Can inquirying by merely asking in Email make me Libel?

[Lost_Lilly]

Utah is my state Can inquirying by merely asking in Email make me Libel?

there has been a dark family secret,true or not in my fam and we are close so I wrote to my Aunt and asked her if indeed it was true or a Lie my Mother had told me all of my Life but I needed to know if perhaps My Aunt I know gross be prepared, concieved a child w my Dad.so I said I meant no harm but all of my life my mother told me that this happened and i assumed my Aunt lost the baby or something,until recently she spoke of a daughter whom she had to give up for adoption and she sent me a picture of her and she looked just like me.. i never spoke of it all my life.but I am sick my health is fading and she had spoke of this daughter of hers and sent me pictures and she looks like me and my sisters which could mean nothing..its just this rumor my mother raised me to believe since I can remember and so I asked her in an email and now she turned cold as ice and has supposedly gotten an attorney in my state she says I will be reciving papers and that I am Libel.She Likewise sent my email to her and her cold remarks back to my entire family and friends.Isnt that defaming me?anyways my emotional distress is so bad and I am crushed..I know what a horrible question to ever have to ask but I meant no harm and can she really do anything to me legally for asking ..I mean I have kept it in all these yrs and went straight to the source instead of passing rumors.I went to her.She is saying to all of my fam and friends that I am rumer mongoring and abusing and setting allegations towards all of them.and honestly i want to cry i feel like a little child who is being ganged up on for just asking the truth..there was no allegations i never accused her of anything,it was my mother who raised me to believe this, that was my mom all my life..is there a way my Aunt can truly hurt me like this for just asking a question? Is a person with good intent and genuine heart merely asking a question from her Aunt who was close does she really have rights to sue me for being Libel? If anything I feel my name is being completely defamed by her mass emails to my family and friends..please I beg of you please help me..I cannot sleep or eat my heart is broken~Lilly

 

[las365]

Lilly,
First I want to help you understand the terminology you are dealing with.
"Libel" is written defamation of character (and "slander" is spoken defamation of character). "Liable" is legal fault or responsibility. I'm not talking down to you, just explaining the difference between these two words that sound very similar but have very different meanings.

I'm not a lawyer or an expert, but generally, to libel someone, you have to publish the untrue, damaging statement(s) to third parties. If you only sent the email to your aunt, you did not commit libel. Her choice to publish the email to others does not create liability for you.

However, your email may be evidence that your mother slandered your aunt, if the allegation is untrue.

Defamation lawsuits are expensive to pursue. It is probably unlikely that your aunt will sue you for defamation. However, to be on the safe side, you should probably avoid discussing or emailing about the situation with others.

Other posters who know a lot about this subject will be along and may have other advice to offer.

 

[quincy]

Las is correct in her response. I only wish to add a few things.

Emails are not a private way to communicate - and therefore it is dangerous to communicate private information in an email. If your aunt's computer is shared (perhaps with your uncle or cousins?), and the email was seen by someone other than your aunt (prior to her own sharing of the email with others), then that can be a basis for a defamation action or even an invasion of privacy action. If you knew the computer was a family computer, as well, then your aunt would have an easier time showing it was sent without "due care" - demonstrating fault on your part.

If the "dark family secret" is true, that would be a legitimate defense for you against any defamation charges (if you can prove its truth) - however that would not prevent an invasion of privacy claim. "Dark family secrets" are kept secret for a reason.

Asking a question of someone can or cannot be libelous, depending on how it is worded. If it is a straight question, that is worded so that it does not state or imply any facts but merely asks if something is factual or not, it would generally not be considered defamatory. In your situation, it may rest on what else was contained in the email, including any information you might have added about your mother telling you this "secret". If this was included in the email, a "third party" (your mother) is identified, which is enough to prove "publication" of a defamatory comment, even without anyone in your aunt's immediate family, or someone with access to her computer, seeing the email.

Defamation suits, and invasion of privacy suits, are extremely expensive to bring, and whether your aunt feels her reputation has been damaged enough by the content of the email to go to the expense of filing suit is anyone's guess. The fact that she sent your email to others may be her way of explaining any court action she is deciding to take against you, although this act on her part may also hurt any defamation or invasion of privacy action she is considering, by spreading the "defamatory" comments to others herself.

The bottom line is that even a person "with good intent and genuine heart" can get sued. It will be up to your aunt and her attorney to decide if any action is worth pursuing. Hopefully your other family members will discourage any lawsuit.

 

[Hot Topic]

You should have known what might happen when you decided after all these years that you needed to know the truth from your aunt about the "dark family secret."

You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and try to understand why your aunt feels like she does. She probably won't take any legal action, but I suspect that you'll worry for the rest of your life that she might. Maybe that's not right, but sometimes we pay heavily when we put our wants and needs first.

 

[quincy]

I agree with most of what you say, Hot Topic, although there is a statute of limitations on defamation actions. They vary a little state to state - in most states you must file suit within one year after first publication (or when the person defamed first becomes aware of the publication), in others there is a two or three year limit. So if the aunt is considering a suit, she would have to bring it within this time frame.

There have been defamation cases (and invasion of privacy cases) that have arisen years after comments were first published - where a defamatory story written years before has been revived and retold - however these situations are rare.


(thanks for editing for grammar, by the way! )

 

[Lost_Lilly]

responding to libel email inquiry only

Sorry about my Grammer still new here and learning..you see I never published nor spoke to anyone about this I only asked a simple question from my Aunt.And now feel she is defaming my reputation by seding my email to all friends and Family.I only asked i am just like a kid who has known a scret far too long and with ill health felt it needed to know if there was anything to it.how can someone be held Libel for that?makes no sense we were close family.

 

[quincy]

Don't worry about your grammar. There are no rules about that here. I was merely addressing that comment to Hot Topic because I noticed he had actually edited his post to correct his.

If you have always been a close family, then I doubt if your aunt will take this matter as far as a libel suit. She is probably not as upset with you, anyway, as she is at your mother for telling you something like that in the first place. What do your mother and father say about all of this?

Your aunt is not libeling you by sending your email to others, by the way - although I find it odd and a bit cruel that she did so.

Hopefully no lawsuit will come of this - but I think we spelled out above how a suit could be possible in your situation. It is always best to have personal conversations one-on-one with someone. Emails are very impersonal, and letters in general can lead to misunderstandings. Plus, written words stick around to be read over and over, where spoken words are easier to forget.

Perhaps if you can meet with your aunt or call her and talk to her personally, and discuss the whole matter with her, you can get this all straightened out???

Just be careful what you say. From what you posted about the "secret", if true it is, I am sure, a VERY sensitive issue for her. If false, she is probably, and understandably, very angry that anyone would think that or say that.

 

[Hot Topic]

Very good, quincy, except for the part about my being a "he."

I agree that the OP should make an effort to talk to her aunt, but only if she loses the attitude that she, the OP, has been victimized due to her "innocent" inquiry. I don't see her doing that, but then, I don't "get" why she "needs" to have "the truth" on a situation she herself described as "gross." I wouldn't do what the aunt did, but I can understand why someone in that situation would want to punish the person who brought it up for a questionable reason.

 

[quincy]

Sorry about the gender mix-up, Hot Topic.

I have been trying to place myself in Lilly's position, and it has been difficult.

I know of one "secret" in my family (not a "gross" one, just personal and sensitive) but I cannot imagine myself, no matter how hard I try, approaching the subject of this secret and asking about it. And I am, by nature, a very curious person. I have always figured it is up to the person involved to bring it up first - and if he doesn't, so be it.

I agree that the "victim" here is the aunt and not Lilly, even if Lilly feels she had the best of intentions in broaching the subject with her aunt.