changing school rights in custody issue

[pittrocks]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

Hey haven't been on in a while...was crazy busy. I have a question to ask of the more experienced seniors.

What would constitute proof of change of circumstance for changing school districts?

(I have school rights currently. Custody arrangement is that I have kids( ages 6 and 5) from M 8am through Weds 6pm and every other Friday 8 am through the following Monday. That means that I have them for 70% of the school hours. Custody order grants that the children go to school in my district, which is about 2 miles from father's district. Son is starting 1st grade and daughter will be starting K. Father was given deadline to petition to review prior to June 1 of this year, he didn't and just filed this week, saying that it's more convenient for him to have the kids go to schools in his district. Needless to say, he is on deployable status, was gone 80% of last school year, and lives with his mother; it's not really his house at all. He is married to a woman who lives in another county and has a child enrolled in her district. Son has ADHD and has 504 plan in place at current elementary school, plus is doing great! Hearing for this is to take place in August. Anyone else think father is being crazy besides me??? Their stepsister goes to my school and so will their baby sister.

 

[CJane]

So Dad has them two school mornings every week? And that's it?

He's loco.

 

[LdiJ]

So Dad has them two school mornings every week? And that's it?

He's loco.

I agree...add that he is deployable and that makes him even more loco.

 

[pittrocks]

Thanks for the replies

Thanks...

Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks this is BIZZARE.

My attorney told me he doesn't have much of a chance...just wanted to get some insights from y'all as well.

I will keep you guys posted....

(You would think after 5 times of him being told he's wrong by the courts, he would finally get it, but guess not).

 

[pittrocks]

getting reimbursed for dental expenses I paid

Had another question...

Had informal arrangement that ex would take kids to dental appts and I would take them to medical appts. Ex is court ordered to provide coverage for both. While ex was deployed this year, found out had to get kids dental exams for school. (Found out that they were over one year overdue for checkups, he hadn't taken them).
Actual appt was after ex returned stateside, but he couldn't take them that day either. I took them and then after exams were over, found out that dentist was now out of network. I was required to pay entire cost up front ($350) and get reimbursed from the insurance company. Only thing is, since ex carries the insurance, the checks went to him. I've verified that the checks were mailed to him on 6/4 in the total amount of $345. I have politely e-mailed him several times about him forwarding me the payment and now he is refusing. (I do have first e-mail from him saying he will pay, now he says not to bother him about this.) I am ready to file small claims suit, but I didn't know if there is a way to try to attach this to his child support garnishments. I have a call in to Domestic Relations but they haven't called me back. I also have been paying $30 per month for son's ADHD meds and think it would be reasonable for us to split that cost as well. (Of course ex refuses that as well). Any thoughts are appreciated! (At time of support order, son was not diagnosed).

 

[LdiJ]

Had another question...

Had informal arrangement that ex would take kids to dental appts and I would take them to medical appts. Ex is court ordered to provide coverage for both. While ex was deployed this year, found out had to get kids dental exams for school. (Found out that they were over one year overdue for checkups, he hadn't taken them).
Actual appt was after ex returned stateside, but he couldn't take them that day either. I took them and then after exams were over, found out that dentist was now out of network. I was required to pay entire cost up front ($350) and get reimbursed from the insurance company. Only thing is, since ex carries the insurance, the checks went to him. I've verified that the checks were mailed to him on 6/4 in the total amount of $345. I have politely e-mailed him several times about him forwarding me the payment and now he is refusing. (I do have first e-mail from him saying he will pay, now he says not to bother him about this.) I am ready to file small claims suit, but I didn't know if there is a way to try to attach this to his child support garnishments. I have a call in to Domestic Relations but they haven't called me back. I also have been paying $30 per month for son's ADHD meds and think it would be reasonable for us to split that cost as well. (Of course ex refuses that as well). Any thoughts are appreciated! (At time of support order, son was not diagnosed).

File for contempt for dad withholding the insurance payment from you. Ask to have your motion heard with the pending school motion.

 

[pittrocks]

Update on school issue

So mediation was today..which failed, of course.

Father said he wants to change school districts because he isn't satisfied with how the school communicated with him after he returned from deployment in April. He admitted to being gone for 70% of the school year. When he returned, the school set up a meeting with us, including the principal, teacher, and counselors, and district psychologist, to discuss what would help our 6 year old son succeed (he has ADHD). A 504 plan was made out and given to both of us. Our son feels very comfortable at this school. He knows he has ample support and knows who he can talk to if he has problems. He is doing well on his meds and had a great end of year report card. He's made lots of friends. Dad is saying that he wasn't given any mailings, phone calls, or e-mails from the school on our son's progress. He seems to think that the school should have called him every week to inform him, even though he never asked for that. The mediator kept asking him what info he thought was being withheld and he couldn't give her a straight answer. I told him that the only official mailing I got since April was the report card, which I gave him a copy of today, since it was in our son's backpack for about a month after school ended and nobody took it out (leading me to believe that Dad wasn't paying attention). I said that I had received calls and e-mails from the school about our son, but they were return calls that I had made checking up on things.

Our five year old daughter is supposed to start kindergarten next month and she is familiar with the school as well. My nine year old stepdaughter attends this school also. Many of them have neighborhood friends that go to this school. The kids are doing great in this district, I don't see how it is in their best interests to change it.

Father says that if he changes school districts he can be more hands-on with the children and that will be in their best interests. (Needless to say, he didn't come to Open House this year. He was working and sent his mom in his place. He also didn't come to our son's end of year class party and poem recital. Again the mom came in his place.)

I don't mean to ramble, but anyone have any thoughts? I can't believe that somehow Dad thinks that everyone else has to anticipate every thought or need that he may have.

Since mediation failed, our hearing is next week. Seems silly to be fighting about this...however, I can't help feeling that Dad just doesn't get it.

P.S. Custody is as follows: Mom (Mon 8am-Weds 6pm, every other Fri 8am through Monday)
Dad (Weds 6pm-Friday 8 am, every other Fri 8am through Monday 8am)

 

[Isis1]

he has an idea that the school is his personal secretary??? it's all the schools fault he wasn't updated every week? geez, you got a winner here.

 

[pittrocks]

Yeah, thanks, aren't I lucky??

I think he lives in a parallel universe.

 

[LdiJ]

So mediation was today..which failed, of course.

Father said he wants to change school districts because he isn't satisfied with how the school communicated with him after he returned from deployment in April. He admitted to being gone for 70% of the school year. When he returned, the school set up a meeting with us, including the principal, teacher, and counselors, and district psychologist, to discuss what would help our 6 year old son succeed (he has ADHD). A 504 plan was made out and given to both of us. Our son feels very comfortable at this school. He knows he has ample support and knows who he can talk to if he has problems. He is doing well on his meds and had a great end of year report card. He's made lots of friends. Dad is saying that he wasn't given any mailings, phone calls, or e-mails from the school on our son's progress. He seems to think that the school should have called him every week to inform him, even though he never asked for that. The mediator kept asking him what info he thought was being withheld and he couldn't give her a straight answer. I told him that the only official mailing I got since April was the report card, which I gave him a copy of today, since it was in our son's backpack for about a month after school ended and nobody took it out (leading me to believe that Dad wasn't paying attention). I said that I had received calls and e-mails from the school about our son, but they were return calls that I had made checking up on things.

Our five year old daughter is supposed to start kindergarten next month and she is familiar with the school as well. My nine year old stepdaughter attends this school also. Many of them have neighborhood friends that go to this school. The kids are doing great in this district, I don't see how it is in their best interests to change it.

Father says that if he changes school districts he can be more hands-on with the children and that will be in their best interests. (Needless to say, he didn't come to Open House this year. He was working and sent his mom in his place. He also didn't come to our son's end of year class party and poem recital. Again the mom came in his place.)

I don't mean to ramble, but anyone have any thoughts? I can't believe that somehow Dad thinks that everyone else has to anticipate every thought or need that he may have.

Since mediation failed, our hearing is next week. Seems silly to be fighting about this...however, I can't help feeling that Dad just doesn't get it.

P.S. Custody is as follows: Mom (Mon 8am-Weds 6pm, every other Fri 8am through Monday)
Dad (Weds 6pm-Friday 8 am, every other Fri 8am through Monday 8am)

Dad has no basis for this at all. I cannot believe that he is even going forward with this. Do you think that he plans to move or something and that is why he is trying to do this?

 

[pittrocks]

I have no earthly idea why he does the things he does...

The district where he wants them to go is about 2 miles from me.

It's actually his mother's district, she has a townhouse that her mother purchased for her (I know this because we were still married at the time). He stated today for the mediator that he lives with his mother and the kids, when he has them. He's been living there for about a year, prior to that he had the "marital home", which was foreclosed on; this house was in another school district that is less optimal.

Funny, last year he remarried an out-of-county lady who has an 11 year old. He never mentioned her today. Don't know what that means...I am skeptical that he is trying to use his mother to take care of the kids on his days, so he can do whatever he wants.

 

[LdiJ]

I have no earthly idea why he does the things he does...

The district where he wants them to go is about 2 miles from me.

It's actually his mother's district, she has a townhouse that her mother purchased for her (I know this because we were still married at the time). He stated today for the mediator that he lives with his mother and the kids, when he has them. He's been living there for about a year, prior to that he had the "marital home", which was foreclosed on; this house was in another school district that is less optimal.

Funny, last year he remarried an out-of-county lady who has an 11 year old. He never mentioned her today. Don't know what that means...I am skeptical that he is trying to use his mother to take care of the kids on his days, so he can do whatever he wants.

I am wondering if he wants to move in with his "out of county" wife and thinks that if he gets an order for the kids to go to school in his district that he will end up with primary custody.

 

[pittrocks]

The thought has crossed my mind as well...

While he was deployed, she was hassling me quite a bit. She sent me e-mails telling me I was a horrible person because he pays child support.
(His income is 2/3 greater than mine). She seemed to think that my husband should pay for everything regarding the kids, yet her income is "hers".

Anyway, I blocked her e-mails and phone numbers. She had told me that it was my fault they couldn't live together. She even went so far as to try to get his support stopped while he was overseas.

What a couple of winners they are. They both deserve each other.

 

[pittrocks]

Update on Hearing for School/Custody Issue

Well, hearing was Tuesday.

The same master presided over this hearing as she did last year.
(She was the one that ruled that the kids go to my district).

Turns out, Dad is getting a divorce from second wife, supposedly.
Supposedly he is transferring to another reserve unit and will not be deployed for the forseeable future.

The master wasn't happy that Dad was not forthcoming with details about his second marriage (he had remarried but hadn't mentioned it last time and wife was out-of county), or the fact that he was deployable last time.

But, she didn't rule on the case because she didn't want him to contest it every year. She said that either party could keep petitioning every year to change schools. Knowing him, he would.

Now we have to get a court-appointed psychologist to evaluate only for school placement, and we have to abide by his recommendation. I spoke with him, and it looks like the soonest we can start this is in 2 weeks. He has to contact the attorneys first and then he's on vacation.

I'm more than a little frustrated. I hope that it will show that it's in the children's best interests to remain at the school where they are comfortable and our son has a plan in place for his ADHD. I spoke with the principal and she is more than happy to talk with the psychologist about things.

Any thoughts?

 

[kimberlywrites]

I would think the fact you have an education plan in place at your school should heavily factor into the psych's position. Do you have papers that prove it, as well as papers confirming his ADHD diagnosis? I would think the psych should be given copies of that.
I know it's hard not to worry, but I don't think you have to.