Can't Make Summer Plans

[spig410]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?Oregon

My husband is the NCP. Summer visitation schedule is every other week (50/50), with each parent having 2 weeks uninterrupted. Husband must provide notification of which 2 weeks he wants by March 1st (which he did).
CP is to provide notification of her 2 weeks by March 15. She has not done this. She e-mailed husband and told him she cannot give him her dates until sometime in May because her new husbands' ex will not notify them until then as to what dates she wants their son.

Husband e-mailed back and told her he can't wait that long because out-of-state family members are trying to make plans to visit his kids and they need to know when they'll be here. It's been over 3 weeks since the deadline and she has not responded. The CO does not specify what will happen if either party fails to notify.

What can husband do? Can't afford to get an attorney involved in this right now. Does he have any options, or does he just have to put up with it and hope the kids get to see extended family? Any suggestions appreciated.

 

[fighting4myboys]

Have they tried mediation? It didn't work for me, but maybe it can for someone else. The mediator will set up specific dates for visitation.

 

[Zephyr]

i would say the mother runs the risk of not getting the children on the requested dates during the summer. it would be very nice of the dad to be accomodating insofar as he can, but if a scheduling conflict does arise, the responsibilty was on her to have reqested those dates by the deadline.

 

[stealth2]

He could plan to see extended family during his two weeks. He could see what happens. He could file for a modification (which likely won't be heard before this summer). He could refuse her the two weeks since she missed the deadline (and expect that he'll get filed against for contempt).

 

[spig410]

Husband is a little gunshy re: mediation. Had 50/50 custody until last year. Filed for mediation because of ex constantly messing with schedule. She no-showed for court ordered mediation and instead filed to move and take full custody. She won. Husband now has slightly better than standard visitation and has to travel 6 hours round trip to see or pick up kids. Court didn't seem to care that she was in contempt from the beginning for failing to show up.

 

[spig410]

Stealth, thanks for reply. I guess it's kind of what I figured but was hoping for some magical fix I wasn't aware of. Is there any way to document (other than just holding on to the e-mails) so that if this type of thing continues to be a problem we have a stronger case for modification? Husband doesn't want to deny her her two weeks, just wants her to follow the CO.

 

[spig410]

i would say the mother runs the risk of not getting the children on the requested dates during the summer. it would be very nice of the dad to be accomodating insofar as he can, but if a scheduling conflict does arise, the responsibilty was on her to have reqested those dates by the deadline.

You're probably right. We're just so sick of having things be ugly. The kids are the ones who end up suffering. They either miss a nice vacation with mom or time with grandparents (who they don't see often enough). Unfortunately husbands two week block is already planned and family can't come then. Thanks for your reply

 

[abstract99]

I would have father call mother and tell her that she has 24 hours to get him the dates or she will have to take her 2 weeks when it is conveinient for dad. I don't see why she can't have her 2 weeks because she seems to have a vailid reason why but I don't see why father should have to suffer.