can I stay in the house?

[shouldhave]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MA

This is a 2nd marriage for both of us. We have been together for 10 years, married 4 (we wanted to make sure it was right before we married... that didn't work so well). We each have a child from a previous marriage. I have joint legal and primary custody of my child, he has joint legal but his ex has primary custody of his child- his child is with us probably 40% of the time. My child is with us 75% of the time.

SO, things are not going well, and came to a head recently and it appears as though we are heading towards a divorce. In my anger I said I was going to move out to an apartment, however in reality I do not want to move. We have been in our house only 2 years, and I really would like to stay in it. It was purchased just in my husbands name, however. I owned another house which was purchased during a high real estate market and it went to short sale so my credit was not great and my husband qualified for a first time home buyer incentive when we purchased it so it worked out better to have the house only in his name. My husband thinks that because this house is only in his name, he should be the one to stay in it. I feel that I should be the one to stay in it, especially since me moving would uproot my child from his residence. My child is on the Autism spectrum, not sure if that factors into it, but he doesn't do well with big changes and moving the last time pretty much threw him over the edge, and that was under happy circumstances. Not that I want to uproot his child, in fact I would like very much to keep his child in my life as much as possible, as I have been there since this child was 2.

This house was also purchased as a foreclosed house, so there is a bit of equity in it, probably around $50,000. There is some marital debt, not including vehicle loans, close to $12,000. I own my vehicle outright, he has a loan on his. There would be no child support obviously, and we make pretty much equal pay, so no spousal support.

I'm curious as to what my chances are of staying in my home, even temporarily until the divorce is final or I get any equity from the house if I am due any.

TIA

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MA

This is a 2nd marriage for both of us. We have been together for 10 years, married 4 (we wanted to make sure it was right before we married... that didn't work so well). We each have a child from a previous marriage. I have joint legal and primary custody of my child, he has joint legal but his ex has primary custody of his child- his child is with us probably 40% of the time. My child is with us 75% of the time.

SO, things are not going well, and came to a head recently and it appears as though we are heading towards a divorce. In my anger I said I was going to move out to an apartment, however in reality I do not want to move. We have been in our house only 2 years, and I really would like to stay in it. It was purchased just in my husbands name, however. I owned another house which was purchased during a high real estate market and it went to short sale so my credit was not great and my husband qualified for a first time home buyer incentive when we purchased it so it worked out better to have the house only in his name. My husband thinks that because this house is only in his name, he should be the one to stay in it. I feel that I should be the one to stay in it, especially since me moving would uproot my child from his residence. My child is on the Autism spectrum, not sure if that factors into it, but he doesn't do well with big changes and moving the last time pretty much threw him over the edge, and that was under happy circumstances. Not that I want to uproot his child, in fact I would like very much to keep his child in my life as much as possible, as I have been there since this child was 2.

This house was also purchased as a foreclosed house, so there is a bit of equity in it, probably around $50,000. There is some marital debt, not including vehicle loans, close to $12,000. I own my vehicle outright, he has a loan on his. There would be no child support obviously, and we make pretty much equal pay, so no spousal support.

I'm curious as to what my chances are of staying in my home, even temporarily until the divorce is final or I get any equity from the house if I am due any.

TIA

If you don't have an attorney, you need one.

This is the applicable statute: https://malegislature.gov/Laws/GeneralLaws/PartII

Oversimplified (but accurate) version: http://www.divorcenet.com/resources/divorce/marital-property-division/massachusetts-divorce-dividing

 

[Ohiogal]

Can you afford to pay your husband $25k and refinance in your name? If not, you will NOT be awarded the house long term.

 

[shouldhave]

Thank you for the quick replies.

No, I more than likely will not be able to refinance the house into my own name in the near future due to my credit issues with the short sale of my previous home, however I haven't really looked into that. Realistically the house is too much house (and mortgage) for either of us on our own, and selling it is probably the best answer. My husband wants me to move out, though, especially since I had said I would look at apartments in my initial burst of anger. Now that I have had time to think about it, I would like to stay in the house, at least until we go to court or until it sells. I'm not thinking very long term, I realize that probably isn't feasible. I'm thinking until this summer, when school is out and I am able to make the transition a little easier for my son. We are in a great school system and my son has everything set up through this school, so I would need to find a place to rent in a pretty small town that doesn't have a ton of rental options.

Things are pretty angry and tense in the house, and I don't see how we will be able to live in it together for any length of time. I guess I was curious if I would be given sole use of the house until the divorce is done if I asked for it. I would like to mediate- it seems silly for both of us to throw money at separate lawyers when we don't have kids together and it is a short term marriage, but I am not sure if I file for divorce asking for sole use of the house if I can still mediate.

I know the middle of the night isn't the best time to try to figure out your next step in life... I am going to call a couple lawyers that do free consults today and see what I can figure out.

Thanks again.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you for the quick replies.

No, I more than likely will not be able to refinance the house into my own name in the near future due to my credit issues with the short sale of my previous home, however I haven't really looked into that. Realistically the house is too much house (and mortgage) for either of us on our own, and selling it is probably the best answer. My husband wants me to move out, though, especially since I had said I would look at apartments in my initial burst of anger.

The court will determine who stays in the house. It very well could be your husband.

Now that I have had time to think about it, I would like to stay in the house, at least until we go to court or until it sells. I'm not thinking very long term, I realize that probably isn't feasible. I'm thinking until this summer, when school is out and I am able to make the transition a little easier for my son. We are in a great school system and my son has everything set up through this school, so I would need to find a place to rent in a pretty small town that doesn't have a ton of rental options.

Things are pretty angry and tense in the house, and I don't see how we will be able to live in it together for any length of time. I guess I was curious if I would be given sole use of the house until the divorce is done if I asked for it. I would like to mediate- it seems silly for both of us to throw money at separate lawyers when we don't have kids together and it is a short term marriage, but I am not sure if I file for divorce asking for sole use of the house if I can still mediate.

If you can't afford to pay all the bills in the house, most likely not. You can't expect spousal support for such a short marriage. Why should your husband have to move out of the house when his name is the only one on the deed and mortgage and he can most likely afford to pay for it on his own? You can request the court to order you both to mediation in your divorce filing for temporary orders.

I know the middle of the night isn't the best time to try to figure out your next step in life... I am going to call a couple lawyers that do free consults today and see what I can figure out.

Thanks again.

Question: Why should your husband's son be displaced during the divorce? Why do you feel you have a superior need or reason for the house? How are you going to afford the bills on the house if you have sole use?

 

[shouldhave]

The court will determine who stays in the house. It very well could be your husband.

Yes, it could very well be. This is what I'm curious about.



If you can't afford to pay all the bills in the house, most likely not. You can't expect spousal support for such a short marriage. Why should your husband have to move out of the house when his name is the only one on the deed and mortgage and he can most likely afford to pay for it on his own? You can request the court to order you both to mediation in your divorce filing for temporary orders.

I don't expect or want spousal support. My husband and I make pretty much the same amount of money yearly except that he pays child support for his child, and I receive it for my child so I end up making more. However he has a big vehicle loan and a snowmobile loan and spends his money much more freely than I do (one of our big issues). We can both afford to stay here, but it would be a lot tighter than it is now. I know only his name is on the deed- I wasn't sure if that factored into the courts decision for temporary orders or not.

Question: Why should your husband's son be displaced during the divorce? Why do you feel you have a superior need or reason for the house? How are you going to afford the bills on the house if you have sole use?

His child's primary residence is with his mother, he stays with us less than half the time so I don't see it as displacing him, at least not to the degree it would displace my child. I would like to keep my stepchild in my life and welcome in my home as much as possible. His mother has asked me to do this too, because she doesn't want him to lose the relationship and my husband has even said he wouldn't be opposed to his child spending time with me and my child, as they have essentially been siblings for 10 years. I also didn't know if the fact that my child is on the Autism Spectrum and doesn't do well with changes would factor in to this.

Thanks again.

ETA- I'm not sure how I messed up the quotes... I'm sorry.

 

[LdiJ]

His child's primary residence is with his mother, he stays with us less than half the time so I don't see it as displacing him, at least not to the degree it would displace my child. I would like to keep my stepchild in my life and welcome in my home as much as possible. His mother has asked me to do this too, because she doesn't want him to lose the relationship and my husband has even said he wouldn't be opposed to his child spending time with me and my child, as they have essentially been siblings for 10 years. I also didn't know if the fact that my child is on the Autism Spectrum and doesn't do well with changes would factor in to this.

Thanks again.

ETA- I'm not sure how I messed up the quotes... I'm sorry.

You can stay in the house until a judge orders you to move out. Its the marital residence and you have that right. Realistically however, despite your son's issues, you are not going to be given the right to solely occupy a house, even temporarily, that is solely in your husband's name. You are however, entitled to a share in the marital equity in the home.

 

[Ohiogal]

You can stay in the house until a judge orders you to move out. Its the marital residence and you have that right. Realistically however, despite your son's issues, you are not going to be given the right to solely occupy a house, even temporarily, that is solely in your husband's name. You are however, entitled to a share in the marital equity in the home.

Unless hubby agrees to her staying in the home temporarily.

 

[Ohiogal]

His child's primary residence is with his mother, he stays with us less than half the time so I don't see it as displacing him, at least not to the degree it would displace my child. I would like to keep my stepchild in my life and welcome in my home as much as possible. His mother has asked me to do this too, because she doesn't want him to lose the relationship and my husband has even said he wouldn't be opposed to his child spending time with me and my child, as they have essentially been siblings for 10 years. I also didn't know if the fact that my child is on the Autism Spectrum and doesn't do well with changes would factor in to this.

Thanks again.

ETA- I'm not sure how I messed up the quotes... I'm sorry.

Your child having AUTISM is not going to matter because this is not a child of the marriage. And yes, it would be displacing the stepchild who according to you is there 40% of the time. And don't count on keeping your stepchild in your life. You have no legal rights and while his parents may have said that, that doesn't mean it will happen.

 

[single317dad]

Legally, you can BOTH stay in the house until a judge rules otherwise. Separate residence can be established within the home if necessary, though this is more difficult with children who are not mutual. In the end, the two of you will be best off sitting down like adults and deciding rationally between yourselves how to divide the property and debts. Being attached to a house you can't afford is not in your best interest.