Change of living arrangements for my 14 year old daughter

[KimbrlyClark]

What is the name of your state? South Carolina

My daughter has asked me to obtain information for her regarding her living arrangements. Her father and I divorced when she was 2 1/2 years old. We have joint custody, he being primary. Her father is in the process of moving a woman in whom my daughter does not care for. The woman has lived with them previously and is known to use illegal substances and has very different views of morality than my daughter has been raised with. It is possible that I will be moving to another state in the next few months due to a job change for my husband. Due to financial constraints over the years, I have been unable to pay child support but have always been available to pick my children up from school, care for them over and above the visitation agreement and even after things were better financially I continued to do for them and their father did not complain about the money as long as I was able to buy school clothes, supplies, and pay for extra activities. This has not been much of an issue over time until she asked if she could come to live with me when her dad remarries. He tells her that she has no choice and that if we take him to court he will demand back payment and the court will deny custody. SC Family Court has failed me in the past and I don't want to get her hopes up unnecessarily. I'm not sure if I need an attorney at all. The child support was not paid thru court and he can neither prove nor disprove payment, nor can I. I only want my daughter to be happy. Please respond and let me know if I need to retain an attorney and if so what her rights are as a 14 year old with a good foundation.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? South Carolina

My daughter has asked me to obtain information for her regarding her living arrangements. Her father and I divorced when she was 2 1/2 years old. We have joint custody, he being primary. Her father is in the process of moving a woman in whom my daughter does not care for. The woman has lived with them previously and is known to use illegal substances and has very different views of morality than my daughter has been raised with. It is possible that I will be moving to another state in the next few months due to a job change for my husband. Due to financial constraints over the years, I have been unable to pay child support but have always been available to pick my children up from school, care for them over and above the visitation agreement and even after things were better financially I continued to do for them and their father did not complain about the money as long as I was able to buy school clothes, supplies, and pay for extra activities. This has not been much of an issue over time until she asked if she could come to live with me when her dad remarries. He tells her that she has no choice and that if we take him to court he will demand back payment and the court will deny custody. SC Family Court has failed me in the past and I don't want to get her hopes up unnecessarily. I'm not sure if I need an attorney at all. The child support was not paid thru court and he can neither prove nor disprove payment, nor can I. I only want my daughter to be happy. Please respond and let me know if I need to retain an attorney and if so what her rights are as a 14 year old with a good foundation.

Whether or not dad has fussed about it you owe all of that back child support, with interest. You would have been better off paying the child support and letting dad use it to pay for the things that the children needed.

In addition, the odds of a judge in ANY state switching custody AND allowing the child to relocate out of state are slim to none. If you were staying put it would be worth a try (realizing that your arrearages in child support would become official and you would HAVE to pay), but if you are moving you probably don't stand a chance.

 

[stealth2]

And actually, the onus will be on you to prove that you have been paying the ordered support. Which.... you apparently can't do.

 

[KimbrlyClark]

People like you is why the family court system is screwed up.

I have joint custody, so technically custody was never taken from me. I was living with my "paramour" at the time and that is why my ex had primary guardianship. He had this woman living in his home as his "wife" even though they were not legally married. I did not have the financial resources to go to court at the time. They have since separated and are now preparing to get re"marry". This woman has a debilitating illness and smokes marajuana "medicinally". She also has been known to leave the children unsupervised for long hours at a time when she lived with them before. Do 14-year old adolescents not have any rights? What about emancipation?

 

[Silverplum]

I have joint custody, so technically custody was never taken from me. I was living with my "paramour" at the time and that is why my ex had primary guardianship. He had this woman living in his home as his "wife" even though they were not legally married. I did not have the financial resources to go to court at the time. They have since separated and are now preparing to get re"marry". This woman has a debilitating illness and smokes marajuana "medicinally". She also has been known to leave the children unsupervised for long hours at a time when she lived with them before. Do 14-year old adolescents not have any rights? What about emancipation?

People like Stealth and LdiJ are the reason the family court system is screwed up?? You can't possibly begin to defend that stupid statement.

Was it Stealth's fault you haven't been supporting your children? Or was that LdiJ's fault? Oh, and I'll bet it's MY fault that you lost custody.

 

[Neal1421]

I have joint custody, so technically custody was never taken from me. I was living with my "paramour" at the time and that is why my ex had primary guardianship. He had this woman living in his home as his "wife" even though they were not legally married. I did not have the financial resources to go to court at the time. They have since separated and are now preparing to get re"marry". This woman has a debilitating illness and smokes marajuana "medicinally". She also has been known to leave the children unsupervised for long hours at a time when she lived with them before. Do 14-year old adolescents not have any rights? What about emancipation?

No, she cannot be emancipated. She cannot fully support herself on her own which is part of what emancipation entails.

 

[weenor]

I have joint custody, so technically custody was never taken from me.

You have joint legal, not physical custody. Thus any change in the child's residence constitutes a change in physical custody and YOU have a much higher burden to prove that the change would be sufficiently beneficial to the child.

I was living with my "paramour" at the time and that is why my ex had primary guardianship. He had this woman living in his home as his "wife" even though they were not legally married. I did not have the financial resources to go to court at the time.

All of this is irrelevant. Bottom line is you are seeking a change of custody and the fact that you did not care enough about your child over the years to pay support is evidence suggesting that the child should not be moved.

They have since separated and are now preparing to get re"marry". This woman has a debilitating illness and smokes marajuana "medicinally". She also has been known to leave the children unsupervised for long hours at a time when she lived with them before.

To the extent you could prove any of this, it is largely irrelevant because the 14 year old can take care of herself.

Do 14-year old adolescents not have any rights?

Not with respect to deciding who gets custody. Her opinion will be considered. However, NO child should ever be placed in the position of having to chose.

What about emancipation?

Not even close.

You can get mad all you want, but the law is the law. Spend your money, knock yourself out.