Can my father help me?

[LightTheBeacon]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I live in South Carolina, my father lives in Ohio.

I am sixteen years old, turning seventeen in about a month and a half. My mother and I are having extreme difficulties and I just now sucked it up to tell my father what has been going on here. I have not been enrolled in any kind of schooling since I was pulled out in seventh grade. I should be in eleventh by now. As many times as I have asked to do online, tutoring, go back to a school, she has forbade it. I am now struggling to get a permit, as my mother has 'lost' my social security card. With each day that passes, I grow older and more frustrated. She has still been 'working on it' for a year and a half. I am not a stupid girl, I do know she will never get those things for me.

I believe that I am verbally and emotionally abused by my mother. She was on pills years ago for Bipolar Disorder, but does not take them now, thinking her vegan diet will be the cure to all.

I would like to go live with my father so I can begin my life, starting with getting my Birth Certificate, Social Security Card, License, GED. This will take me a long time... I am worried that if I am stuck waiting till I am eighteen that my life will just plummet. I have told my father everything, he knows what is going on and should be speaking to a lawyer soon. My question is: If I jump on a train and head to Ohio, can that be considered him kidnapping me? Also, is there a way for me to be able to leave without going through the court...? I have two very young little sisters and I know my mother can be arrested for what she is doing. I do not want them to be in foster care, though I know I cannot take them on my journey with me... I just need out of this house before all hell breaks loose, and I definitely do not want to be here if my mother receives court papers.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I live in South Carolina, my father lives in Ohio.

I am sixteen years old, turning seventeen in about a month and a half. My mother and I are having extreme difficulties and I just now sucked it up to tell my father what has been going on here. I have not been enrolled in any kind of schooling since I was pulled out in seventh grade. I should be in eleventh by now. As many times as I have asked to do online, tutoring, go back to a school, she has forbade it. I am now struggling to get a permit, as my mother has 'lost' my social security card. With each day that passes, I grow older and more frustrated. She has still been 'working on it' for a year and a half. I am not a stupid girl, I do know she will never get those things for me.

I believe that I am verbally and emotionally abused by my mother. She was on pills years ago for Bipolar Disorder, but does not take them now, thinking her vegan diet will be the cure to all.

I would like to go live with my father so I can begin my life, starting with getting my Birth Certificate, Social Security Card, License, GED. This will take me a long time... I am worried that if I am stuck waiting till I am eighteen that my life will just plummet. I have told my father everything, he knows what is going on and should be speaking to a lawyer soon. My question is: If I jump on a train and head to Ohio, can that be considered him kidnapping me? Also, is there a way for me to be able to leave without going through the court...? I have two very young little sisters and I know my mother can be arrested for what she is doing. I do not want them to be in foster care, though I know I cannot take them on my journey with me... I just need out of this house before all hell breaks loose, and I definitely do not want to be here if my mother receives court papers.

Jumping a train over to Dad's is the fastest way to make sure you don't leave Mom's until you're adult.

Now. The question is, when was Dad made aware that you were not attending school? How much contact do you have? Perhaps more to the point - can Mom show that you're being home-schooled?

 

[CJane]

Your father can request that a copy of your BC be mailed to him (assuming he's legally your father), and once he has that he can request a copy of your social security card. Those can then be mailed to you by him.

(Don't we get a very similar thread about 2x/year?)

 

[LightTheBeacon]

Jumping a train over to Dad's is the fastest way to make sure you don't leave Mom's until you're adult.

Now. The question is, when was Dad made aware that you were not attending school? How much contact do you have? Perhaps more to the point - can Mom show that you're being home-schooled?

He was just made aware of it yesterday. I can contact him on Wednesday's, Friday's, and Saturdays without my mother hearing. And no, because I have not done any kind of schooling in four years.

 

[LightTheBeacon]

Your father can request that a copy of your BC be mailed to him (assuming he's legally your father), and once he has that he can request a copy of your social security card. Those can then be mailed to you by him.

(Don't we get a very similar thread about 2x/year?)

Apparently it is not that easy. He has to have a doctor's report/school things/my ID to get a social security card for me. Which I have none of because I'm not allowed to go to a doctor, go to school, and I cannot get any kind of ID without a Social Security card.

 

[cheesecake46580]

Apparently it is not that easy. He has to have a doctor's report/school things/my ID to get a social security card for me. Which I have none of because I'm not allowed to go to a doctor, go to school, and I cannot get any kind of ID without a Social Security card.

you can call social services yourself and let them know what is going on if there are indeed problems they can do a kinship placement with your dad and he can file for custody from there. you need to be in school period. it is educational neglect and medical neglect if she don't provide schooling or medical for you and your siblings simple as that. I also has a CASA family who needed help getting BC and ss cards and dcs somehow helped them do that as well.

 

[LightTheBeacon]

you can call social services yourself and let them know what is going on if there are indeed problems they can do a kinship placement with your dad and he can file for custody from there. you need to be in school period. it is educational neglect and medical neglect if she don't provide schooling or medical for you and your siblings simple as that. I also has a CASA family who needed help getting BC and ss cards and dcs somehow helped them do that as well.

But this can end up putting my mother in jail and my sisters into the foster care system. I doubt I will be able to take them both with me and support them in the ways they need. My father is an older man, he does not need toddlers running around... This is my dilemma, I want to get my life at least close to on track before I go adding more to the pile. I want to make sure I can help them do what I am doing when the time comes.

 

[CJane]

Apparently it is not that easy. He has to have a doctor's report/school things/my ID to get a social security card for me. Which I have none of because I'm not allowed to go to a doctor, go to school, and I cannot get any kind of ID without a Social Security card.

Well, that's not exactly accurate.

It IS very easy to get a copy of your BC. In fact, YOU could do it online - click the link that says "VitalCheck", and get a debit/credit card # from your father.
http://www.scdhec.gov/VitalRecords/BirthCertificates/

If you're 16 or over, you can seek medical care w/out your parent present. So you could go to the doctor, get a check up, get copies of your records, and use those in conjunction with your birth certificate to get a social security card.
https://www.scbar.org/public/files/docs/Public/KidsLaw2006.pdf
http://www.socialsecurity.gov/ssnumber/ss5doc.htm

Once you have a social security card and birth certificate, you can get a state ID card.
http://www.scdmvonline.com/dmvnew/default.aspx?n=accepted_forms_of_identification


It really is that easy, if you take the steps in order, and make an effort.

 

[Eekamouse]

Are your younger sisters in school? Does your mother take them to the doctor for check ups? Why would you not care about them and what she is depriving them of if your mother is doing the same to them? Why has no one noticed that you aren't in school and haven't been for several years?

 

[single317dad]

Forgive me if I'm off base here, but our OP seems very well spoken for a child who was never educated past 7th grade. This reads more like Dad than Son.

At any rate, if you follow the steps given in CJane's post, you (whether Dad or Son) can indeed obtain birth and Social Security record. It's not hard at all for the parent of a child to do (I had to do it three times when my son's mother "lost" all his paperwork yet again).

I wouldn't count on the help of social services for getting me across state lines. They may be of help to the little ones, though.

 

[Zigner]

Forgive me if I'm off base here, but our OP seems very well spoken for a child who was never educated past 7th grade. This reads more like Dad than Son.

At any rate, if you follow the steps given in CJane's post, you (whether Dad or Son) can indeed obtain birth and Social Security record. It's not hard at all for the parent of a child to do (I had to do it three times when my son's mother "lost" all his paperwork yet again).

I wouldn't count on the help of social services for getting me across state lines. They may be of help to the little ones, though.

I totally agree.

I do just want to point out that the OP purports to be a daughter, not a son.

 

[LdiJ]

Apparently it is not that easy. He has to have a doctor's report/school things/my ID to get a social security card for me. Which I have none of because I'm not allowed to go to a doctor, go to school, and I cannot get any kind of ID without a Social Security card.

No he doesn't. All he needs is your birth certificate in order to get a print out of your social security number. Its true that he cannot get the actual card itself without some additional ID, but he can get an official printout with your number.

 

[Silverplum]

Forgive me if I'm off base here, but our OP seems very well spoken for a child who was never educated past 7th grade.

My first thought upon reading the OP.

 

[stealth2]

I'm trying to understand how a parent of a 16yo (taking OP's story at face value) is interested in having the child live w/him, yet has no clue the child has not been in school. Hate to say it, but Girl? He's not that into you.

 

[Eekamouse]

I'm trying to understand how a parent of a 16yo (taking OP's story at face value) is interested in having the child live w/him, yet has no clue the child has not been in school. Hate to say it, but Girl? He's not that into you.

Now I have to clean my monitor of the juice I just sprayed all over it!