Can she do this?

[misslisa1017]

What is the name of your state? NY
Hi, I'm new here, and wondering if someone could give some advice. My 19 yr old son has a child on the way in June this year. He and his girlfriend were never married.
The mom of the child split about a month after she learned of her pregnancy. They were doing a lot of arguing. She's 19 also. After all was said and done, my son accepted the fact that the relationship was over and now he had to get ready for a baby to come, but she refuses to talk with him at all.
He's even tried to get her to talk through a mediator. Not to get back together, but for the sake of the baby and him being in the babies life. She refuses.
Nothing he does or says will convice this girl to allow him to be in the babies life. He's so confused about the whole situation, and thinks she's going to cut him out all together. He had a Dad that wasn't there for him, so he feels his role in this childs life is the most important thing he can do.
Does he have to petition the court for paternity? Or will they petition him? I'm sure they are going to take him into court for child support, or at least would hope so. And once that is established does he go to court to file for visitation? He knows he's in for a long drawn out battle with the mom. She's already told him that no way no how is she ever going to let him see the baby. And that he can start sending her money now in cash. I told him not to unless he sends a check or money order.
If anyone can offer some advice, we'd really appreciate it. He wants to be there when the baby is born but someone told him that is impossible being he won't have rights to the baby till after paternity is established. Is this true too? Thanks so much in advance,
Lisa

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? NY
Hi, I'm new here, and wondering if someone could give some advice. My 19 yr old son has a child on the way in June this year. He and his girlfriend were never married.
The mom of the child split about a month after she learned of her pregnancy. They were doing a lot of arguing. She's 19 also. After all was said and done, my son accepted the fact that the relationship was over and now he had to get ready for a baby to come, but she refuses to talk with him at all.
He's even tried to get her to talk through a mediator. Not to get back together, but for the sake of the baby and him being in the babies life. She refuses.
Nothing he does or says will convice this girl to allow him to be in the babies life. He's so confused about the whole situation, and thinks she's going to cut him out all together. He had a Dad that wasn't there for him, so he feels his role in this childs life is the most important thing he can do.
Does he have to petition the court for paternity? Or will they petition him? I'm sure they are going to take him into court for child support, or at least would hope so. And once that is established does he go to court to file for visitation? He knows he's in for a long drawn out battle with the mom. She's already told him that no way no how is she ever going to let him see the baby. And that he can start sending her money now in cash. I told him not to unless he sends a check or money order.
If anyone can offer some advice, we'd really appreciate it. He wants to be there when the baby is born but someone told him that is impossible being he won't have rights to the baby till after paternity is established. Is this true too? Thanks so much in advance,
Lisa

He can petition now for custody and visitation and pray the court order a DNA test upon birth. He should do this now so that if the child is NOT his he can get on with his life and if it is, he can stand for his rights.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? NY
Hi, I'm new here, and wondering if someone could give some advice. My 19 yr old son has a child on the way in June this year. He and his girlfriend were never married.
The mom of the child split about a month after she learned of her pregnancy. They were doing a lot of arguing. She's 19 also. After all was said and done, my son accepted the fact that the relationship was over and now he had to get ready for a baby to come, but she refuses to talk with him at all.
He's even tried to get her to talk through a mediator. Not to get back together, but for the sake of the baby and him being in the babies life. She refuses.
Nothing he does or says will convice this girl to allow him to be in the babies life. He's so confused about the whole situation, and thinks she's going to cut him out all together. He had a Dad that wasn't there for him, so he feels his role in this childs life is the most important thing he can do.
Does he have to petition the court for paternity? Or will they petition him? I'm sure they are going to take him into court for child support, or at least would hope so. And once that is established does he go to court to file for visitation? He knows he's in for a long drawn out battle with the mom. She's already told him that no way no how is she ever going to let him see the baby. And that he can start sending her money now in cash. I told him not to unless he sends a check or money order.
If anyone can offer some advice, we'd really appreciate it. He wants to be there when the baby is born but someone told him that is impossible being he won't have rights to the baby till after paternity is established. Is this true too? Thanks so much in advance,
Lisa

You've done absolutely NO reading around this site, or any other, on this topic.....

Here, let us fling ourselves about and explain it all to you in a couple of paragraphs! (Who wants to do it this morning? Not me.)

 

[misslisa1017]

He can petition now for custody and visitation and pray the court order a DNA test upon birth. He should do this now so that if the child is NOT his he can get on with his life and if it is, he can stand for his rights.

Thanks so much for the advice and for being friendly.

 

[ceara19]

He can petition now for custody and visitation and pray the court order a DNA test upon birth. He should do this now so that if the child is NOT his he can get on with his life and if it is, he can stand for his rights.

Thanks so much for the advice and for being friendly.

He can't do anything until there is actually a CHILD to compare DNA with. Legally, there is no child until it is actually born.

 

[NotSoNew]

What is the name of your state? NY
Hi, I'm new here, and wondering if someone could give some advice. My 19 yr old son has a child on the way in June this year. He and his girlfriend were never married.
The mom of the child split about a month after she learned of her pregnancy. They were doing a lot of arguing. She's 19 also. After all was said and done, my son accepted the fact that the relationship was over and now he had to get ready for a baby to come, but she refuses to talk with him at all.
He's even tried to get her to talk through a mediator. Not to get back together, but for the sake of the baby and him being in the babies life. She refuses.
Nothing he does or says will convice this girl to allow him to be in the babies life. He's so confused about the whole situation, and thinks she's going to cut him out all together. He had a Dad that wasn't there for him, so he feels his role in this childs life is the most important thing he can do.
Does he have to petition the court for paternity? Or will they petition him? I'm sure they are going to take him into court for child support, or at least would hope so. And once that is established does he go to court to file for visitation? He knows he's in for a long drawn out battle with the mom. She's already told him that no way no how is she ever going to let him see the baby. And that he can start sending her money now in cash. I told him not to unless he sends a check or money order.
If anyone can offer some advice, we'd really appreciate it. He wants to be there when the baby is born but someone told him that is impossible being he won't have rights to the baby till after paternity is established. Is this true too? Thanks so much in advance,
Lisa

once the child is born he can file for paternity, visitation and support (if he wants). once paternity is established they will hear visitation/custody. mom has no choice, dad will get visitation as long as he is not unfit.

send her NO money now, check or otherwise, it will be viewed as a gift regardless. he does NOT have a right to be there when the baby is born, unless mom says so. it is HER giving birth and if she doesnt feel comfortable with him there, that she doesnt have to do.