R
Roxanne Blair
Guest
I was married 4 times, the first lasted 20 yrs. , 6 children. Second, a rebound marriage to a man I
viewed as a rescuer, I put him on a pedestal and my kids hated him and he hated them,lasted 4
yrs.. Third, married a sweet & gentle older man that suddenly had a heart attack one day and I
became a widow after 3 short yrs.. Now we get to the 4th!! One yr. after my 3rd. husband
passed away, I went to a Halloween dance and Cinderella met Zorro!!! He mentioned to me while
dancing that I looked like his 4th wife! I became his 4th wife and oddly enough he became my 4th
husband. We married 2 months later. He has 4 grown children.
My children thought that I lost my mind and disliked my husband thinking he brain washed me!
He really didn’t, I loved him and felt that he was my soul mate.
It has been 8 yrs.. Four years ago I was disgusted with my husband never doing anything on his
own and left him a note, it read, Take out the Dog, Stop! Feed the Dog, Stop! Take out the trash,
Stop! What don’t you understand, Stop! I am the mother of 6 and didn’t need another child to
tell what to do! I know it was unfeeling of me when I know now that he felt intimidated by me
owning the home! If we had mortgage payments I guess he would have felt superior and accepted
responsibility! Upon receiving the note he bought a trailer and although he didn’t move out, we
fixed it up and he resold it and made a profit! Two years past, his resentments from that note
lingered! For about a week he told me that he was visiting old friends! He bought another trailer!
This time he did move out! His reason initially was that he was leaving me, then when he felt that
he wanted to keep me around, it became a home away from home to defray a 3 hr. commute back
and forth to work. I had to be content to only see him on the weekends. One day my son put on a
deck for him. Two people came up and he introduced them as his ex wife and her husband, For
about a yr. he had me convinced that the 2 people were just neighbors from the park and that my
son lied! Christmas Eve I was frightened of the coming yr. 2000 computer scare and left him
know that my heart was not into celebrating! When he asked what we were having for dinner
Christmas Day, I was flip and said Hot Dogs!! He walked out and went back to his trailer!
Christmas Day came and I was alone! My daughter felt that I should talk things out with my
husband so she left her Dinner guests at her home wait and she drove me to visit my husband.
Upon arriving his trailer was dark and he was not home. While exiting the park we noticed his car
parked outside another trailer! We stopped beside him and he was in the car with a woman and a
boy. He said that she came over to his trailer to see if he was all right beings that he was not
usually there on Holidays or weekends. She then left him know that her car broke down and he
offered to drive her to pick up her son at her sisters where he was visiting! My daughter and I
then met him at his trailer where he explained the above excuse. My daughter then drove me
back home! In the next week I took offense at this woman keeping tabs on my husband and told
my husband that I was going to confront her! He told me that if I were to come over there and
start any trouble with her that he would not only have the park manager escort me from the park
but would also have me arrested! He took off work 4 days thinking that I would show up!
On New Years Eve he came home after we agreed to get counseling. On New Years day he told me
the truth. His ex wife not only lives next to him but she was instrumental in helping him find a
place to leave me!! She was the friend that he was meeting with when he came home late! He
tells me that shes his best friend! The woman he gave a ride to was her friend!! He says that he
had to lie to me about his ex wife because he thought that I couldn’t handle the truth! I started
going to his trailer in the spring from Sunday to Wednesday, but feeling insecure about his
neighbors I made more and more excuses to stay home till finally I stopped going at all by fall!
His park does not allow dogs and I can’t leave the dog alone in the back yard for more than 3 days!
In the winter I can’t visit at all! It’s too cold out! The dog is old and I totally refuse to take her
to the pound and have them put her to sleep! I know I threw my daughters out to keep my
marriage but they could take care of themselves, the dog can’t!!
Now another year has past and he still lives there and till recently came here on week ends.
My sister died suddenly on a Sunday which devastated me. I grieved alone all week and he came
home again on Friday. My daughter called on Saturday and said that she was beaten up again by
her companion of 7 yrs. when she caught him buying adult videos. I told her that it was wrong for
him to hit her but I didn’t see why she took offense. If he’s buying videos he’s not with another
woman!! My husband made their fight ours when he looks upon my daughter as the same prude as
me! His main complaint with me is that I’m not interested in sex! I am but over the years I’ve
become resentful of living alone and feel abandoned and unloved !! When he comes home Friday
night he expects me to be a super sexy willing wife! Only talking to him for 10 minutes during the
week did nothing to make me want to be the kind of wife that he expected and when there was
bad weather and he skipped week ends that made it even worse. Saturday he emptied his
drawers,took off his ring, packed up his car and out the door he went again! I couldn’t believe
that he could be so insensitive when mourning my only sister was already devastating me! Because
he was not here during the week I guess he thought that my mourning should be over! It wasn’t
and never will be!! This was 3 weeks ago. I call him on occasion but he won’t call me and when we
do talk he’s always blaming me for the note and accusing me of being sexually cold!! For 3 days
I’ve been ill with a virus and I left him know this 2 days ago. Yesterday he called and said that he
was having men come over with a truck to take his bar, piano and various other things. He bought a
boat 4 months ago and it’s sitting in the driveway and he said that he will find a place to store it
and will be taking that too! I told him that I’m absolutely not going to lay sick on the sofa while
strange men move things out around me!! My 3rd husband left me money and I have a some left
after 10 years but I don’t know how long it will last. I had a job 5 yrs. ago that I almost was fired
from because my daughters didn’t get along with my husband. I had to take off a lot of days to
keep the peace! I eventually quit my job before getting fired and had my daughters move
elsewhere! My husband feels that things are not going to change and he wants out! Isn’t he
already out? I suggested that we get counseling by a professional marriage counselor. He didn’t
respond! He says that there is no one else but I don’t know if this is true or not! He lives too far
away for me to ever find out and I won’t drive that distance with my car running so badly!
My husband ran for Congress in 98 and Auditor General in 2000. Both campaigns I helped him!
Now he’s not running for anything and I thought now he would have more time for us but it didn’t
work out that way! I feel that his running for public office didn’t help our marriage. With so
many people admiring him, he became more aloof and self centered! Now he feels that I can be
replaced easily for a woman that’s less problematic that will be eager to put him on the pedestal
that he deserves! His trailer has to be sold by 4/01 in order to sell on lot. He offered to sell it
and move back but I’m worried if after he made a profit how long would it be before he decided
to move out again! I’m too mentally exhausted to be able to withstand it another time!!
Should I keep trying to hold on or should I give up and close the revolving door? I Love my
husband but he’s driving me crazy! I know that theres two sides to the story but I've tryed to be honest and unbiased. Sorry so long but I did leave a lot out! Any advice would be appreciated! I would like to know what
rights I have if he insists on sending men here to take out his mentioned items.Any advice would be
appreciated!
Thanks so much! [email protected]
viewed as a rescuer, I put him on a pedestal and my kids hated him and he hated them,lasted 4
yrs.. Third, married a sweet & gentle older man that suddenly had a heart attack one day and I
became a widow after 3 short yrs.. Now we get to the 4th!! One yr. after my 3rd. husband
passed away, I went to a Halloween dance and Cinderella met Zorro!!! He mentioned to me while
dancing that I looked like his 4th wife! I became his 4th wife and oddly enough he became my 4th
husband. We married 2 months later. He has 4 grown children.
My children thought that I lost my mind and disliked my husband thinking he brain washed me!
He really didn’t, I loved him and felt that he was my soul mate.
It has been 8 yrs.. Four years ago I was disgusted with my husband never doing anything on his
own and left him a note, it read, Take out the Dog, Stop! Feed the Dog, Stop! Take out the trash,
Stop! What don’t you understand, Stop! I am the mother of 6 and didn’t need another child to
tell what to do! I know it was unfeeling of me when I know now that he felt intimidated by me
owning the home! If we had mortgage payments I guess he would have felt superior and accepted
responsibility! Upon receiving the note he bought a trailer and although he didn’t move out, we
fixed it up and he resold it and made a profit! Two years past, his resentments from that note
lingered! For about a week he told me that he was visiting old friends! He bought another trailer!
This time he did move out! His reason initially was that he was leaving me, then when he felt that
he wanted to keep me around, it became a home away from home to defray a 3 hr. commute back
and forth to work. I had to be content to only see him on the weekends. One day my son put on a
deck for him. Two people came up and he introduced them as his ex wife and her husband, For
about a yr. he had me convinced that the 2 people were just neighbors from the park and that my
son lied! Christmas Eve I was frightened of the coming yr. 2000 computer scare and left him
know that my heart was not into celebrating! When he asked what we were having for dinner
Christmas Day, I was flip and said Hot Dogs!! He walked out and went back to his trailer!
Christmas Day came and I was alone! My daughter felt that I should talk things out with my
husband so she left her Dinner guests at her home wait and she drove me to visit my husband.
Upon arriving his trailer was dark and he was not home. While exiting the park we noticed his car
parked outside another trailer! We stopped beside him and he was in the car with a woman and a
boy. He said that she came over to his trailer to see if he was all right beings that he was not
usually there on Holidays or weekends. She then left him know that her car broke down and he
offered to drive her to pick up her son at her sisters where he was visiting! My daughter and I
then met him at his trailer where he explained the above excuse. My daughter then drove me
back home! In the next week I took offense at this woman keeping tabs on my husband and told
my husband that I was going to confront her! He told me that if I were to come over there and
start any trouble with her that he would not only have the park manager escort me from the park
but would also have me arrested! He took off work 4 days thinking that I would show up!
On New Years Eve he came home after we agreed to get counseling. On New Years day he told me
the truth. His ex wife not only lives next to him but she was instrumental in helping him find a
place to leave me!! She was the friend that he was meeting with when he came home late! He
tells me that shes his best friend! The woman he gave a ride to was her friend!! He says that he
had to lie to me about his ex wife because he thought that I couldn’t handle the truth! I started
going to his trailer in the spring from Sunday to Wednesday, but feeling insecure about his
neighbors I made more and more excuses to stay home till finally I stopped going at all by fall!
His park does not allow dogs and I can’t leave the dog alone in the back yard for more than 3 days!
In the winter I can’t visit at all! It’s too cold out! The dog is old and I totally refuse to take her
to the pound and have them put her to sleep! I know I threw my daughters out to keep my
marriage but they could take care of themselves, the dog can’t!!
Now another year has past and he still lives there and till recently came here on week ends.
My sister died suddenly on a Sunday which devastated me. I grieved alone all week and he came
home again on Friday. My daughter called on Saturday and said that she was beaten up again by
her companion of 7 yrs. when she caught him buying adult videos. I told her that it was wrong for
him to hit her but I didn’t see why she took offense. If he’s buying videos he’s not with another
woman!! My husband made their fight ours when he looks upon my daughter as the same prude as
me! His main complaint with me is that I’m not interested in sex! I am but over the years I’ve
become resentful of living alone and feel abandoned and unloved !! When he comes home Friday
night he expects me to be a super sexy willing wife! Only talking to him for 10 minutes during the
week did nothing to make me want to be the kind of wife that he expected and when there was
bad weather and he skipped week ends that made it even worse. Saturday he emptied his
drawers,took off his ring, packed up his car and out the door he went again! I couldn’t believe
that he could be so insensitive when mourning my only sister was already devastating me! Because
he was not here during the week I guess he thought that my mourning should be over! It wasn’t
and never will be!! This was 3 weeks ago. I call him on occasion but he won’t call me and when we
do talk he’s always blaming me for the note and accusing me of being sexually cold!! For 3 days
I’ve been ill with a virus and I left him know this 2 days ago. Yesterday he called and said that he
was having men come over with a truck to take his bar, piano and various other things. He bought a
boat 4 months ago and it’s sitting in the driveway and he said that he will find a place to store it
and will be taking that too! I told him that I’m absolutely not going to lay sick on the sofa while
strange men move things out around me!! My 3rd husband left me money and I have a some left
after 10 years but I don’t know how long it will last. I had a job 5 yrs. ago that I almost was fired
from because my daughters didn’t get along with my husband. I had to take off a lot of days to
keep the peace! I eventually quit my job before getting fired and had my daughters move
elsewhere! My husband feels that things are not going to change and he wants out! Isn’t he
already out? I suggested that we get counseling by a professional marriage counselor. He didn’t
respond! He says that there is no one else but I don’t know if this is true or not! He lives too far
away for me to ever find out and I won’t drive that distance with my car running so badly!
My husband ran for Congress in 98 and Auditor General in 2000. Both campaigns I helped him!
Now he’s not running for anything and I thought now he would have more time for us but it didn’t
work out that way! I feel that his running for public office didn’t help our marriage. With so
many people admiring him, he became more aloof and self centered! Now he feels that I can be
replaced easily for a woman that’s less problematic that will be eager to put him on the pedestal
that he deserves! His trailer has to be sold by 4/01 in order to sell on lot. He offered to sell it
and move back but I’m worried if after he made a profit how long would it be before he decided
to move out again! I’m too mentally exhausted to be able to withstand it another time!!
Should I keep trying to hold on or should I give up and close the revolving door? I Love my
husband but he’s driving me crazy! I know that theres two sides to the story but I've tryed to be honest and unbiased. Sorry so long but I did leave a lot out! Any advice would be appreciated! I would like to know what
rights I have if he insists on sending men here to take out his mentioned items.Any advice would be
appreciated!
Thanks so much! [email protected]