Can she do this?

[Ohiogal]

Then fight for it in court. You very well may get it.

 

[lvierra2]

Then fight for it in court. You very well may get it.

I am.

Also, thank you and everyone else for the comments. I appreciate all the input about this situation.

 

[stealth2]

Why should Mom not get the 7 nights you work midnight - 7am?

 

[LdiJ]

Why should Mom not get the 7 nights you work midnight - 7am?

That is definitely a question that the judge would ask. Dad, you are not spending the night with your children 7 days out of 14. Why should they not spend the night with their other parent?

 

[t74]

That is definitely a question that the judge would ask. Dad, you are not spending the night with your children 7 days out of 14. Why should they not spend the night with their other parent?

That is definitely a question that the judge would ask. Dad, you are not spending the night with your children 7 days out of 14. Why should they not spend the night with their other parent?

Are you suggesting that he drop children off with mother at 11:30 pm on his way to work? Of course not; that is ridiculous. If he drops them off earlier, he loses all of that time (from drop off to bedtime). They are in school in the afternoon - assume 4pm.

This is a very difficult schedule to work around. Mother has already shown a disconnect with children by moving and giving him primary physical.

If he were to give mother the nights he has to work, he should certainly NOT give her majority time on vacations, holidays and summers. Giving her nights means they might as well go to nearly 50/50 with the summer schedule following the school year - i.e every other week.

 

[LdiJ]

Are you suggesting that he drop children off with mother at 11:30 pm on his way to work? Of course not; that is ridiculous. If he drops them off earlier, he loses all of that time (from drop off to bedtime). They are in school in the afternoon - assume 4pm.

Mom could pick them up 1/2 hour before bedtime.

This is a very difficult schedule to work around. Mother has already shown a disconnect with children by moving and giving him primary physical.

Mom is married to someone in the military and has a child with that person. A required military move is NOT a disconnect with the children. In fact, the fact that her husband wrangled a move back to HI would be a pretty clear indication that they worked hard to stop the long distance between mom and the children. That probably wasn't easy to do.

If he were to give mother the nights he has to work, he should certainly NOT give her majority time on vacations, holidays and summers. Giving her nights means they might as well go to nearly 50/50 with the summer schedule following the school year - i.e every other week.

Well, mom should get actual meaningful time on those nights if you want to try to call it 50/50. That would mean mom getting the whole evening, not just 1/2 hour before bedtime. However, yes if mom is getting meaningful time then both parents should have equal "down time" with the children, that is a given.

 

[lvierra2]

Why should Mom not get the 7 nights you work midnight - 7am?

The thing that made the biggest difference in progress for my children was consistancy. Sending them both between households for two days, then three days, then two days will not keep a consistant workflow for my children. It will especially throw off my child who has special needs.

 

[LdiJ]

The thing that made the biggest difference in progress for my children was consistancy. Sending them both between households for two days, then three days, then two days will not keep a consistant workflow for my children. It will especially throw off my child who has special needs.

Dad, I am totally sympathetic to how you feel about that. I think its hard on most children to have to live that kind of lifestyle. However the reality of things is that it is considered to be in the best interest of children to spend both some weekday and some weekend/downtime with both parents. In your case, you have a situation where your children aren't even spending the night with you 7 days out of 14.

 

[stealth2]

The thing that made the biggest difference in progress for my children was consistancy. Sending them both between households for two days, then three days, then two days will not keep a consistant workflow for my children. It will especially throw off my child who has special needs.

So how does it work then? Do the children stay in your home and your parents stay overnight with them? Or do the kids go to them?

 

[Ohiogal]

Dad, I am totally sympathetic to how you feel about that. I think its hard on most children to have to live that kind of lifestyle. However the reality of things is that it is considered to be in the best interest of children to spend both some weekday and some weekend/downtime with both parents. In your case, you have a situation where your children aren't even spending the night with you 7 days out of 14.

Please ignore LDiJ… she is clueless 99% of the time on custody issues. She is also mom-biased 100% of the time. She has proven that time and again.

 

[lvierra2]

Dad, I am totally sympathetic to how you feel about that. I think its hard on most children to have to live that kind of lifestyle. However the reality of things is that it is considered to be in the best interest of children to spend both some weekday and some weekend/downtime with both parents. In your case, you have a situation where your children aren't even spending the night with you 7 days out of 14.

Dad, I am totally sympathetic to how you feel about that. I think its hard on most children to have to live that kind of lifestyle. However the reality of things is that it is considered to be in the best interest of children to spend both some weekday and some weekend/downtime with both parents. In your case, you have a situation where your children aren't even spending the night with you 7 days out of 14.

I understand that it is a tough schedule. Even with my work schedule, the children have been able to thrive in my household for the past 3 years. I know what my family and I are doing is working and this is why I am trying to keep it all working.

 

[lvierra2]

So how does it work then? Do the children stay in your home and your parents stay overnight with them? Or do the kids go to them?

On a work day I head into work around 1100PM. The children stay at home with my parents. My father will drop the children off at school. I get off of work at or a little after 1200PM. I pick up the children from school. The rest of the time is spent doing homework, reviewing assignments, reading, sometimes cooking dinner, taking the children to their boxing classes, and making sure that the children are prepared to go to bed at their respective bedtimes. That is my usual work day.

I work 2 to 3 of the 5 weekly school days, so I am off for 2 to 3 of the 5 weekly school days. That gives me time to recuperate and I am looking forward to the children having more time with their mother on the weekend and holidays if all goes as I have planned.

I know the rest of this issue is up to the judge and I sure things will work out in the best interest of my children, even if it is the way I see it fit.

 

[LdiJ]

I understand that it is a tough schedule. Even with my work schedule, the children have been able to thrive in my household for the past 3 years. I know what my family and I are doing is working and this is why I am trying to keep it all working.

Unfortunately, you may have to accept that you cannot keep it all working the way it has. You may have to accept that there will be a new reality that you have to make work the best that you can.

 

[lvierra2]

I do understand that everything can't go as I want them to and this situation will be decided by a judge. I have faith that no matter what happens though, it will be in the best interest of my children.

 

[t74]

OP, Keep up the positive attitude.