Can I sue Social Services and ex-girlfriend?

[Bhma7]

Recently I have been involved in a child support case in the state of New York and here is my problem: Department of social services and my ex-girlfriend have informed me 13 years later that I have a child (testing has proved that the child is mine). My ex informed me, at the time, that she was pregnant and then moved out a few days later without telling me where I could reach her and without conformation that the child was mine. She has been on public assistance for all these years and now Social Services wants me to pay them back $12,000. I have been living only 90 miles away from her and social services in the same state for all of these 13 years. This includes living in the same town,where my ex and I met, for 1 year after she became pregnant. I've been employed in this state,had a drivers liscense in this state,and have been paying taxes in this state for all these 13 years so what excuse does social services have for not finding me and informing me of this child. I believe that if social services had contacted me this child had a good chance of not being on public assistance and I would not be paying social services $12,000.
Therfore, I was wondering if there was any way I could sue social services and my ex for not providing me with this information and allowing this child to grow up without a father.

 

[VeronicaGia]

This happens to people all the time, including my husband.

The first thing you need to realize is that every state gets Federal dollars for every dollar they collect in child support as an incentive to collect.

Most if not all states mandate that TANF (AFDC) will be paid back by someone, and it is always the NCP, mostly fathers. You are not in this boat alone, but you most likely have no recourse. They want their money and couldn't care less about you. That's reality.

Do you have an attorney? Have you signed papers yet? With an attorney, you may be able to get this reduced, but do not count on it. BTW, this will now be on your credit report and they will continue to charge you interest at the going rate. Don't know what NY charges.

This link will give you the basics, including interest charges:

www.ocse3.acf.dhhs.gov/ext/irg/sps/selectastate.cfm

Click on NY. Call a few attorney's for a free consultation. Ask specific questions - write them down first if you have to, and try to write down answers. Then find the State Law Center on this site and read up on NY child support laws. File for visitation rights and/or joint custody.

A few more websites that may be helpful:

www.deltabravo.net (this site has a "fathers issues" board

www.ancpr.org (Alliance for Non-Custodial Parents Rights)

www.dads4kids.com (has state links)

Good luck.

 

[kat1963]

Oh, they are TELLING you are they? Go court, request a DNA test then let the judge decide what you can or can't be held accountable for. I wouldn't pay them a dime without a court order. You know, they can legally take 65% of your paycheck to pay for this mess don't you? Get a lawyer. Also note that the amount can be negotiated for about 1/2. I highly doubt you can sue them or her. Get visitation rights if you are so inclinded. Since it's been so long, to be honest, I wonder if they just haven't run out of potential dads and you are next on the list. But really, my DH lived in the same house for 12 years, worked at the same company, drove the same car and they came after him for 26,000 (and she didn't have the kids, they were with him, she just kept collecting and collecting, never bothered to close the file, stole mail, forwarded his mail to her fake po box, you name, the sloth did it). It's all cleared up now, (cept for the criminal charges, which they are playing games with) I tell you, you have to put up a fight.
KAT

 

[blueboy]

Forgive me, but if your girlfriend tells you that she is pregnate and then leaves, weren't you curious about the baby?
If you were then why couldn't you find her? Like you said she lives in the same state. She was on public assistance so it wouldn't have been hard to find her. I gotta say usually I am on the side of fathers, but I can't choose a side in this one. You were both wrong, and a little selfish. She could have found you and you could have found her, but instead of finding eachother you let your child turn 12 without a dad. Sorry, but shame on both of you.
You are complaining about $12,000, and do you know how many times your child said hey mom where is my dad? Do you wonder if he/she was made fun of for not having a dad? Do you know who your child's baby sitter was? What school does he/she go to? Does your child need braces? Does your child wear glasses? How many times has your child been hurt? Who hurt your baby? If you can't answer these questions then you should put aside the money worries for a while and think about your child. Yeah, you are going to pay the bigger price money wise but your child's had to grow up without a dad. Suck it up buddy, and pay up.

 

[PoohBear8]

i live in pa, so your state may be different, BUT, when a person files for public assistance for a child, they are required to file for child support from the ncp. i imagine most states require this. if so, how did she get the assistance without petitioning for a cs order? especially since no dna test has been done.
check to see if a cs order was ever made and you were not properly notified. don't just pay this. you're probably going to need an attorney.
good luck.