Cease and desist to verbally abusive spouse?

[Cherylee11]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

Can I send a cease and desist letter to my spouse's attorney to make her stop verbally attacking me in front of our 8 year old daughter? Our daughter cries hysterically during these fights and is now saying things like she hates herself and wants to hurt herself.

We are at the beginning of the divorce and she is constantly screaming at me about money and paying bills. It appears see is trying to get me to go after her or get me to lash back at her. I think she is recording her rants, but they only make her sound evil. We have to live together during this mess. I anticipate she is going set me up somehow to try to get me kicked out of the house.

I have to act immediately for my daughter's well being.

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

Can I send a cease and desist letter to my spouse's attorney to make her stop verbally attacking me in front of our 8 year old daughter? Our daughter cries hysterically during these fights and is now saying things like she hates herself and wants to hurt herself.

We are at the beginning of the divorce and she is constantly screaming at me about money and paying bills. It appears see is trying to get me to go after her or get me to lash back at her. I think she is recording her rants, but they only make her sound evil. We have to live together during this mess. I anticipate she is going set me up somehow to try to get me kicked out of the house.

I have to act immediately for my daughter's well being.

Sure, why not? Keep in mind that it has no legal force.

Your best bet may be to move, unless there are other factors that have not been presented here.

 

[Cherylee11]

No money

Sure, why not? Keep in mind that it has no legal force.

Your best bet may be to move, unless there are other factors that have not been presented here.

Neither of us can afford to get a place until the house is sold. Basically I want to avoid getting a TRO, but hoping this would serve as a warning that that is next.

 

[Zigner]

Neither of us can afford to get a place until the house is sold. Basically I want to avoid getting a TRO, but hoping this would serve as a warning that that is next.

Based on what you've posted, you're NOT going to get a restraining order. Husbands and wives argue...that's not a valid cause for a restraining order.

 

[Shadowbunny]

The best thing you can do for your daughter is either 1) to send her out of the room or 2) remove yourself from the fracas. But no letter is going to make your spouse behave.

Don't escalate nor participate in these screaming matches. Put your daughter's needs ahead of your own by ensuring that she doesn't have to be a witness to the madness. You can also find free parenting classes here: https://www.projectselfsufficiency.org/free-parenting-classes-sussex-county-nj-new-jersey.html

 

[Cherylee11]

Child endangerment

Based on what you've posted, you're NOT going to get a restraining order. Husbands and wives argue...that's not a valid cause for a restraining order.

When my 8 year old is crying and saying she hates herself and she is going to hurt herself, that should be enough reason.

Also, she forged my signature on a gun I own and she transferred it into her name. She has the gun now and I do not know where it is.

 

[Zigner]

When my 8 year old is crying and saying she hates herself and she is going to hurt herself, that should be enough reason.

As indicated above, you are just as responsible for that as your spouse. YOU can deescalate the situation by removing yourself from the situation. That you choose to continue with the shouting match casts just as much blame on you as it does on her.

Also, she forged my signature on a gun I own and she transferred it into her name. She has the gun now and I do not know where it is.

Again, not cause for a restraining order. What did the police say when you reported this?

 

[Cherylee11]

No police

As indicated above, you are just as responsible for that as your spouse. YOU can deescalate the situation by removing yourself from the situation. That you choose to continue with the shouting match casts just as much blame on you as it does on her.

Again, not cause for a restraining order. What did the police say when you reported this?

I didn't report it, but her attorney knows about it.

 

[Zigner]

I didn't report it, but her attorney knows about it.

If this theft and forgery was so important, particularly since it concerns a firearm, why wouldn't you have reported it? It boggles the mind...

 

[not2cleverRed]

When my 8 year old is crying and saying she hates herself and she is going to hurt herself, that should be enough reason.

Also, she forged my signature on a gun I own and she transferred it into her name. She has the gun now and I do not know where it is.

Get the kid who is threatening to be self harming into therapy.

Seriously.

 

[Just Blue]

When my 8 year old is crying and saying she hates herself and she is going to hurt herself, that should be enough reason.

Also, she forged my signature on a gun I own and she transferred it into her name. She has the gun now and I do not know where it is.

Children who self-harm do so for control. Your daughter feels like she has no control over this horrible situation. I STRONGLY ADVISE you to get her help. If you do not she will hurt herself and you and mom will child neglect/abuse.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

Can I send a cease and desist letter to my spouse's attorney to make her stop verbally attacking me in front of our 8 year old daughter? Our daughter cries hysterically during these fights and is now saying things like she hates herself and wants to hurt herself.

We are at the beginning of the divorce and she is constantly screaming at me about money and paying bills. It appears see is trying to get me to go after her or get me to lash back at her. I think she is recording her rants, but they only make her sound evil. We have to live together during this mess. I anticipate she is going set me up somehow to try to get me kicked out of the house.

I have to act immediately for my daughter's well being.

A few questions -- is this a same sex marriage?
Is your daughter rin counseling?
What have you done about your wife stealing the gun? (Apparently nothing so therefore you don't really care and you want to use it as a gotcha.)

Knock off the attempts to "get" your spouse and do what is right, even if that means taking the children and moving out to a local place.

 

[HRZ]

IF .your adversary has an attorney ..you best figure out how to afford one .
NJ is a one party consent state as to recording...protect your interests as appropriate.
it is certainly a possibility that she is trying to bait you into hitting her ...resist same no matter how badly provoked
you need counsel sooner than later


I'd be real nervous about unreported theft of firearm or forged transfer ...in today's times nothing is sure ...review it with your counsel soon .

I would NOT write a darn thing to her attorney , no no no...he or she is not there to protect you .

.