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can't see my grandson

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sad grandmother

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What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania I have a very different problem.my son started going out with a girl who was 12 and he was 14,she is now 14 and he is 16,she has been wanting a baby for about a year,and I have talked to him and I also offered to get her on the pill,but she refused because and I found lots of letters from her to him saying how bad she wanted a baby.I did not allow them to be alone in my house so they wanted to go to her house all the time.I told her mother to never leave them alone and she did all the time.I called the police and they told me they were of age to be left alone and they couldn't do anything but I could make him leave the house which I did.anyway she got pregnant in nov. of last yr. and she broke up with him in april.she had the baby aug.14 but will not let us see the baby.I want to support the baby and see him but she says she doesn't want anything from us and we can't see the baby.I called child support but they told me I can't pay child support until she goes for it.I also called domestic relations to see if he could file a claim of paternity but they told me he can't do that either.I want to see and support the baby but I don't know what to do.I talked to a lawyer but they said it would cost like $4200 to take her to court.does anyone have any advise what I can do?I don't think I should have to pay all this money to lawyers when the money should go on the baby.please help
 


Grace_Adler

Senior Member
That's ok. What seems to be the problem? If you're having a hard time, you can go to the courthouse and file for visitation or have a lawyer do it for you.

Sometimes the State Bar Association has an attorney referral program where you they refer you to an attorney and you can get a consult for a reduced fee. At least they could tell you how to go about doing it yourself. Sometimes when they refer you to an attorney they may charge less than others. Call around and see if you can find someone with what you can afford.

It may even be possible to qualify for legal aid.

Also just to help you out, when talking about the same subject, you can hit the post reply button at the bottom of the last post. :)
 
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sad grandmother

Guest
Thank you very much for your help.can I go to the court house and file even though she hasn't went for child support?
 

stephenk

Senior Member
first file for paternity on behalf of your son and have a blood test done to be sure he is the father. THEN, after it is determined he is the father, file for visitation and support.
 
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tdbird

Guest
since she is only 14 years old would you not be dealing with her parents. Will they not let you see the grand child? Does your son get to see the child. I know in Ky that the mother if of age has the right to say who see the child.
My parents have not seen my daughter since the divorce, only when i have her on my visitation.
Does your son want to be involved? He can get a lawyer appointed to him thur legal aid.
 

bugaboo

Member
I agree with what everyone else is saying. Go to the court, file for paternity than visitation.

But I have a question. If she is only 14, where are her parents, and what do her parents have to say about this matter? Do they support her decision in acting like a little brat? Are they helping her support the baby? Have you talked to her parents?

The reason for these question is yous son and her are minors. Maybe you, the parents/adults could come up with something reasonable regarding support and visitation.

PS: Instead of spending all this money on an atty. You know what you need, try going to a para legal and have them fill out the proper forms.
 
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DennisK

Guest
I have great experience with the PA court situation. You need to call the custody office and file there. Believe me, each county has a fill in the blank form for everything. you can file on your own. What county are you in?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Has anyone considered whether this young man may be charged with statutory rape? I have no idea what the PA laws are, but someone should look into it.
 
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sad grandmother

Guest
first of all this girl had my son so brain washed it is not even funny,I had my son in therapy to try to get him away from her,and the dr. said she was his forbidden fruit and if I let him see her they would grow apart like all kids do,but it didn't work that way.she has been thrown out of school many times because she has no respect for anyone.my son has a mother and father and a sister that love him very much and she has a mother that used my son so her daughter would leave her alone her mother had her father put in jail years ago for some unkown reason but she doesn't think having a father around is important to a kid.I think her mother wants control of her daughter and now she feels she has it.I sent her mother an email and she has not responded yet.I feel really bad for the girl because her mother could of prevented this but she was too busy going to the bar.I know my son had as much to do with this,but he is a young boy who was getting sex so why would he want to leave her.I have been on the phone everyday trying to get help and noone wants to talk to me because she didn't file for support yet.domestic relations said she had to claim the father and he couldn't do it without her.I don't even know what she put on the birth cert. but she did send a picture of the baby to my mother in law and he looks just like my husband and son at birth and I do think it's his.I feel it in my heart so i have to fight to see it.I will go to the court house on tuesday when I'm off work and see what they say.I live in york county
 
S

sad grandmother

Guest
stephenk-do you know if there is a time limit to file and what do I do to do this?I was told bt domestis relations that only she could file and a lawyer told me the only way to have a blood test is if she goes for child support and he says he is not the father.Is this true.right now I don't who to believe. thanks
 
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DennisK

Guest
Domestic Relations and the custody office are two separate entities up there and don't talk to each other very much. As far as support is concerned, maybe open a joint account in yours and your sons name for monies earmarked for the child. This way in the future, you can show your support for this child. I would go through the custody office. . Just because she's the mother doesn't mean that your son shouldn't be able to have rights to his child. Basically, the steps up there are mediation, conference, judge. The custody office should be able to help you. What you don't want is for them to be able to prove abandonment by your son. I can't see the custody office turning you away. There are a lot of good websites out there. I would consult the PA statutes and read up. Let me know what happens Tuesday. I will also be in court that day for my case. (Lehigh County)
 
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4gals1guy

Guest
It takes 2 years of no support and contact to be considered abandonment, so there's no worry of that for now. The father of this child has the right to visitation and the responsibility of support. You, as his mother, can help him file for these things, but you cannot get them yourself. Grandparents don't have visitation rights.
 

Grace_Adler

Senior Member
In alot of states, grandparents can file for visitation and often recieve it. I believe PA is one of these states but I'll have to do more reading up on it later. I'll get back with you as soon as I can.

Also yes, she would have to be the one to file for child support since the baby is in her care.

I'm wondering if it would be possible to go ahead and file for custody and visitation (talking about your grandson, the child's father) and being able to get a paternity test that way.
 
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4gals1guy

Guest
It's likely that she'll file for support when she finds out the father is filing for visitation. But that's only fair, isn't it?

I commend this grandma for wanting to help the baby financially and have a relationship with him/her, but I also encourage her to require her son to take the same responsibility.
 

Grace_Adler

Senior Member
Ok, I found the following links regarding grandparent's visitation rights in PA. It seems it is possible to get them but that's it's very hard and has some provisions.

http://www.dsl.psu.edu/elderlaw/summary.htm

Read the last paragraph especially, on the above link.

http://www.grandparenting.org/Grandparent Visitation.htm
http://www.aarp.org/litigation/table.html
http://writ.news.findlaw.com/grossman/20020312.html
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/grandparents/states/pennsylvania.shtml (this one is pretty good)

§ 5311. When parent deceased.
If a parent of an unmarried child is deceased, the parents or grandparents of the deceased parent may be granted reasonable partial custody or visitation rights, or both, to the unmarried child by the court upon a finding that partial custody or visitation rights, or both, would be in the best interest of the child and would not interfere with the parent-child relationship. The court shall consider the amount of personal contact between the parents or grandparents of the deceased parent and the child prior to the application.

§ 5312. When parents' marriage is dissolved or parents are separated.
In all proceedings for dissolution, subsequent to the commencement of the proceeding and continuing thereafter or when parents have been separated for six months or more, the court may, upon application of the parent or grandparent of a party, grant reasonable partial custody or visitation rights, or both, to the unmarried child if it finds that visitation rights or partial custody, or both, would be in the best interest of the child and would not interfere with the parent-child relationship. The court shall consider the amount of personal contact between the parents or grandparents of the party and the child prior to the application.

§ 5313. When child has resided with grandparents.
If an unmarried child has resided with his grandparents or great-grandparents for a period of 12 months or more and is subsequently removed from the home by his parents, the grandparents or great-grandparents may petition the court for an order granting them reasonable partial custody or visitation rights, or both, to the child. The court shall grant the petition if it finds that visitation rights would be in the best interest of the child and would not interfere with the parent- child relationship.

§ 5314. Exception for adopted children.
Sections 5311 (relating to when parent deceased), 5312 (relating to when parents' marriage is dissolved or parents are separated) and 5313 (relating to when child has resided with grandparents) shall not apply if the child has been adopted by a person other than a stepparent or grandparent. Any visitation rights granted pursuant to this section prior to the adoption of the child shall be automatically terminated upon such adoption.

http://www.divorcenet.com/pa/pa-art13.html

The next link talks about paternity.
http://members.aol.com/StatutesPA/23.Cp.51.html

Well at any rate, if your son files for visitation then it should be granted (under normal circumstances) and therefore during his visitation time you can visit with your grandchild. So I think he should file for a paternity test, custody(joint) and visitation.

I don't know if my statement about support on the other post was confusing. I meant to say that being that the child would be staying with her, it would not be possible for your son to open a support case with CSE. She would have to be the one to do that. Since she won't accept your money or gifts right now, there's not much you can do. But if she ever does, make sure you keep all reciepts and cancelled checks so you can prove you were helping to support this child if or when she ever decides to open a case.

I don't understand, was the lawyer telling you that he can't order a paternity test? I don't understand why not. ???
 
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