Can my ex easily change custody orers

[shegoose]

My ex husband has had no interest in raising his children, so when he left me three years ago for another woman, he gave me full physical custody. He was getting married and going on a cruise and wanted a quickie divorce. Although he hit and abused me, I readily agreed to a uncontested divorce because I had my children. He has half legal custody in the state of New Hampshire. Mike, my ex, is now building a house in an adjacent town. Fortunately, I moved into a different school district only a few mos. before Mike announced he was building. He pays 1300 in child support for my three children- 40 percent of his income, aside from his living expenses and insurance payments. Mike doesn't want to pay any more, so he has filed in court for half physical custody. He never used much of his visitation and has hardly anything to do with his children. I have stayed at home to raise my children. They are in a loving environment. To win, Mike says he will prove that the children are in harm to stay with me. I feel that if felt they were in harm he should have filed for full physical custody. Won't a judge see through this? I have statements from the school and the children's entire pediatric office that I should remain the sole physical custodian. I want my children to have a stable home environment. I could no bear to lose them for half a month each month. Do they normally change custody like this? Mike has always said I am a good mother, and just three years ago left me with full physical custody. Won't the court see that this is financially motivated? I just found out in court yesterday that Mike is going for half physical custody. He claims to have a ton of witnesses who will say I am a bad mother. I don't even know his family, and have not even spoken to them since the birth of my first daughter. I have never even spoken to Mike's new wife. I have never had contact with her. Can this custody change happen? Should I be really worried? Is there anything anybody can tell me that might be useful to bring up in court? My lawyer is fairly new to my case and I am worried sick. I can't imagine losing half custody as I know it would destroy the children's balance and stability. Thanks for any help. Sheena

 

[MySonsMom]

Most likely, this will never happen. I wouldn't worry about it. Shared custody rarely happens when one parent disagrees to it. If he wants to pursue this, he will have to do it the legal way. You will be contacted, then you obtain an attorney and fight it. But in all honestly, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. Most likely, he won't succeed in his ridiculous crusade. Good luck!

 

[usmcfamily]

get out your phonebook....

The first thing you do when you finish reading this post is get out your phonebook and find yourself an attorney! I understand that with three children finances may be tight, but most attorneys offer free initial consultation and are from there very likely to be willing to work on a plan for payment by you - just ask. Please don't let $$ stand in the way of defending yourself in this. Another great idea for you is to contact your state Bar Association and ask for a referral to an attorney in your area with experience in this type of case - this will put you in touch with someone who can help in your specific case and is also likely to get you in touch with someone who is willing to work with you financially.
As anyone who has experience in the family court system in this country can tell you - nothing is ever easy! Without confirmable proof of his bad parenting claims your husband will find himself hardpressed to have the children removed from your care. He willingly allowed the children to remain in your custody and that will speak volumes for you - if he were worried about your abilities he should have asked for custody from the get-go. Provide your attorney with documented proof of just how much time your ex has spent with his children, the statements from your physicians and a list of your own character witnesses who can speak of your abilities to parent.
I am not saying you should not be worried - no one can say how this case will go until the judge speaks, but it is seeming highly unlikely from your side of the story that the change would be granted on the information provided thus far - however, there are always two sides to every story and the judge will have the benefit of both while we have only yours so ultimately the decision will lie with them. I would suggest that you stick to provable fact when court-day comes and do not resort to the type of mudslinging you think your ex is going to use - that will only make your case harder to hold up -- stick to the fact, do not get ugly, do not attack --despite what most people seem to think, judges don't like to be in the middle of such displays of immaturity from the very people fighting over who deserves to parent minor children. If you have been the good mother it sounds as though you have been I would say your worries should be few - but please secure yourself an attorney today to reassure you on that, k?
Good luck and God Bless