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Can Military dependent refuse dependent support

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NBA2KFANBOY

New member
Texas

Me and my wife got into a really bad argument/disagreement 6 months ago she moved out and has since gotten a job and her own apartment in D.C. She is refusing to allow me to set up an allotment or send her any money saying she doesn’t need anything from me and to no return until I retire from the Army. I only have 2 years left until retirement and we had a fight over me wanting kids and her not.

I do not want a divorce and I’m hoping she doesn’t either. I live outpost and collect the local bah rate for my current duty station. I know per regulation I am supposed to send her money to help her pay for rent but she is refusing. Plus the amount of rent I pay for our home is almost all of the bah anyway...what is it that I can do In this situation? Finance is saying that you can't change to without dependent rate as long as you have dependents.


People say it’s bah fraud if you are married and don’t live with your spouse or give them money...but it’s hard to give money to someone who doesn’t accept it. I think she just got fed up putting her life on hold coming to these small towns with me basically screwing her career.
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
Texas

Me and my wife got into a really bad argument/disagreement 6 months ago she moved out and has since gotten a job and her own apartment in D.C. She is refusing to allow me to set up an allotment or send her any money saying she doesn’t need anything from me and to no return until I retire from the Army. I only have 2 years left until retirement and we had a fight over me wanting kids and her not.

I do not want a divorce and I’m hoping she doesn’t either. I live outpost and collect the local bah rate for my current duty station. I know per regulation I am supposed to send her money to help her pay for rent but she is refusing. Plus the amount of rent I pay for our home is almost all of the bah anyway...what is it that I can do In this situation? Finance is saying that you can't change to without dependent rate as long as you have dependents.


People say it’s bah fraud if you are married and don’t live with your spouse or give them money...but it’s hard to give money to someone who doesn’t accept it. I think she just got fed up putting her life on hold coming to these small towns with me basically screwing her career.
Open a checking account for your wife. Put the money in the account.
 

Shadowbunny

Queen of the Not-Rights
It's not BAH fraud (unless the marriage was simply to get BAH). So don't listen to the barracks lawyers. But what you SHOULD do is talk to your post's legal office. Ask them the best way to handle it. It's free to do so, and you can set your mind at ease.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Texas

Me and my wife got into a really bad argument/disagreement 6 months ago she moved out and has since gotten a job and her own apartment in D.C. She is refusing to allow me to set up an allotment or send her any money saying she doesn’t need anything from me and to no return until I retire from the Army. I only have 2 years left until retirement and we had a fight over me wanting kids and her not.

I do not want a divorce and I’m hoping she doesn’t either. I live outpost and collect the local bah rate for my current duty station. I know per regulation I am supposed to send her money to help her pay for rent but she is refusing. Plus the amount of rent I pay for our home is almost all of the bah anyway...what is it that I can do In this situation? Finance is saying that you can't change to without dependent rate as long as you have dependents.


People say it’s bah fraud if you are married and don’t live with your spouse or give them money...but it’s hard to give money to someone who doesn’t accept it. I think she just got fed up putting her life on hold coming to these small towns with me basically screwing her career.
I thought that someone suggested that you put it in a bank account in her name, but I don't think that's possible. However, you might sock it away in a joint savings account in case she decides she wants it or you do end up getting divorced and she makes a claim that you weren't paying her.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I thought that someone suggested that you put it in a bank account in her name, but I don't think that's possible. However, you might sock it away in a joint savings account in case she decides she wants it or you do end up getting divorced and she makes a claim that you weren't paying her.
I had suggested on another forum that the OP put the money in to an account for his wife (paraphrased). I was not suggesting that the OP can open an account in his wife's name. I don't believe the others were either. The OP can't open a joint account without the wife's permission either.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I had suggested on another forum that the OP put the money in to an account for his wife (paraphrased). I was not suggesting that the OP can open an account in his wife's name. I don't believe the others were either. The OP can't open a joint account without the wife's permission either.
I've opened joint accounts (and closed them as well) without the other person's signature. However, the last time I did it was about 20 years ago so perhaps things have changed since then.
 

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