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can the "breadwinner" take away my child?

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What is the name of your state? South Carolina

My husband and I have been happily married for 3 years but have been living together for a total of 6 years. I'm pregnant with our first child and I am due any minute. Everything with our marriage is great except for the interference with my mother-in-law. Everytime I fight with her, he fights with me. I had been working for the entire length of our relationship but had recently retired last week so I can be a full time mother.

My question is: everytime my husband and I get into one of the arguements he threatens to take away my child based on the fact that he is the sole provider of the family. Even if I did get my job back, I wouldn't come anywhere close to the salary that he makes. Do courts base custody on who has the most material things? Does he have the right to throw me out of the house leaving me homeless and penniless and keep our baby too?

I'm so scared.


First off I have to say that is very mean for him to say!!!!!!!! Do not let me say those things to you.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

info regarding South Carolina custody:

Custody of minor children resulting from divorce or seperation
When divorcing or separating parents cannot agree on which parent should have custody of their children, the Family Court must decide.

Neither parent automatically has a superior legal right to custody. One parent does not have to show the other unfit in order to obtain custody. The Court will consider the children's best interests in deciding custody, and the judge will consider many factors including the children's relationship with each other and with their parents; the children's adjustment to home, school, and community; the mental and physical health of all children and their parents; and, in certain circumstances, the wishes of the child or children.

In gathering information to assist in making a decision, a judge may use investigative agencies, psychologists and others. The judge may also appoint a lawyer to represent the interest of a child or children which is called a Guardian ad Litem.

Non-custodial parents can be awarded periods of specified visitation with their children. Many parents are able to agree on times for visiting or to have "reasonable" visitation working out flexible schedules among themselves.

If relevant circumstances surrounding custody and the child's best interests change substantially, the Family Courts can order a change in custody or visitation.

Joint custody or divided custody is possible in South Carolina but typically will be disfavored absent an agreement between the parents.


Senior Member
If he ever did that to you I'd go file divorce on the grounds of abandonment. Then I'd file for sole custody. You never know, a judge might be very interested to know how your husband abandoned you.


Another opinion

Hey! I'm definitely not taking your husband's side at all, it was very WRONG and IMMATURE of him to say that. However, I'd like to offer another opinion.

You mention you're pregnant with your first child and due soon. That is probably scaring the heck out of your husband. That is no excuse for his behavior, but the lives of both of you will be changing forever very soon.

My husband used to pull that on me when I was pregnant with our son. To the tune of "well, I'm the one who brings home a paycheck!" Like growing a life wasn't work?

This continued for a couple of months after our son was born. My husband used to want his way on everything because he was the one who left for work each day, he's the one "keeping this family fed," as he put it.

Anyway, we had a major fight one day and cleared the air. He learned that my work (taking care of the baby, keeping house, coordinating dr. appts., etc.) was just as important as his. I learned that the whole weight of the family (and possible failure) was on my husband's shoulders, and it scared him silly. Rather than tell me how he felt (since men were supposed to be strong), it was easier to lash out.

I can't help with the mother in law issue, sorry.

Like I said, he shouldn't have said those things, but I was trying to provide another perspective.

Please don't shoot the messenger!

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