Changing Schools

[Lostridgegirl]

What is the name of your state? Wisconsin
If there is a standing order that says my ex husband cannot have my daughter stay overnight at his house and he cannot see her without supervision due to a sexual assault charge; doesn't this override the order that she has to attend his school rather than the school district I reside in? The school order was written about 5 years ago whereas the order for the supervised visits were written earlier this month.

 

[Zephyr]

if custody of the child has been transferred to you and you do not live in the child's current school district, and cannot feasibly transport her to the current school, then you need to modify the order.

 

[Ohiogal]

The one order does not overrule the other order. It is in addition to and requires that you modify where she goes to school. Zephyr is correct. If the judge wanted you to be able to put her in your school then he should have dealt with that.

 

[Lostridgegirl]

Changing schools

I guess it is kind of confusing to me. The divorce order stated it was 50/50, holidays split, the regular set up, etc. and we are not following any of that arrangement. The new conditions of the supervised visits are something he agreed to and signed off to in order to get the charges dropped. How come I didn't have to modify the holiday arrangement; this was an automatic change based on the new order? Why is the school arrangement different? The new arrangement was set in criminal court whereas the old divorce order of course was in a different court, family court, and also in a different county. Is there a way I can start the modification of the school set up and purpose a stipulation myself or do I have to hire an attorney? Also we both live in the same county now which was different than when the divorce was final. How do I get this switched to our county? Again do I need a lawyer for this?

 

[Zephyr]

will dad agree for you to change schools?

 

[Lostridgegirl]

Will dad agree.

No, he has already fought us twice and won on school location. That was before this new order.

 

[Lostridgegirl]

will dad agree for you to change schools?

No he will fight.

 

[LdiJ]

The one order does not overrule the other order. It is in addition to and requires that you modify where she goes to school. Zephyr is correct. If the judge wanted you to be able to put her in your school then he should have dealt with that.

I am not sure that I agree. If mom currently has primary custody under emergency orders then automatically the child would be enrolled in mom's district based on state regulations. All states are pretty consistant on this....the child is supposed to be enrolled in the district where the child primarily resides.

However...lets forget all of that and simply focus on what is "reasonable". Dad has been denied regular custodial periods because dad has been charged with sexual assault. Is it "reasonable" that a judge would ding mom for enrolling the child in her district? No, its not. Is it reasonable to assume that the judge would expect that the child would be enrolled in mom's district...Yes, it is. Is it reasonable to suggest that mom needs to take it back to court and incur additional legal costs and possible disruption to the child...NO, it is not.

Unless the child is a highschooler where its difficult to move from one school to another midterm, this is actually a ridiculous discusson under these circumstances....and suggesting that the child and custodial parent should be inconvienced by technicalities that a judge would not impose is equally ridiculous.

Sorry....but that's reality.

 

[ceara19]

I guess it is kind of confusing to me. The divorce order stated it was 50/50, holidays split, the regular set up, etc. and we are not following any of that arrangement. The new conditions of the supervised visits are something he agreed to and signed off to in order to get the charges dropped. How come I didn't have to modify the holiday arrangement; this was an automatic change based on the new order? Why is the school arrangement different? The new arrangement was set in criminal court whereas the old divorce order of course was in a different court, family court, and also in a different county. Is there a way I can start the modification of the school set up and purpose a stipulation myself or do I have to hire an attorney? Also we both live in the same county now which was different than when the divorce was final. How do I get this switched to our county? Again do I need a lawyer for this?

Now I'm a little confused. Who was the victim of the Sexual Assault that dad was charged with? Because of the fact that the criminal charges were dropped in return for signing the new custody agreement, it leads me to believe that the CHILD was the one assaulted.

 

[Ohiogal]

I am not sure that I agree. If mom currently has primary custody under emergency orders then automatically the child would be enrolled in mom's district based on state regulations. All states are pretty consistant on this....the child is supposed to be enrolled in the district where the child primarily resides.

However...lets forget all of that and simply focus on what is "reasonable". Dad has been denied regular custodial periods because dad has been charged with sexual assault. Is it "reasonable" that a judge would ding mom for enrolling the child in her district? No, its not. Is it reasonable to assume that the judge would expect that the child would be enrolled in mom's district...Yes, it is. Is it reasonable to suggest that mom needs to take it back to court and incur additional legal costs and possible disruption to the child...NO, it is not.

Unless the child is a highschooler where its difficult to move from one school to another midterm, this is actually a ridiculous discusson under these circumstances....and suggesting that the child and custodial parent should be inconvienced by technicalities that a judge would not impose is equally ridiculous.

Sorry....but that's reality.

But it is not the legal case. If the new order does not contradict the old order directly or state that the old order is no longer valid in any way then those portions of the old order stand. The new order calls for supervised visits. I understand what you are saying and agree that what you are saying is reasonable. However there is a court order stating the child must attend school in dad's district -- it could be because the schools are much better or they have special programs for this child. However, legally until she gets a court order allowing her to put the child in another school, the child still needs to attend in dad's district or mom will be in contempt. Would a judge nail her for it? Who knows. but she still needs to get a new order.

 

[LdiJ]

But it is not the legal case. If the new order does not contradict the old order directly or state that the old order is no longer valid in any way then those portions of the old order stand. The new order calls for supervised visits. I understand what you are saying and agree that what you are saying is reasonable. However there is a court order stating the child must attend school in dad's district -- it could be because the schools are much better or they have special programs for this child. However, legally until she gets a court order allowing her to put the child in another school, the child still needs to attend in dad's district or mom will be in contempt. Would a judge nail her for it? Who knows. but she still needs to get a new order.

And again, I am going to disagree. The reality of the situation is that a judge does not have total control of where the children go to school. That is governed also by state regs and school district policy....and common sense.

I do not believe that it is fair to tell this poster that they must spend the time and money to take this issue back to court. The children no longer live with dad on a 50/50 basis. The children are no longer eligible to attend school in dad's district. Should someone attempt to enrol them in dad's district with the current orders in effect, the school would refuse to enrol them. That is more than adequate defense should the issue of contempt ever arise.

 

[Ohiogal]

And again, I am going to disagree. The reality of the situation is that a judge does not have total control of where the children go to school. That is governed also by state regs and school district policy....and common sense.

I do not believe that it is fair to tell this poster that they must spend the time and money to take this issue back to court. The children no longer live with dad on a 50/50 basis. The children are no longer eligible to attend school in dad's district. Should someone attempt to enrol them in dad's district with the current orders in effect, the school would refuse to enrol them. That is more than adequate defense should the issue of contempt ever arise.

Unless they have open enrollment or some other means available to them. It is possible to enroll students in districts where they do not live. If that option is available that poses a problem. Since OP has not said if that option is available then you cannot say she can just enroll them anywhere. You do not know that they are no longer eligible. You are assuming that. Again quite respectfully the court order controls. She needs to get it modified to make sure she is on the up and up. No attorney will tell her otherwise.

 

[Lostridgegirl]

Now I'm a little confused. Who was the victim of the Sexual Assault that dad was charged with? Because of the fact that the criminal charges were dropped in return for signing the new custody agreement, it leads me to believe that the CHILD was the one assaulted.

Yes, my daughter was the one assaulted, but the charges were dropped because the D.A. didn't think we had a strong enough case and didn't want to take a chance and lose. My ex-husband agreed to supervised visits and no over-nights, and to have a joint session w/ my daughter and her therapist. Now he is refusing to follow thru on this order and take us back to family court and get 50/50 again. We really can't afford a lawyer and we have no idea where he is getting all of his money. He hired the best family lawyer in the area and last time we went to court his lawyer ate up our lawyer. $5000 later he won. We just can't afford a lawyer again.

 

[ceara19]

Yes, my daughter was the one assaulted, but the charges were dropped because the D.A. didn't think we had a strong enough case and didn't want to take a chance and lose. My ex-husband agreed to supervised visits and no over-nights, and to have a joint session w/ my daughter and her therapist. Now he is refusing to follow thru on this order and take us back to family court and get 50/50 again. We really can't afford a lawyer and we have no idea where he is getting all of his money. He hired the best family lawyer in the area and last time we went to court his lawyer ate up our lawyer. $5000 later he won. We just can't afford a lawyer again.

The CRIMINAL case should have never been tied to your CIVIL case. I'm sorry, but if it were my child and I managed to keep from killing him long enough to see the inside of a courtroom, I wouldn't have settled for anything less then him having NO CONTACT with the child.

I don't understand why your custody/visitation order from the FAMILY court was even being used as a bargaining tool in his criminal case! You need to start with the DA and find out EXACTLY what the result from the criminal case was. Was the case dismissed with prejudice, can the criminal charges be refiled? What ever you do, if it were ME and I truly believed he had harmed my daughter, I would NOT allow him any where NEAR my child, regardless of what the court order says.

 

[Lostridgegirl]

The CRIMINAL case should have never been tied to your CIVIL case. I'm sorry, but if it were my child and I managed to keep from killing him long enough to see the inside of a courtroom, I wouldn't have settled for anything less then him having NO CONTACT with the child.

I don't understand why your custody/visitation order from the FAMILY court was even being used as a bargaining tool in his criminal case! You need to start with the DA and find out EXACTLY what the result from the criminal case was. Was the case dismissed with prejudice, can the criminal charges be refiled? What ever you do, if it were ME and I truly believed he had harmed my daughter, I would NOT allow him any where NEAR my child, regardless of what the court order says.

It has been a long frustrating year. Unfortunately since I don't know a lot about law I had to depend on what the DA would tell me. After he was arrested and a no contact bond order written he didn't have any contact with my daughter for months. Then he was allowed to see her through supervised visits with her counselor and then through a monitoring center 1X a week. The DA kept hoping he would plea bargain but he didn't and as it got closer to the court date the DA was afraid the jury might let him off and he didn't want to risk that for my daughter. He said it was a weak case, "there was no penetration" even though his touching her and "massaging" her over her "privates" was enough to make me want to kill him with my bare hands. I haven't understood how he seems to have more rights and protection than my daughter. He is a major control freak and the king of manipulation. The crap he feeds her during the supervised visits is enough to make me puke but of course I have to bite my tongue so it doesn't look like I'm "coaching" her. The whole school issue is just a control thing. My daughter met with the GAL today to tell her all the reasons she wants to go to the school in my district; her younger sister will start there this year and all the neighbor kids go there. Can she make her recommendation that she attends my district school and file a motion to have it changed or does it have to come from me or my attorney? Or can I just assume that because my daughter resides 100% with me right now she attends the school district to which she is living, which is my district? He can't even send her a letter in the mail and yet he can choose where she goes to school? He pays nothing in child support and yet he gets the final say in where she goes to school?