payment to your sister for caring for the child. This will come back to bite you if anyone wants to later claim that you never paid CS. Besides, a child cannot cash a check anyways. Same thing with opening a bank account in his name for direct deposit. If your sister has been so grateful to care for your child, why are you so reluctant to pay her directly?

 

[stealth2]

Why do you feel this is necessary?

 

[skyspirit]

Here's my opinion--for what its worth.

You pay CS to your sis for your son, right?

She pays for him to have a roof over his head, gas and electric to keep him warm and out of the dark, food for his body, clothes for his back--these are just the basics.

Then, she pays for gas to get him back and forth to school, boy scouts, church, soccer...whatever.

She also pays his school workbook fees (They are $60 per child where mine go to school), school lunches, field trip fees...whatever.

Then, what about the extra stuff like rollerskating, movies, going out to eat, laser tag, computer resources...whatever.

MY POINT IS:
What alot of parents who pay CS fail to realize is that yes, your sis gets the check. She may not use that money to open a bank account for your son, but she is paying for his upkeep and his care while addressing his needs. She may take that CS check and make a car payment with it, but she is still taking money from HER OWN account to care for YOUR child. The money you pay would serve to pay her back for the money she supplied to care for your child. --AND BELIEVE ME...THE CHILD SUPPORT YOU PAY IS A MERE FRACTION OF WHAT IT COSTS TO RAISE A CHILD.

You can't think of it as "YOUR CHILD'S MONEY" because it is not. It is for his upbringing and general care, which she is providing.

If you want your child to have money, open a bank account for him yourself.

It costs ALOT of money to raise children. Collectively, I have 6. (3 of my own, 2 I have custody of due to abuse and neglect, and one that belongs to my b/f).

My best advice to you would be to say, "GET OVER IT".

Don't mean to sound like a jerk, but if you let that hate fester inside of you, it will undoubtedly affect your child in a negative way at one time or another. YOUR CHILD IS WHAT MATTERS HERE, NOT YOU OR HER.

Remember--she's taking money out of HER pocket for YOUR child. Plus, she's spending the time with him that he needs. Lighten up on her. Sounds to me like she's doing you a big favor by providing your child with a home in the first place.

Oh---and DON'T EVER speak badly of her to your child, or let your child hear you say anything negative about her. To me, that's child abuse.

Just my opinion. I am sorry if I offended you, but that advice is from the heart and from experience.

Sky

 

[haiku]

do you have a court ordered child support obligation to your sister?

I think that is the the most important question to answer first.

 

[Reina100]

Here's my opinion--for what its worth.

You pay CS to your sis for your son, right?

She pays for him to have a roof over his head, gas and electric to keep him warm and out of the dark, food for his body, clothes for his back--these are just the basics.

Then, she pays for gas to get him back and forth to school, boy scouts, church, soccer...whatever.

She also pays his school workbook fees (They are $60 per child where mine go to school), school lunches, field trip fees...whatever.

Then, what about the extra stuff like rollerskating, movies, going out to eat, laser tag, computer resources...whatever.

MY POINT IS:
What alot of parents who pay CS fail to realize is that yes, your sis gets the check. She may not use that money to open a bank account for your son, but she is paying for his upkeep and his care while addressing his needs. She may take that CS check and make a car payment with it, but she is still taking money from HER OWN account to care for YOUR child. The money you pay would serve to pay her back for the money she supplied to care for your child. --AND BELIEVE ME...THE CHILD SUPPORT YOU PAY IS A MERE FRACTION OF WHAT IT COSTS TO RAISE A CHILD.

You can't think of it as "YOUR CHILD'S MONEY" because it is not. It is for his upbringing and general care, which she is providing.

If you want your child to have money, open a bank account for him yourself.

It costs ALOT of money to raise children. Collectively, I have 6. (3 of my own, 2 I have custody of due to abuse and neglect, and one that belongs to my b/f).

My best advice to you would be to say, "GET OVER IT".

Don't mean to sound like a jerk, but if you let that hate fester inside of you, it will undoubtedly affect your child in a negative way at one time or another. YOUR CHILD IS WHAT MATTERS HERE, NOT YOU OR HER.

Remember--she's taking money out of HER pocket for YOUR child. Plus, she's spending the time with him that he needs. Lighten up on her. Sounds to me like she's doing you a big favor by providing your child with a home in the first place.

Oh---and DON'T EVER speak badly of her to your child, or let your child hear you say anything negative about her. To me, that's child abuse.

Just my opinion. I am sorry if I offended you, but that advice is from the heart and from experience.

Sky

First of all, I'd like to say that you are way off in some of your points. For your information, my sister and I are in speaking terms and I DO NOT have/feel hate for her. Secondly, I would NEVER speak badly of my sister or her husband, that's not my style. I don't need to "GET OVER" anything because there is nothing negative going on.

I already know how hard my sister and her husband work to provide a roof over my son's head, food, clothes, etc. Also, I don't need anyone to tell me how expensive it is to raise a child/children. I have a younger child who resides with me, so I am well aware of the responsibility, expenses and sacrifices one has to sometimes make.

All I wanted from this forum was a simple answer to a simple question. There is no ill will behind my question nor was I scheming to get over my sister/husband. I should of consulted with an attorney instead or my sister for that matter. In any case, it sounds like you are the one carrying hate and resentment for having to care for six children. Don't get me wrong again, I sincerely applaud you for raising six children. It's very commendable of you.

Reina100

 

[skyspirit]

No---it sounds to me like you are carrying a little guilt. I have no room for hate or ill-will. I'm just too busy (and happily so) to harbor such useless and destructive feelings.

The way you posted sounded to me like another dad that was upset about having to support his child. For whatever reason he resides with your sister's family and not with you, I APPLAUDE HER. Its very difficult sometimes to raise someone else's children (as I am doing). You have to walk a fine line between doing what is in the childs best interests as well as keeping good relations with the birth parents.

Just for the record and so you know about my own situation: My ex pays 70 bucks a week for one child. His income is $60K. I never raised it. Its not about the money for me--it never was. He complains CONSTANTLY about having to pay that measley little amount. He remains single and has no other dependents. He is bitter and nasty and puts me down to my daughter--which doesn't phase me a bit. I see what its doing to my daughter tho, and it hurts her to no end. He is putting himself first in this situation and not her.

I didn't mean to sound like a jerk. My interpretation was that you didn't want to give the money for your child's maintenance to your sister (as she should have). I merely stated all the reasons why she should get it.

Good Luck to you and your family.

Sky

 

[Reina100]

No---it sounds to me like you are carrying a little guilt. I have no room for hate or ill-will. I'm just too busy (and happily so) to harbor such useless and destructive feelings.

The way you posted sounded to me like another dad that was upset about having to support his child. For whatever reason he resides with your sister's family and not with you, I APPLAUDE HER. Its very difficult sometimes to raise someone else's children (as I am doing). You have to walk a fine line between doing what is in the childs best interests as well as keeping good relations with the birth parents.

Just for the record and so you know about my own situation: My ex pays 70 bucks a week for one child. His income is $60K. I never raised it. Its not about the money for me--it never was. He complains CONSTANTLY about having to pay that measley little amount. He remains single and has no other dependents. He is bitter and nasty and puts me down to my daughter--which doesn't phase me a bit. I see what its doing to my daughter tho, and it hurts her to no end. He is putting himself first in this situation and not her.

I didn't mean to sound like a jerk. My interpretation was that you didn't want to give the money for your child's maintenance to your sister (as she should have). I merely stated all the reasons why she should get it.

Good Luck to you and your family.

Sky

First of I am not carrying any guilt. Instead, I am very happy that my son is with my sister and her husband. They take very good care of him. I have no problem given them money. It's my responsibility. I was merely asking a simple question that was misinterpreted by everyone in this forum.

One more thing, you mentioned your ex puts you down to your daughter and it doesn't phase you a bit?! I'm sorry to say but that sounds crazy! If my ex was constantly putting me down (which by the way is not) to my son, I would be very upset. The reason I would be upset is because of the emotional damage it would cause to my child. Aren't you aware of the emotional damage he is causing your daughter by putting you down? Saying his "trashing" of you to your daughter doesn't phase you is like saying you don't care for her emotional well being and/or long term emotional stability. In the end, the one that pays the price for such inmature behavior is your daughter.

Reina

 

[LdiJ]

First of I am not carrying any guilt. Instead, I am very happy that my son is with my sister and her husband. They take very good care of him. I have no problem given them money. It's my responsibility. I was merely asking a simple question that was misinterpreted by everyone in this forum.

Explaining WHY you feel the need to do that would get you better answers.

 

[stealth2]

I was merely asking a simple question that was misinterpreted by everyone in this forum.

Actually, only one person misinterpreted. The rest of us asked questions which you've yet to answer.

 

[AHA]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?
Massachusetts

Good Afternoon,

Currently, my son (he is 10 years old) is in the custody of my sister and her husband. I am going to give them money for my son's expenses, etc. My question is, can I make the checks payable to my son instead of my sister and or her husband? Also, should I open a bank account under my son's name where I can make deposits and my sister and or her husband can withdraw money and use it toward my son's expenses?

Your anticipated response to my email is greatly appreciated.

Thank you,
Reina

A friend of mine did that a few times, only to find out that the kid couldn't cash them until she was of legal age and by that time the checks weren't valid anymore and he ended up with arrears and having to pay lots more(rightly so) because the ordered cs payments (the checks in the kid's name) couldn't be cashed to the caregiver who was paying the kid's bills. Why cause more problems in your family than what's already there? Make the check out to the person who is paying for your kid's living expenses and sleep better at night. If you are on friendly terms with the people that provide for your kid 24/7 and footing the expensive bills, then writing the check out to them shouldn't be a problem whatsoever. There's a dog buried somewhere and the advice givers are as always left in the dark.

 

[skyspirit]

First of I am not carrying any guilt. Instead, I am very happy that my son is with my sister and her husband. They take very good care of him. I have no problem given them money. It's my responsibility. I was merely asking a simple question that was misinterpreted by everyone in this forum.

One more thing, you mentioned your ex puts you down to your daughter and it doesn't phase you a bit?! I'm sorry to say but that sounds crazy! If my ex was constantly putting me down (which by the way is not) to my son, I would be very upset. The reason I would be upset is because of the emotional damage it would cause to my child. Aren't you aware of the emotional damage he is causing your daughter by putting you down? Saying his "trashing" of you to your daughter doesn't phase you is like saying you don't care for her emotional well being and/or long term emotional stability. In the end, the one that pays the price for such inmature behavior is your daughter.

Reina

Here's the deal...He's trying to hurt ME thru HER, and in the process--he's just hurting her. Sticks and stones, ya know. She is seeing a therapist for guidance on this. Its not fair for me to even try to dispute these issues with her. I figure she's better off to hear it from someone else. Besides, if I tried to "straighten things out", it would seem too much like I was "Playing the game" too---which I refuse to do. She knows the truth. She just needs to put it all in perspective and realize his motivations behind his bitter words.

It kills me inside to know how he toys with her emotions. That is why she is getting help (professional).

I guess I'll be the one to say the Emporer has no clothes....WHY DOESN'T HE LIVE WITH YOU???

Curious.

Sky

 

[Silverplum]

Well, YOU sure took over this thread, didn't you, skyspirit?

 

[AnswerMeNOW]

Drama Momma

My best advice to you would be to say, "GET OVER IT".

Gee Sky...what's with all of the drama?

How about taking a couple of deep breaths before posting next time. Your original response (at least the tone you used) was very much uncalled for.