Cannot locate ex wanting divorce finalized and terminate rights

[cantu1989]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I have not seen my "son" in 4years and he is now 5 I believe. I signed separation papers 3.5 years ago and then nothing happened after that. Her fiance is who her son knows as daddy(I also have a long term girlfriend and 2 young kids with her). When we spoke, she agreed to me terminating my rights when we divorced, but now I have no idea where she is and I am more than anxious to get this over with. What do I have to do in order to get the divorce finalized and petition for my rights to be terminated?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I have not seen my "son" in 4years and he is now 5 I believe.

Why do you term him thus, in quotes, as if he is not your son?

I signed separation papers 3.5 years ago and then nothing happened after that.

What did you expect to happen?
In which state did you sign separation papers?

Her fiance is who her son knows as daddy(I also have a long term girlfriend and 2 young kids with her).

Neither of those factoids make Mom's current man the child's father.

When we spoke, she agreed to me terminating my rights when we divorced, but now I have no idea where she is and I am more than anxious to get this over with. What do I have to do in order to get the divorce finalized and petition for my rights to be terminated?

Depends.

 

[cantu1989]

Why do you term him thus, in quotes, as if he is not your son?


What did you expect to happen?
In which state did you sign separation papers?


Neither of those factoids make Mom's current man the child's father.


Depends.

I don't even know if he is biologically mine. she said she was pregnant and i signed papers and married her 2 weeks after his birth. I signed in texas. last i heard she was moving to ok,but it was hearsay.
eta: i was not there for his birth.

 

[Silverplum]

I don't even know if he is biologically mine. she said she was pregnant and i signed papers and married her 2 weeks after his birth. I signed in texas.

From what I've read, you had two years after the child's birth to disestablish paternity. Now he's your son, period. You may be ordered to pay child support, etc.

See here, page 12 among others: http://www.clasp.org/admin/site/publications/files/0111.pdf

last i heard she was moving to ok,but it was hearsay.

Go to the courthouse where you live. Ask for the divorce packet. Ask if their self-help center is still open for business. Start up a divorce and stick to the process.

 

[single317dad]

Assuming all this has happened in Texas.

Texas does not recognize legal separation, so you're not legally separated, you're just "plain old married". You should file for divorce and begin the process of service. Service of someone you cannot locate can be a long and tedious process, including trying to find the party at last known addresses, searching through public records, asking known associates, and finally by publication.

Are you legally the father of this child? (e.g. was an affidavit of paternity signed, and your name listed as father on the birth certificate?). Simply marrying Mom after the birth doesn't accomplish that.

 

[Silverplum]

Are you legally the father of this child? (e.g. was an affidavit of paternity signed, and your name listed as father on the birth certificate?). Simply marrying Mom after the birth doesn't accomplish that.

Good thing you asked straight-up.

I was *assuming* the double-mention of signing papers was referring to the AOP. I could be wrong.

 

[cantu1989]

Assuming all this has happened in Texas.

Texas does not recognize legal separation, so you're not legally separated, you're just "plain old married". You should file for divorce and begin the process of service. Service of someone you cannot locate can be a long and tedious process, including trying to find the party at last known addresses, searching through public records, asking known associates, and finally by publication.

Are you legally the father of this child? (e.g. was an affidavit of paternity signed, and your name listed as father on the birth certificate?). Simply marrying Mom after the birth doesn't accomplish that.

I am on the bc and we signed papers for legal separation.

 

[Silverplum]

I am on the bc and we signed papers for legal separation.

Did you file the papers with the local courthouse? Did either of you have an attorney?

 

[cantu1989]

Did you file the papers with the local courthouse? Did either of you have an attorney?

We filed with her attorney. I got one call from him confirming they were filed and then nothing. He was disbarred 2 years ago apperently.

 

[Silverplum]

We filed with her attorney. I got one call from him confirming they were filed and then nothing. He was disbarred 2 years ago apperently.

Do you still live in or near that county? You could go to that courthouse where the attorney filed the paperwork and ask how to move it along.

Have you tried to find your X on the internet? Facebook and such?

 

[cantu1989]

Do you still live in or near that county? You could go to that courthouse where the attorney filed the paperwork and ask how to move it along.

Have you tried to find your X on the internet? Facebook and such?

I live next to that county. And she has deleted her facebook and myspace and changed her number, and her fiance won't respond to messages and has everything set to private.

 

[single317dad]

I live next to that county. And she has deleted her facebook and myspace and changed her number, and her fiance won't respond to messages and has everything set to private.

As much as she'd like to think he is, the man in her life cannot be her fiance if she's married to you; he's just the man she's committing adultery with.

I'd be very interested to learn what it is you signed and filed with the court, because as I stated, Texas is one of seven states that does not recognize legal separation.

People (even people who try to stay under the radar) have a habit of appearing in newspapers, court records, and more recently on other people's Facebook pages. I'd bet with a little effort and imagination, a skilled and motivated person could find her. If the child is 5, he'll be enrolled in school soon.

ETA: You can search records here to find your case and see what it actually says:

http://www.txcourts.gov/searchable.asp

 

[single317dad]

Good thing you asked straight-up.

I was *assuming* the double-mention of signing papers was referring to the AOP. I could be wrong.

I had assumed it as well, until I saw OP's second post just before I posted my reply.

 

[xylene]

I want to get rid of my kid and I want to do it DIY and free...

You need to hire a lawyer.

Terminating parental rights is not a handshake between people.

If you are too poor to afford a lawyer, then you can live with the status quo until you have some money saved up.

 

[Proserpina]

You need to hire a lawyer.

Terminating parental rights is not a handshake between people.

If you are too poor to afford a lawyer, then you can live with the status quo until you have some money saved up.

Actually, in Texas, if both parents agree? It's a pretty simple process.