Change of Educational Environment and Due Process

[Zigner]

Zig, I really have to disagree with you on this one.

Fair enough.

 

[Indiana Filer]

I need to add to this thread, because it's a pet peeve of mine: PRINCIPAL The principal is your PAL

I don't think there is any legal remedy to this situation, but I'd advise your son to just pretend the girl doesn't exist. He is to act like she is invisible. No contact, don't look at her, don't interact with her at all. If she is someplace, he is not to be there to interact, just to help this situation blow over quicker.

If she contacts him, he should delete the messages without response.

 

[loudfalcon]

We have made every effort to make sure that we respected their wishes at all times. That was not the issue here at all. The issue was that they did not give us that option this time around. Her mom decided she did not want them talking and instead of telling their daughter, us or our son, they simply called the school and the school decided to get involved. If they had told us and we ignored it, or our son ignored it, I would agree with you , they did not extend that opportunity.

 

[Zigner]

We have made every effort to make sure that we respected their wishes at all times. That was not the issue here at all. The issue was that they did not give us that option this time around. Her mom decided she did not want them talking and instead of telling their daughter, us or our son, they simply called the school and the school decided to get involved. If they had told us and we ignored it, or our son ignored it, I would agree with you , they did not extend that opportunity.

Best of luck to you...

 

[not2cleverRed]

She has had a history of depression and her parents where worried about her becoming co-dependant is what we gathered last summer. They are in their early 60's while we are in our late 30's and I think there is a difference in understanding of technology and its use in relationships. I believe last summer they where concerned that they where texting eachother to much. I know alot of this does not make sense, at least it did not to me, but we tried to meet there wishes. We have copies of all there communication (we monitored it) and up to the day her mom called the school they were both emailing and texting eachother normal conversation stuff like nothing was out of the ordinary, and had to block her email account to my son as she was still trying to email him after her mom called the school.

I believe they have a better understanding of the technology and *healthy* relationships that you. They've seen a lot more than you.

Regardless of what the issue was , it still is not a school issue. It should never have been a school issue. Had her mom thought that a situation had occurred that created a concern for her well being in anyway I am sure she would do what all of us would do as a parent, and that is contact the police. That would give us an outlet to work through what ever the issue is and all due process would have been given. Instead this principle, long before he even spoke with my son took it upon himself to send that email out. The only way we found out what was happening was after my son told me and I contacted the school. Its just should never have been any of the schools concern. They simply should have said, they are not breaking school state or federal laws. If you have a problem with your daughter and him talking we will be happy to move your daughter, and should never have involved him. Thats my frustration here.

Yes, it would have been nice for them to have contacted you... But they contacted you before, and you just didn't seem to get it: their daughter is emotionally fragile. They're overly concerned. Keep your distance.

And yes, I am a parent. And I'm dealing with a situation that could potentially go the same way as yours, given half a chance, although with tween girls, not teenagers. I get the angst. I don't know why you're here.

But the fact that you ARE here says something... and it's not positive.

 

[xylene]

Authority is for chumps.

 

[Zigner]

Authority is for chumps.

One must choose their battles. Constantly fighting authority for the sake of fighting is silly.

 

[loudfalcon]

But they contacted you before, and you just didn't seem to get it:

We did get it, made sure they stopped talking. When she approached him at the beginning of the year we gave him instructions on how to proceed, ie contact her parents, let them whats going on and make sure it is ok with them if you start speaking again at her request, and they replied in the affirmative. i think we have gone out of our way to try and make sure their needs where met and a channel of contact was open.

Let me pose this question then. Should we as parents be able to call the school at will and lodge an unsubstantiated complaint or make a demand of the district in regards to another child's student and expect it to be carried out by the district without any investigation? Anytime there was a parent who simply did not like another kid , allwe would have to do is call up the district, complain, and expect something to be done to that student. That is the precedent that has been set here.

My point about age is this. When I was teenager in the 90's I remember sitting on the phone talking to my friends for long periods of time, and freaking out when someone I knew had a party line where three of us could talk at the same time. Now take a normal conversation you may have had at that age, break it down into one or two sentence messages going back and forth and that looks like a lot of text messages. When in reality its a simple conversation. Anyways that's alot off the subject of my original questions.


One of you also says "One must choose their battles. Constantly fighting authority for the sake of fighting is silly" We are not constantly fighting, in fact we love our district and up to this point have loved the school. We choose to ask a question about this because you simply shouldn't accept everything everyone does from a position of authority without question when you feel like you have been treated unfairly. It only support the notion that the behavior is acceptable and with out a check in place these types of things can escalate into bigger issue later on.

 

[Zigner]

We did get it, made sure they stopped talking. When she approached him at the beginning of the year we gave him instructions on how to proceed, ie contact her parents, let them whats going on and make sure it is ok with them if you start speaking again at her request, and they replied in the affirmative. i think we have gone out of our way to try and make sure their needs where met and a channel of contact was open.

Let me pose this question then. Should we as parents be able to call the school at will and lodge an unsubstantiated complaint or make a demand of the district in regards to another child's student and expect it to be carried out by the district without any investigation? Anytime there was a parent who simply did not like another kid , allwe would have to do is call up the district, complain, and expect something to be done to that student. That is the precedent that has been set here.

My point about age is this. When I was teenager in the 90's I remember sitting on the phone talking to my friends for long periods of time, and freaking out when someone I knew had a party line where three of us could talk at the same time. Now take a normal conversation you may have had at that age, break it down into one or two sentence messages going back and forth and that looks like a lot of text messages. When in reality its a simple conversation. Anyways that's alot off the subject of my original questions.


One of you also says "One must choose their battles. Constantly fighting authority for the sake of fighting is silly" We are not constantly fighting, in fact we love our district and up to this point have loved the school. We choose to ask a question about this because you simply shouldn't accept everything everyone does from a position of authority without question when you feel like you have been treated unfairly. It only support the notion that the behavior is acceptable and with out a check in place these types of things can escalate into bigger issue later on.

I would expect the school to respect my wishes if I requested that my child not be in contact with another particular child.

 

[loudfalcon]

I would expect the school to respect my wishes if I requested that my child not be in contact with another particular child.

As would I, but I would not expect them to alter another student in the process. If I have the issue then they need to move my kid.

 

[Zigner]

I think we're done here.

 

[Silverplum]

I think we're done here.

THANK you.

AND Indiana Filer.

 

[Ladyback1]

I would expect the school to respect my wishes if I requested that my child not be in contact with another particular child.

And if the little missy is instigating contact and/or will not abide by her parents' wishes by continuing to attempt contact w/ OP's son... then how is this a problem w/ OP and OP's son?

While I do not believe has any legal recourse at this time, I do believe that the school handled it badly!